This isn't a foodie blog. It's a humor blog, but lately it's been a mix of foodie and humor. (Isn't "foodie" sort of an annoying word?) I have been Top Cheffing all over the internet lately, I know. The show will end in just a few weeks. On the show Wednesday night (you are watching it, right??), they cooked salmon. This would not be as interesting to me if my cousin was not a salmon fisherman in Alaska. During our conversation this week, he shared things with me about salmon that I didn't know. I thought maybe some of you would be interested, too, so I decided to write it up.
#1 They smell their way back home. Honestly, I didn't realize fish could smell. I don't see a nose. I'm sure they must smell through their gills or something. I'll Google that one day.
#2 They live in both salt and freshwater areas. That's crazy, right? So glad sharks aren't that way or someone would lose a leg every summer during their vacations at the lake.
#3 They decompose their skin to use for energy to fight the current back. Now, that's just sick. Decompose. Honestly, I wish I had never typed that sentence out.
#4 Less than 1% of the eggs they lay actually survive to reproduce. What? Poor salmon moms! They do all of that work for nothing! I guess if we want to get a little gross and scientific here, human mothers lay "eggs" every month that don't result in a pregnancy. Not sure what the percentage is, but I'm sure it's low. (Will you forgive me for bringing up the M word?)
#5 Small salmon are referred to as "fry". I feel so important knowing that word now. "Yes, I'd like to order your salmon AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT SERVING ME ANY FRY!!" The waitress will be very confused and I will have to condescendingly educate her about salmon terms.
#6 Less than .1% (point one!) stray from their original home. They can swim wherever they want in a big, vast ocean and they stick by the same general area at the end of the day. Maybe they watched too much Finding Nemo and got scared to venture off?
#7 They typically travel the equivalent of a marathon each day. Insane. Salmon make me feel lazy. On top of that, they can jump almost 6.5 feet out of the water and...right into a bear's mouth. Crazy fish.
#8 You can catch all five types of salmon at once, but it's not likely because they have different timings. Also, there are five types. Before Top Chef this week, I had no clue there were five types of salmon.
#9 Chum salmon are the poorest quality salmon. (The rating is chinook, sockeye, coho, pink and then chum.) Sheldon made his dish using chum salmon this week. Padma informed him that the locals use this type of salmon to feed to the dogs. Being the master chef he is, Sheldon made that chum salmon taste delicious. Of course.
#10 Atlantic salmon is farmed and is NO GOOD. This is according to my cousin, who has access to all the wild salmon he could possibly want. "Atlantic salmon" is the kind of salmon you see in grocery stores. That's interesting, too, right? I'm not even sure if grocery stores around here carry the fresh, wild salmon.
Because my cousin catches SO MUCH SALMON each year, they eat a lot of it. His wife made me laugh when she replied back with the ways that they look to cook it. She said she was afraid of sounding like Bubba from Forrest Gump:
"Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it."So, I asked him how he makes his salmon. I wanted to know if he made it like the talent at Top Chef makes it. The picture below is "Smoked Salmon, Forbidden Black Rice with English Pea and Parsnip Puree". (I have never IN MY LIFE made anything with parsnip. I have heard of it. What is it??)

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As I suspected, he doesn't. He said that he LEAVES THE SKIN ON (this is something that I am struggling with) and typically cooks it in foil with brown sugar and onions. Yum! His wife likes to make it with a dill & rosemary seasoning layered over it and then covered with slices of lemon. They have a friend that barbecues it with a sweet chili sauce or grills it smothered in mayonnaise and onions. When I brought up salmon on my Facebook page, a few said they cooked it in foil with brown sugar, so I feel I have no choice but to try it that way.
On the show this week, Sheldon cooked his with a pea soup. There is obviously salmon paired with a pea puree up there, so maybe peas and salmon are good together. They make a good couple. The winner of that challenge, though, was Brooke who made "sockeye salmon and seafood broth with mustard seed caviar and grilled dill sourdough". I don't know if I would go as far as the caviar, but I will try her recipe for the poached salmon in the seafood broth. Michael Voltaggio shares her recipe in a video here.
