The Day Robin Thicke Helped Me Paint

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Can you believe Robin Thicke stopped by my house to help me paint the other day? His favorite joke he kept making was, “Look at my strokes. They’re nice and Thicke. Hahahaha!!”

(He’s not real good with the jokes.)
(I would always just stare at him and then tell him to get back to work.)
He was a great help, though. Trying to convert my 8-year-old’s room from hot pink to tan and navy would have been hard to do alone. Besides the constant “Jason Seaver” name dropping, he was really quite handy at helping de-Pepto Bismolize my son’s room.
Where we ran into trouble was with the stripe I was painting all around the room. This was difficult for Robin to get right and I think this was primarily due to the fact that he never let up on singing “Blurred Lines”. I’d tell him, “Hey, could you quit singing that song? I hear it on the radio constantly” to which he’d reply, “You know want it”. He’d sing it all deep-like and stuff.
The truth is, I would have wanted it if it hadn’t affected his painting.
“Don’t use that painter’s tape, Robin.”
“You know you want it.”
“No! I don’t! You’re making me crazy!”
“You know you want it.”
“Quit it!  I like the lines to be straight. The painter’s tape allows the paint to bleed through. Don’t you see? I mean, how do you like your lines? Straight or blurred?”
“Blurred lines!”
He was relentless. 
I had to resort to showing him pictures to prove my point and to keep him focused.
Here was the first one I put in front of his face, complete with labels and everything.


“You see, Robin? When you use the painter’s tape, the paint bleeds underneath the tape resulting in blurred lines!”

“Awesome. I like it.”

“No, we don’t want this. Blurred lines are bad.”

“Errbody get up!”

“Where are you going Robin? Where are you going with your entourage? Don’t storm out of here, please! I need your help!”

“Errbody get up!”

“Pretty please?”

“Okay, okay. I’ll stay.”

Then I showed him this picture to try to calm him down and prove my point.

“You see what a difference it makes when I used caulk to paint? The lines look really sharp now. It’s beautiful, right? My friend Christi taught me this trick.”

“What’s caulk?”

“Oh, Robin. It’s that white stuff that comes in a tube that you can buy at Wal-Mart that you use to seal the corners of showers, counters and places like that. We are using it differently here. We are going to seal over the edge of the painter’s tape and into the space that we are painting. We bought ‘paintable caulk’ so that we could paint over it without a problem.”

“Errbody get up.”

“What are you doing?”

“It looks too hard. Also, I don’t go to Wal-Mart.”

“I already bought it and it’s not hard to do!”

“Fine.”

So I had to show it to him.

My two boys (8 and 5) smeared the paintable caulk after I placed dots of it around the room. They liked being a part of the project and I liked the help. It got a little messy, but I knew I was going to paint over it, so I didn’t worry. Also, Robin clearly needed the help and his entourage was too lazy.
“Robin, you see what caulk is now? Do you see what I did there? The caulk sealed the openings under the tape caused by some even tape being paired to an uneven wall.”
“It’s a goooood thaaannng!!”
 “Do you ever stop with the singing?”
“You know you want it.”
“No, what I want you to do is to tell me how you like this final stripe. It’s clean, right? Nice and neat?”

“It’s the hottest stripe in this place!!”
“Well, that might be taking it too far. I mean, I like how the final product came out, too. I still need to paint the ceiling but, hey, at least the room isn’t hot pink anymore, righ–“
“It’s a goooood thaaaannnggg!!!”
He really never stopped singing, but he ended up growing on me. I knew this because I was able to control myself and refrain from ripping his sunglasses off his face while yelling, “WE’RE INSIDE! WHEN YOU’RE INSIDE, YOU TAKE OFF YOUR SUNGLASSES!”
 
And that’s a good thang.

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