It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a child that is of prom age yet. I’m thinking that it doesn’t even matter if you are a mom. It’s more about what kind of prom mom do you think you’d be? I think the best way for you to find out (and then for you to tell me) is to take this quiz.
#1 When your daughter asks about getting a prom dress, you:
a) You try to get her to pick out something that covers her from head to toe. (You are hoping they have the Ghost Line somewhere in the store.)
b) Throw her some money and tell her to not come back looking like a hooker.
c) Go with her to stores, watch her show off the dresses she likes to you and then buy her (or help her buy) a prom dress that is respectful and stylish.
d) Encourage her to pick out an outfit that shows off the most skin.
#2 When the limo pulls up and all your kid’s friends are gathered in the front yard, you:
a) Ask your daughter to pose for a picture by herself and maybe 1 or 2 more FEMALE friends.
b) Go back inside. The Wheel of Fortune is on.
c) Stand out there taking pictures, but just a few. You are cognizant of “the look” your daughter gives when you’ve overstepped her boundaries.
d) Ask her to sit on all of the boys’ laps while licking their faces. You take as many pictures as you can and immediately post them on Facebook with a big “LOLZ” attached.
#3 When your son or daughter pull away from your house in a limo headed for prom, you:
a) Hunt it down with your car until you both stop at a red light. You have the limo driver roll his window down so that you can yell out, “SLOW DOWN! THAT’S MY BABY IN THERE!”
b) Pop some champagne and start moving your kid’s stuff into the front yard.
c) Look at your husband or friend or mom or someone with tears in your eyes. You’re all verklempt that this day has actually arrived.
d) You get in your sports car, follow the limo and then tailgate in the parking lot at the prom’s hotel.
#4 While your son or daughter are at prom, you:
a) Text your kid at least 1,000 times to remind them about curfew.
b) Forget they are at prom and then leave for the weekend (once you’ve finished moving your kid’s stuff into the front yard, of course.)
c) Watch home videos of your child as a toddler.
d) Try to sneak into prom, too. You’ve tossed enough back that you are ready to show those kids your signature dance moves. “Can we get some ‘Lucky Star’ up in here?” you yell.
#5 When you know prom is finally over, you:
a) Stand outside by the mailbox. When it hits 12:01 and you don’t see your kid, you call the cops.
b) You actually don’t know prom is over because you forgot about prom, remember? You’re gone and your child is going to come home to stuff in his front yard. Your poor kid! Shame on you!
c) Stay up until he or she gets home, but don’t press him or her for all the details…yet. You do a basic sniff test to make sure you don’t smell anything illegal and then go to bed.
d) See your kid walk out, because, hey, you’re there, too! “Where’s the after party??” you yell as you trip on the beer cans you have scattered around your lawn chair.
If you answered mostly a’s, you’re…
THE HELICOPTER MOM. You love your child so much that you just can’t bear to let them go. You are having a very hard time not joining The Wannabe-BFF Mom at prom, but for a different reason. You would have gone with her, but you are afraid of her driving.
If you answered mostly b’s, you’re…
THE NEGLECTFUL MOM. You love your child so mu… Wait. I don’t really think you do. You probably aren’t even reading this right now, so what does it matter?
If you answered mostly c’s, you’re….
THE GOT-IT-MOSTLY-TOGETHER MOM. You are having a hard time letting go, just like most parents at this stage. You try to walk the line of protecting your child and allowing your child to make his or her own choices. Don’t even get you started about graduation.
If you answered mostly d’s, you’re…
THE WANNABE-BFF MOM.Girlfriend, you need to CHILL. You had your time. Get off the dance floor, clean up the cans and go join your neighborhood Bunco group.