So, here are the things that I’ll totally do, if I see you do it.
#1 Get One More: This mostly applies to chips at a Mexican restaurant, but can also be seen with just about any appetizer at any restaurant that I’ve frequented. The chips overtake me, especially when there is queso involved. I’ll be quite alright with my decision to quit stuffing my face (“No, no…hee, hee…I’ve had QUITE enoughdidyoujusttakeanotherchip?” *stuffs three more in her mouth*), unless I see you go for one more. I can actually do enough damage to the chip basket by myself, even if you never had one. I think there is something deep inside me that thinks if I don’t finish off the chip shards at the bottom of the chip basket, I’ll be doomed to eat nothing else forever. In general, though, if you get one more of something, I might get one more of something. Like a glass of wine. Hooooo, boy. Let’s not even go there.
#2 Take Notes:The other day, I was in a class-like atmosphere. I realized when I started taking notes, girlfriend next to me started taking notes. You know she didn’t think that was an important thing that was just said until I started moving my pen across the paper! I’m the same way, though. “Ohhhhhh, no, you aren’t. You aren’t the only one who just thought that was an important piece of information. Look at me! I’M WRITING, TOO! I’M TAKING NOTES, TOO!” I actually love taking notes. If I could go back to college or high school and just take notes, I so would.
(My husband is the exact opposite. If he doesn’t want to take notes, THE BOY WON’T. I can be feverishly writing things down that we may have heard together during a sermon or a class of some sort and can be outright breaking a sweat over it and I’ll look to my right to see no notes being taken whatsoever. I’ll joke with him and ask him if he wants to borrow my pen to take notes. He knows I know that he wants no part of my pen. I sometimes just take notes because I want the teacher or leader to know that I’m listening and thinking that he or she is saying something important. My notes may just be “one two buckle my shoe”, but I’m writing something down! I’m such a people pleaser. I need to get a grip. My husband is such a leader. He does what he wants to do and that’s it. It’s served him well in life to date, but, still, TAKE SOME NOTES, SON!)
#3 Move The Mouth: This one is embarrassing. Although I have done this while someone is talking- my mouth moves when their mouth moves- it’s really noticeable when I’m feeding food to a baby. As I approach their mouth with a spoon and his or her mouth opens, my dingdang mouth opens up, too. FOR THE LOVE. I’m not eating the food! Why am I opening my dingdang mouth? I consciously try to keep my mouth in check when I’m feeding a baby in front of someone else, because, hello, weird. I don’t feed food to babies too often anymore, but still. I’m a real Mouth Mover sometimes and I’ve got to quit that. (Sidenote: My 14-month-old nephew moves his little mouth as he concentrates on his shape sorter. It’s the sweetest thing. It must run in the family.)
#4 Drive That Way: Nothing more shameful than when you find yourself trying to get around an accident or construction or something and you find a stream of cars going in a certain direction, so you follow them…down a dead end road. All of you have to goooooo to the end, back up, tuuuurrrrrn around… You feel like waving down everyone you see going that direction to tell them to stop looking like an idiot (“BEEN THERE!”), but you have no clue if they live on that street or need to go that way or what. All you can think about is how stupid they look, but then you stop yourself because you were just there. “Look at all of those followers. The poor souls.” You feel all high and mighty but that is only because not even 2 minutes before you were the one yelling out “OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE, IT’S A DEAD END” as you slowly made your way out of the blasted cul-de-sac. I’m really bad about driving that way if you drive way in parking lots. If I’m not sure how to get out of a big parking lot, I’ll follow you for so long, you’ll be tempted to jump out with a can of mace.
#5 Sneeze: Did that girl just sneeze? Oh, no, ma’am, she’s not the only one sneezing today. Look at this…look at this…watch this…I’m about to sneeze, too. Hold on…hold on a dang minute… It’s coming! Iiiiiiit’s coming. I LOST IT. I lost the sneeze. This is terrible. The letdown is too much. I was hoping to sneeze because she sneezed. I felt the urge. I was about to sneeze and then…nothing. Gone. Yeah, if you sneeze, I’ll usually sneeze, but, if I lose the sneeze, well, it takes a while to get over. If you see this happen to me, give me some space.
There’s my five.
I need to work on my leadership skills and I know it.
Are you a follower like me? Do you have other things to add to this list?
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