…I was asleep.
(Hold on! Don’t run off!)
I know I was asleep, but I didn’t feel asleep! I felt like I was RIGHT there with them both! I can remember the day with such clarity that I’m wondering if it actually did happen.
So, Jennifer and I were really good friends that day. We were actually BFFs, if you want to get technical. Ben and Jennifer are both 40. I’ll be 38 in April. My husband is 38 now. What more do we need in common with them?
So, the day I was at the Affecks’ house, Ben was home for the day and he was taking a shower.
“Ben! Kelley’s here! Don’t come out of the shower yet!” she yelled as she scooped up Samuel.
“Okay!!” He yelled. “Hey, Kelley!”
“Hey, Ben!” I called back.
(The door was closed. I didn’t see anything. Where is your mind?)
So, I followed Jennifer around and we talked about this and that. You know, things that BFFs talk about. I guess Violet, 7, was at school and Seraphina, 4, was at preschool. As I walked around, I just was in awe about how plain there house was in comparison to what I had imagined it to be.
There were no pictures on the walls.
No fancy furniture.
“Hey, Jennifer. Are y’all going to fix that carpet?”
Their carpet was all wrinkled like a Shar-Pei in their living room. And it was dark green.
“Oh, yeah. We’ve got to get someone to stretch the carpet. It’s hard to find time to do everything, you know?”
“Oh, girl, do I ever?”
And then we giggled.
(BFFs always giggle.)
That wrinkled carpet made me like the Afflecks even more! If their carpet could be messed up, it didn’t make me feel as bad about the chipped paint in the pantry and the crushed Goldfish cracker that’s been just in front of the sink for about 3 days straight!
And then I woke up.
(Any dream interpreters want to analyze this one?)
I know it’s not super exciting, but it was a REAL dream and I think about it whenever I see them on TV. I feel like we know each other or something. They’re just the BFFs that never call enough. Or ever. Doesn’t everyone have BFFs like that?
But, seriously, I love reading about Ben and Jennifer. They make it work. If I ever hear that they are getting a divorce, I will be crushed. I get crushed about divorces all the time. I have known so many people, neighbors, friends and family members that have gotten divorced in the last few years. A couple we know well just shared that they were getting divorced.
I can hardly stand it.
I remember thinking I would die if my parents ever divorced when I was little. The thought terrified me. I didn’t want to imagine living with only one parent. I loved my parents equally. I couldn’t stand the thought of not seeing both of them every day.
I would be devastated if it happened now.
I know children adjust. I know people try to make marriages work and sometimes they just don’t.
But, I hate it big time.
I remember I once had a conversation with someone (I’m keeping things vague here) that had already been through one divorce. (She is now divorced again.) She told me, “Divorce isn’t as glamorous as people think.”
I thought that was a really weird comment. Who thinks divorce is glamorous?
I sure don’t. They make my stomach hurt.
My parents have been married 41 years this year. I want to go the long haul, too. Marriage is hard. There is no doubt about it. We all probably feel like selling our spouses on Craigslist now and then. Sometimes marriages are harmful and need to be ended. Sometimes spouses do things that sever ties that cannot be connected again.
But, if there is any glimmer of hope for a marriage, I want it to survive.
I know we all do.