Alright, put down your marshmallow guns. No need to try to peg between the eyes with a huge white pillowy sugary thing just because I said I believe Big Foot is real. Maybe hear me out first?
There are lots of reasons I’ve been convinced lately that Big Foot is real. Here are just a few:
#1 Finding Big Foot. There’s a show on TV about finding Big Foot! We all know that there would never be anything on TV that isn’t true. Producers would never put a show on TV about finding this creature if the creature didn’t exist. No possible way. We record the show on our DVR. My son is obsessed with it. These guys look legit with their night vision glasses, lights on their hard hats, recording equipment, trucks, etc. The people just look smart, too, you know? Well, some of them. Why would they go through all of this trouble if this creature didn’t exist?
#2 “Big Foots”. Big Foot is so real that there is a proper and improper way to refer to the creature in plural form. Surely you don’t think there is ONE Big Foot hanging out somewhere, do you? The plural is not Big Feet, but Big Foots. Please note this in all future Big Foot conversations.
#3 My 8-year-old believes they exist. Do you really need anymore proof than that? He’s quite the authority on many different things, including the various light sabers carried by the Star Wars characters. For example, Qui Gon Jin’s light saber is much different than Luke Skywalker’s even though both use a light saber with a green light sometimes.
#4 There is a call. Would something that didn’t exist have a call? Come on, now. Of course not! Turkeys are real and there is such a thing as a “turkey call”. Ducks are real and there is such a thing as a “duck call”. There is a Big Foot call, so what does that mean, class? Here is my 8-year-old demonstrating the call below. If the video doesn’t work for you for some reason, know that it sounds like this, “WooooooooooooooHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! WooooooooooooHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”
#5 We saw him. I really shouldn’t say “we”. My 8-year-old said he saw him. We live in Texas. He said he saw him at this park in the video above. Just before my son said he looked into Big Foot’s calm, dark eyes, we observed evidence of possible Big Foot food (old McDonald’s wrappers), snooped around Big Foot nests (weeds…lots of weeds) and measured Big Foot footprints here and there (just because there was no clear outline of toes and whatnot doesn’t mean it wasn’t a footprint!). I’ll admit. I was skeptical at first, just like you. You can tell by this conversation.
“Hey, dude, I don’t even think Big Foot lives down here. They say he actually lives in places like the Blue
Mountains of Oregon, not along a creek here in Texas where it’s super hot. He
lives near Canada.”
“I saw him, though, Mom!”
“You did? Are you sure? I think he’d think it was too hot here. Maybe he was just visiting?”
“Yeah, probably. Which direction is Canada
It took me a while to figure out
which direction was north, but I finally did and showed him. (I’m about 99%
certain I got it wrong.)
“Okay, well, Big Foot walked in
that direction. He must have been heading back home. Yeah, he walked away. He’s
going back to Canada.”
(He’s going back to Canada,
Canada, Canada. He’s going back to Canada…ooo, I don’t think so. LL Cool J
(Canada is 2,273
miles from here, which is likely a pretty far walk even for a creature with
really, really, really big feet.)
But, now? Well, I think this list makes it pretty obvious where I stand.
#6 This picture. Duh. Don’t even start with this “That’s a man in an ape suit” mumbo jumbo. Why would a person walk around in an ape suit? To fool us? Pshaw.
#7 This movie. Duh again. Would someone actually make a movie about something that wasn’t real? I’m not saying his real name is Harry. I mean, it may be Gus. Or, it may be someone in a costume pretending to be Harry or Gus. Either way, there has got to be a shred of truth in there somewhere.
#8 Audio clip. On Good Morning America in January 2013, an audio clip was
played of a mysterious sound coming from the swampy areas of the Blue Mountains
of Oregon. This sound is believed to possibly belong to Big Foots. Even though no sightings have occurred in connection
with the mysterious and repetitive screech, local residents are fearful to go
outside at night and many of them believe the screech does not belong to a
typical woodland creature. Who are we to question Oregonians, huh? Of course, it was Big Foots they heard!
#9 DK Reader books. These people are in the business of education. Would they really write a book about Big Foot if he wasn’t real? Don’t even start in with that money and profit and sales and publicity and money and money talk.
#10 Santa’s believes. After much dialogue, my son decided to end the mystery once and for all this past Christmas. He wrote a letter to Santa. If there is one person that can tell you if something is real or not, it would DEFINITELY be Santa. Here is my son’s letter:
|“Big Foot is real, right, Santa?” is what the little dude meant.
Santa said that, although he had never seen Big Foot himself, he totally believes.
So, that settles that.
Big Foot is real.
DO YOU BELIEVE??
(All joking aside, sometimes I really DO believe…)
Top Chef Update
For those of you following the Top Chef mania going on in all of my social media outlets, I just wanted to share that I am currently in the #1 spot! Yay! I don’t take that for granted, though. I am SO looking forward to the show tonight. Tonight is the first part of the Season Finale. The show will end next Wednesday. I know that the Oscars are on tonight, so set your DVR for Top Chef or vice versa. Both will be great! If you would like to see all of my Top Chef posts, you can go here.
I will be writing a recap/highlights post tomorrow and there will be more to come…
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