I thought these hearts were appropriate for this month.
*This was originally published in a couple of years ago. I thought she needed to be saluted again.
All the nail salon ladies of the world should be saluted, no doubt, but the LIMITED ENGLISH SPEAKING ones are getting all the praise today. (The ladies that have been saluted in the past here in the Break Room can be found under “Today, We Salute YOU” tab under the “Special Features” tab of the navigation bar.) Many of you are likely familiar with Anjelah Johnson’s hilarious salute to her nail salon lady. If not, you’ll most definitely want to click HERE. It makes me laugh out loud every time!!
Kelley’s Break Room presents…
Re-l Wom-n of G-nius
(the dashes are being used due to a copyright issue)
Reeeeeeeeee——llllllll Wom——–n of G————niuuu-uuuus!!!
Today we salute YOU, Ms. Limited English Speaking Nail Salon Lady.
(Ms. Limited English Speaking Nail Salon Laaayhaaaaydeh!!!)
It’s 4 p.m. inside the three white and one glass wall of your nail salon situated in a busy strip center and you couldn’t be happier. You chatter happily with your sister, your cousin, your 8-year-old daughter and the one token male who wanders around with his squirt bottle hoping to kill all the germs Mrs. Humongous Fungus Among Us just left in the pedicure bath.
No matter how many heels made of solid rock you go after with your cheese grater, you keep smiling. You keep smiling as you cradle their gnarly feet in your hands and try to make their rocks succumb to your chisel. You keep smiling as you clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip away at their sometimes thick, yellowed, ingrown TOENAILS that sometimes set sail…..right…into…your…mouth.
(Somebody pass me a tooooooooothpiiiiiiiiick!!!!!!!)
As you paint Hot Red Mama on toenails the size of half-Tic Tacs, you are able to keep one eye on Maury Povich blaring on the TV and one eye on the prize all while sweetly calling over your shoulder “I be ri wi you” to Ms. Grumpy Chipped Nails waiting on the black leather couch with her outdated People magazine. That bell keeps clanging on the glass door that broadcasts “NO CHECK!” and you know it’s going to be a loooooong afternoon. Still, you smile.
So, crack open a new package of nail files, Ms. Limited English Speaking Nail Salon Lady, and know that you and YOUR SMILE are the REAL reason we return to your nail salon over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
Ms. Limited English Speaking Nail Salon Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyhaaaaaaaaaydehhhhhhhh…..