Should My Mother-In-Law Go To Jail?

0


I need your help.  I know you’ve spent lots of hours watching court TV and that is why I am coming to you.  You are also free.  I need to know…

Is the MIL breaking the law?
Let me give you the details…  If you were to stake out a spot in the lobby of your favorite movie theater this week and sit in it for about an hour or so on any evening you’d like, you might see my mother-in-law swing through the doors.  At first you’d think the nice lady with the red hair was on her way to a Tuesday night movie alone.  Suddenly a heeeeeeeeeeeey…..wait a minute” would pop into your head.  The nice red-headed lady has got a bag.  An empty plastic bag.  Given that you don’t see any duct tape, a box cutter, a Glock or a can of silly string, you breathe a sigh of relief.  Perhaps, you think, she is an avid litter collector.  She may even be nauseous and carries around her own bag, in case of an emergency, you tell yourself.

You see her approach the snack bar.  She is smiling and appears to be a friendly lady.  The scene quickly changes, however, as you see her do a lot of pointing and explaining to a teenager with his mouth flung wide open.  You begin to breathe a little faster, fumble for your phone, wildly search for the 9 and the 1 all while trying to flag down a Cinemark employee.

You can’t believe it.

You thought you’d never have to see this in person.  Not this close.  You are witnessing….


A POPCORN HIJACKING.

The nice red-headed lady, we’ll call her Debbie, is clearing the place out of hot, buttered, fresh popcorn and SHE IS SHOWING NO MERCY.

She swiftly turns on her heels with the largest amount of movie theater popcorn you have ever seen in one location, outside of the corn kernel’s torture chamber (more commonly known as a popcorn machine, I think).   The red-headed lady quickly scatters out of the theater’s front door seconds later after casting fast glances to her left and right with this bag in her arms–>
No movie ticket was bought.
No movie was seen.
Just tons of popcorn was whisked away from the only home it has never known.  By my mother-in-law.

“Try to stop me, suckahs!!”
“I love popcorn!  SUE ME!”

After seeing a movie this weekend with her (I dressed as a large break-dancing anteater to avoid 


detection by people I knew), I took a picture of her with the REALLY LARGE POPCORN TUB…in the movie theater parking lot.  It is clear that Debbie does not think what she is doing is wrong.  Look at how she is laughing in the face of law enforcement.  She buys a large, refillable popcorn tub for $7, dumps it in her bag, has them refill THAT and then dumps THAT into her bag, too.  It may just be a matter of time, maybe even only a few days, when her refill requests never end.  The absolute disregard she has for people in the line behind her and their popcorn needs is almost more than I can take and is spinning wildly out of control, I’m afraid.  So callous, this one.  She is clearly NOT afraid of the slammer. 
To make things worse, it appears that I am her accomplice.  Those are MY blue-jeaned knees wedging the golden popcorn VERRRRRRRRY carefully inside the car as we made the dash with our valuable stash.
Will her popcorn hijacking ever end? 

Will her desire for movie theater popcorn ever be satiated?
WILL WE GO TO JAIL???
Help me.

***My mother-in-law is well aware of this joke and has actually read the post.  I originally posted this a couple of years ago. She still loves her movie theater popcorn. She is a wonderful, fun and loving mother, grandmother & mother-in-law and is not a lawbreaker!  Thanks for being a good sport, Debbie! ***

Share.

Leave A Reply