A Funny Take On Top Chef Seattle, Episode 10


One of my favorite things about Top Chef Seattle, besides getting to review it here, here and here, is that my husband watches it with me. We pause it constantly to make comments. This is what you would have heard if you had been sitting on our couch watching last night’s  10th episode, “Battle Before The War”:

Content and/or other value provided by our partner, Bravo.

(I try, anyway.)

  • “So, Padma was a chef? She is a beautiful and she is a chef. Who would want her?” *husband gets elbowed in his side
She’s not beautiful, right? Not at all, right?

  • “What happened to Padma’s arm? You’ve never even noticed that have you, Kelley?” My husband likes to pride himself in being more detail-oriented than I am. (See why I haven’t sold him on Craigslist yet.) But, well, okay, I hadn’t noticed it before he pointed it out. You can see a scar on her right arm and, according to Wikipedia, this is how she got it:

In 1984, when she was 14 years old, Padma was in a car accident in Malibu, causing an injury to her right arm that required surgery, which left a 7-inch scarbetween her elbow and shoulder. The incident took place on a Sunday afternoon as Padma was being driven home from a Hindu temple in Malibu. She remembers a flash of orange, looking over to see the large car upon her. Padma describes the event in the April 2001 edition of Vogue, saying, “Being in a car crash was like an exhilarating hallucination, an unbelievable moment that oddly remains one of the most beautiful images in my memory.” The car left Padma with injuries that included a fractured right hip and a shattered upper right arm.

    • “Ohhhhhh, they’re [majorly, big time, in a huge way] plugging Canada Dry and Wolfgang is making them cook with ginger [in only 15 minutes!] because Canada Dry is GINGER ale! Ohhhh!!” My husband looks at me for a while in disbelief that I just put that together. (The worse part of the whole cooking with ginger thing was when Kristen said “knobs of ginger”. Hands down.)
    I have never had a Canada Dry.
    • “Don’t you think that Kristen sort of looks like Elvis? A better cooking Elvis?” asked my husband.

    • “Awwww! Wolfgang was so mean to Sheldon! He said his food was like a CHEAP Chinese restaurant’s. CHEAP. Awwww, Sheldon!”

    • “Kristen and Brooke win everything.” (Brooke won the Quickfire Challenge with her…what was it again? It was something with squid. Squid with ginger. It had a much fancier name, though. They always do.)

    • “When Padma comes in there smiling like she’s in a shampoo commercial and says, ‘Times up, spoons down’, everyone should throw their spoons at her.” That was my husband. Of course, it was. (He meant toss them. No hard throws here. No spoons up against her nose or anything.)

    • “I bet if someone ran up and tackled Padma as she walked in, she’d stand up really quickly and say ‘Let’s get started’ with a huge smile on her face like nothing had even happened.” (Also my husband.)

    • “There is never any food on the plate.” (Husband again.)
    (The gold chains are how it would translate in cost, of course. As a good rule of thumb, you should never wear 6 gold dollar-sign chains to a Top Chef-esque restaurant. Or probably ever.)

    • “What’s camembert?” (Soft, creamy, surface-ripened cow’s milk cheese, according to my close friend, Wikipedia.)

    • “What’s canderli?” (An Italian dumpling. Lizzie made it. They didn’t like ’em. At least Wolfgang loved her watermelon and ginger soup during the Quickfire challenge.)

    • “What in the heck is CRISPY SPECK??? And can you make it soft?” (Okay, the Internet told me it is a cured meat commonly used in Northern Italy. Another one of Lizzie’s gems. Also, not sure it can be served soft. Probably.)

    • “That lady really gets ticked off about her herbs, doesn’t she?” (Don’t even get her started about matzo balls.)
    Not Gail Simmon’s exact quote. Let’s not get too technical here.
    Original photo source

    In the end, Micah had to pack up his knives and go for trying to go with the “raw” concept in the wrong way. Danny Meyer, “the best restauranteur in America” (Josh’s quote), was one of the judges and said that Micah didn’t bring anything new to the table. The dishes the judges loved belonged to Josh, Kristen (of course!) and Sheldon. Kristen and Sheldon were the top two and will be heading up the teams in Restaurant Wars next week. Kristen made onsen egg with camembert mustard sauce and buttered radishes for the restaurant she’s calling “Atelier Kwan” and Sheldon made sour tamarind soup with pork belly, shrimp and snapper (a family recipe) for the restaurant he’s calling “Urbano”, which is his grandfather’s name.

    Can’t wait!

    What were your favorite parts of the show last night?

    One more thing…
    Remember to save your favorite chef by voting via Twitter! This week we have the option of saving Kuniko or Micah. You just go to Twitter and use the hashtags #savechefkuniko or #savechefmicah and your vote will be counted.
    Also, I will be hosting a Twitter chat for @BravoTopChef on Tuesday, January 15th from 12:00 to 12:30 Central (that’s 1:00 to 1:30 in NYC). I would LOVE for you to chime in with your thoughts. Follow me on Twitter at @kelleysbreakrm and search for the hashtag #TopChef. It will be fun AND I will be giving Top Chef swag away!


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