It’s practically the next Harlem Shuffle, except it’s not a dance.
Combine the Harlem Shuffle with the cronut and what you’ve got yourself is one big mess.
You haven’t heard of the CRONUT yet? The ones that Anderson Cooper tried to get a secret order on but was told he would have to stand in line for them like everyone else? The ones that Hugh Jackman stood in line for like he was a common man or something? The ones that people in line for HOURS to taste? The ones that are being sold on the black market? The ones that people are limited to buying only 6 of because they are so absolutely DELICIOUS at $5 each? The ones that have their own Craigslist ad with people willing to stand in line for them and then turn around and sell them to you for $40 EACH in some places? It all depends on how far the guy’s got to deliver them, of course.
Goodness gracious. It is time to get you in on these cronuts.
As you can see for yourself, cronuts are a mixture of donut and croissant that don’t quite taste like a donut nor do they taste like a croissant. This is craziness at its extreme. I’m not sure my mind can take it! Dominique was a smart man when he obviously first created the dessert but secondly when he decided to make only 200 of them each day. This makes everyone crave them even more. THEY’RE ALMOST GONE! WE MUST STAND IN LINE LIKE IT’S BLACK FRIDAY!
The word “cronut” is trademarked, but some people are out there trying to mimic the recipe and calling theirs “doissants”, which I love. Doissants. Here are a couple that you can try if you live too far away from Dominique Ansel’s bakery. I haven’t tried either. Maybe this weekend…
I’ve decided that I want a piece of this cronut pie, though. I mean, I can’t make a “cronut” because then Dominque would come and shoot me with his donut glaze gun or something. I don’t even really want to start making tons of “doissants” either because those have been done. No, what I need to do is mix together two other pastries and start a line outside my front door a mile-long.
I need some fast cash.
Maybe you could pick your favorite below? I can’t be making 3 or 4 different mixed pastries. I’ve got to stick with one and limit the baking of them to only 200 like Mr. Ansel did. These mixed pastries need to become the talk of my cul-de-sac, then street, then neighborhood, city, state, nation and world. What I’m saying here is that I WANT A SPOT ON JIMMY FALLON’S SHOW.
As soon as I hear from you, I’ll head to the store and buy a few hundred bags of flour. I can smell the money already. I can actually taste it. It tastes like sugar-coated, deep-fried money. (Hey, I think I have my fifth pastry idea: Dipped Dollars.) Mr. Ansel isn’t the only one that’s getting filthy rich on mixing up the pastries. More than one can play at that game!
If you can think of another pastry idea, I’ll consider giving you a cut of my immense profits.