Now, I’m no Lent expert. I’m not claiming that, so easy on the questions you have ready to throw my way. No, no…I just know a few things about it. I grew up going to a Methodist church. I’m pretty sure we gave things up for Lent? I know we didn’t receive an ash mark on the forehead on Ash Wednesday like the people received who went to the Catholic church down the road. But, obviously, any faith can give something up for Lent- ash mark on the forehead or not.
I remember when I worked at a hospital in the Texas Medical Center I would see people walking around with dark marks on their heads. I thought, “Huh. Where did they get that?” I later learned there was a church on the first floor.
As we all know, Lent is about making sacrifices- giving something up that you would rather not. Since these guidelines below may not be straightforward enough, I took the liberty to develop a list of things you are not allowed to give up for Lent. If you even go and try it, I will report you to someone important somewhere. Ohhhh, yes, I will.
According to my rules right here in my head, you are not allowed to give up the following activities for Lent:
#1 Brushing your hair with your right hand. Now, you may be right-handed and it may be a stretch to brush your hair with your left hand, but this is not sacrificial enough, I’m afraid. Thinking of something else.
#2 Brushing your hair at all. It is best that you brush your hair, if you have been brushing your hair before. If you are not a hair brusher, well, then giving up hair brushing wouldn’t make any sense. Please continue with your normal hair hygiene.
#3 Tap dancing. You are not a tap dancer. If you tell people in the elevator when they ask, “So, what did you give up for Lent?” and you say “Tap dancing”, this will be bad for you. You don’t even own tap shoes! You have never tap danced in your life! Only Sammy Davis, Jr. or Fred Astaire or Ginger Rogers or people like that could give up tap dancing. I mean, they could only give it up if it was something that was ultra important to them and it would be a sacrifice to go without doing it. You know what? Let’s just stop talking about tap dancing.
#4 Break dancing. Please see #3. If you don’t keep a flat piece of cardboard in the middle of your garage that you use every day because it means more to you than anything else, then let’s move on.
#5 YouTube. You know what? This actually might count. Give me some more time on this one. We watch an awful lot of YouTube around here.
#6 Going up or down stairs with your right foot first. This is just ridiculous. If you start going up the stairs with your left foot first during this time period, what if you trip and fall and break your leg and get a concussion and miss your dentist appointment? What good does that do for anyone? You might have cavities!
#7 Laundry. Wouldn’t that be nice? No one wants to stink at Easter, though. Keep washing.
You know what? I’m going to stop there. I could come up with 100 more ridiculous things, but…I think we all get the point here.
Speaking of Lent and the Easter season, I have something to pass on to you all. I received an e-mail on behalf of The History Channel’s “The Bible”. Over 13 million people tuned in to watch the first show in the series on Sunday night. That is incredible! That is a whole lot of people! We didn’t watch it that night, but we did watch some of it last night. My boys’ attention is not long, so we are watching it in short installments. No matter what your faith is, or even if you have one, I think the show is very valuable and very well done. I think it can be appreciated by people from all walks of life.
The show is produced by Mark Burnett and Roma Downey. Mark Burnett is the man behind Survivor. I saw his name flash up on the screen when I was watching The Celebrity Apprentice, too. (I just *cannot* get enough of Gary Busey.) He’s everywhere! (Not Gary Busey, unfortunately. Mark Burnett.) Roma Downey, of course, is the actress from Touched By An Angel. They have been married for five years.
The History Channel is providing one of you one of these companion books to the show:
• A Story of God and All of Us (HARDCOVER)
• A Story of God and All of Us (REFLECTIONS)
• A Story of God and All of Us (YOUNG READERS)
If you are interested in receiving one, just leave a comment below. You can tell me anything you want. Maybe you want to talk about what you like about the show. Maybe you want to tell me that you haven’t seen it. Maybe you want to say that you don’t plan to watch it and you want to list your reasons. If you are interested in checking out the clip countdown below, taking the Bible-Scene quiz or being a part of the “Tell 10 Challenge”, you can come back to tell us about that here, too. There are no rules on this one. One name will be chosen on 3/15/13 using random.org.
I am required to disclose that The History Channel sponsored the post. I received no compensation of any kind.