I know I need to expand my horizons. I know it. Chili's, Lupe Tortilla's and Olive Garden need to cease being restaurants that I look forward to eating at on the weekends. It's not like I haven't eaten at plenty of Top Cheffy restaurants. I have, especially since my sister became a fancy eater. She only eats organic, free-range things and when I go out to eat with her, we rub elbows with the sophisticated people of the world. (Next time I'm at one of those places, I'm going to tell them I bought camembert cheese once.) When the menu comes, though, I frantically comb it for something recognizable. Something normal. Something normal with a twist.
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But, there are some things I just won't eat.
All of those things are alive and well on Top Chef. Well, not alive. Thank goodness. (That will probably be on next week's episode. Cooking with living animals.)
How about you? Do you eat these??
#1 Frog legs: Brooke's version of "Surf & Turf" (which totally takes me back to Steak 'n Ale in 1985) included frog legs and mussels. I have never, ever eaten a frog leg and I just don't think I will. Why would I order frog legs when there is chicken on the menu, especially if you tell me frog legs taste like chicken?
#2 Mussels: See above. I'm pretty sure I've had mussels in something before, but if you walked up to me and said, "Hey, want to eat a mussel?", I would decline. I would decline and ask you where I might be able to find a Chick-Fil-A.
#3 Anchovy acciughe: Huh? Lizzie made this for her dish presented to the patrons of QSine- the restaurant on the cruise. Okay, so "acciughe" actually means "anchovy" in Italian. Well, anyway, I don't want to eat it. We once ordered a Caesar salad that was made tableside. That waitress chopchopchopchopchopped up some anchovies into the salad and I ate that, so no need to look at me like I'm some type of unsophisticated peasant. (While we are on the subject of Lizzie, I don't appreciate that the camera crew showed her butchering a pig. Have they no concern for my well-being? A pig just about decapitated on national television. Unbelievable. Brought me back to 8th grade Biology when I had to dissect a pig. For weeks. The same pig. Okay, I'm going to need to get Pepto-Bismol in an IV STAT.)
#4: Iceberg lettuce: Just kidding. I love iceberg lettuce! When I make a salad at home, I will often combine iceberg lettuce with other lettuce. I will eat it in tacos. I will eat it on a hamburger. I will eat it at P.F. Chang's for a lettuce wrap. I will eat it in a boat. I will eat it with a goat. I will eat it in a house. I will eat it with a mouse. I can't say the same for Sheldon. During the Quickfire Challenge, they were asked to make a dish with iceberg lettuce. They all laughed like they were kings and queens or something! Kings and queens, I tell you! Sheldon said it is the most boring lettuce that makes a lame salad and a pathetic taco filling. Well, well, well. Excuse us over here asking for another salad refill at Olive Garden, Mr. Fancy Pants! (Sheldon, by the way, ending up winning that challenge.)
#5 Hot iceberg lettuce: Not kidding with that one. Curtis Stone (hello!), who was the guest Quickfire judge last night, said that lettuce can be cooked. Stefan actually cooked the lettuce for his dish. If you came up to me and said, "Hey, want to try some cooked lettuce?", I would say "What's that?" and then run off. And then trip. I always trip.
#6: Chicken hearts: During Last Chance Kitchen, Kristen and Stefan had to make a dish with an organ or combination of organs. ORGANS. ORGANS. ORGANS. Gross. Honestly, though, Kristen made chicken hearts, pan fried it and served it with some salad and fruit. I might eat that if I went to a restaurant and there was ONE thing on the menu: CHICKEN HEARTS. Okay, no, I would actually leave and go across the street to Pei Wei.
#7 Cow tongue: Stefan made "Beuscherl of Innards with Cream Sauce, Bread Galette, Liver, and Parsley Salad". Did you see the word "innards"? He said he was going to make the broth with cow tongue. No, no, no, no, no way, Jose. Not this lady.
#8 Chicken liver: See above. Innards. Organs. Not happening. Also, that'll be enough of the words "pork belly". Stefan made his dish during the Elimination Challenge with pork belly and made it very, very, very, teeth-shattering crunchy. Crunchy pork belly. Ick. My husband likes to eat Fried Pork Skins and I like to run really fast in the other direction.
#9 Tripe: See above again. Not it!
#10 Menudo: This is a hot item here in Texas and I'm not talking about Ricky Martin's Spanish singing boy band, mijo. Talking about comida here, gente. Lots of menudo is being stirred over stoves all across the Texas landscape. Not. Happening. Mamacita. It is made with beef STOMACH. (Where's my Pepto Bismol?)
How about you? Would you eat all of these things??
The battle is now between Stefan and CJ, since Kristen beat Stefan in Last Chance Kitchen. Which one do you think should stay around and possibly win the whole competition?
|Image from here. (My modifications.)|
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