Do you like salmon? How do you cook it? Did you learn anything you didn't know about salmon from the list up there? Did you know salmon could smell??
I am required to disclose that I am a Bravo-sponsored blogger. All opinions are my own.
























26 comments:
My husband and I love salmon. We eat it at least once a month of so. We like it grilled with garlic seasonings and olive oil. It might be cool to see how people in different areas eat their salmon; we are in North Carolina and a lot of people eat it the way we do. Oh an no skin..even though my 9 year old is a fan of the skin..he is weird!
I tried to leave a comment earlier, and it didn't take, so will try once more. We do like salmon, usually grilled. You had me laughing with this list, and I snorted at #4. Poor salmon, though, I have more sympathy for them now.
That's weird that you couldn't comment before! So glad you can now. :) Ha! I started thinking about how long it took me to get pregnant and I started feeling less and less sorry for those salmon.
Your 9-year-old is a fan of the skin?? That is so interesting! Yeah, I agree it is interesting to see how people in different parts of the country eat it. I'm thinking my cousin up in Washington (the Alaskan fisherman) must eat it the best way. I've got to try that brown sugar with it! I like the idea of garlic seasonings and olive oil, too. I don't like messing with the skin, but my cousin is adamant I not take it off first!
My dad was a Alaskan salmon fisherman too. He's since retired but I ate a ton of it growing up. I have a few cousins that fish up there still. Out of Cordova.
When I cook salmon I usually cover it with lemon slices and capers and then wrap it in foil and bake.
For real? I don't know where my cousin fishes in Alaska. I will have to ask him. You live in Oregon, don't you?? I just remembered that. (I think.) My cousin lives in Washington, near Ilwaco. (I think I have that right, too.) I think the foil is the key. Do you have a particular kind of salmon you like to buy/eat?
I new a few of those - but the only reason I knew 9 was because of Sponge Bob Squarepants. *hangs head in shame*
Yup, living in Oregon. My dad would travel up to Alaska for the salmon season but then be back in Oregon the rest of the time.
I typically just buy whatever is at the super market and is not too spendy, although occasionally I'll get the spendy stuff. Otherwise I typically don't have too much of a preference. For me it seems like the actually cooking/seasoning of it is more important than the kind when it comes to taste.
That made me laugh! I haven't seen that episode but I can imagine how it might have played out.
The Chum bucket...haha!
We eat a lot of parsnips over here. They are like white carrots that have a slight licorice flavour. They are okay, but I prefer other root veg. I wonder what type the salmon is that we eat here in England? hmm....pretty sure it isn't Alaskan!
I didn't know any of this about salmon, and have been to scared to try to cook it because I was pretty sure I'd mess it up, but you've inspired me to give it a try! My husband loves it, so he'll be happy.
Sigh. I have tried so hard to like salmon. I feel as though I SHOULD like salmon, as if I am not a proper grown up because I cannot bring myself to eat it.
Oh, well. I have found that most things having to do with being a grown up are highly overrated anyway.
Those ARE interesting things. I knew a few, but I did not know salmon could smell. I did learn last week on Top Chef that Chum was the lowest of the low when Padma said the people feed it to their dogs. But then I thought those are some spoiled, entitled, bratty dogs! I can't believe anyone feeds salmon to dogs. I hear of all sorts of crazy things on Top Chef. Like ramps. Remember when ramps were all the rage? W/ Casey, right? I still don't know what the hell those are but I like to go around feeling superior b/c I've heard of it.
EXACTLY. :)
The same way they always play out: Squidward gets mad, Mr. Krabs wants money, SpongeBob is annoying, Patrick is stupid, but in THIS one, Plankton explains chum. :)
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