What kind of family do you have?
When you see them tomorrow, will you sit around and hear lots of forks clinking on the plates? Will someone shout that they drive a Dodge Stratus? (See Will Ferrell yelling about a Dodge Stratus here.)
If your family is like mine, there are lots of different people that make up the whole deal. There are loud, quiet, funny and serious people all in the mix. And one person can be all four at any given time. That's why Thanksgiving is so much fun! You all get together and get to see how all of those people interact a few times a year. (Right?)
Sometimes, though, the interacting needs a little something something. A little spice. A little jump-start. If you sense a lull coming on, you are going to need to be prepared. You are going to need to be the jump-starter, since you are reading this post right now. Think of yourself as Cedric the Entertainer, but put your name in place of Cedric. (And maybe change hats to match your shirt?)
What are you going to do?
How are you going to get this party started?
Here are a few ideas:
*Pull out the extendable fork: This is one of my Dad's favorite tricks. We got the fork from Restoration Hardware one Christmas. It looks like a real fork, but...hold on! Wait a minute! That fork extends up to 300 feet! You can reach your neighbor's neighbor's neighbor's piece of pumpkin pie with it! The problem with this trick is that once it's been seen, the show's over. Everyone knows you are about to go all extendable fork on them and they won't laugh as hard when you try to steal their sweet potatoes.
*Tell the hostess that you've got the dishes but then disappear: This is a really funny joke, right? You make everyone think that you are going to be Most Helpful Family Member, but then you somehow weasle out of it? See, this way you get to appear to be selfless while really being selfish. For a complete list of ways to get out of the Thanksgiving dishes, you must watch Katy in a Corner's short v-log here. You guys, I laughed out loud many times throughout the short clip. You'll love her!
*Perform a "magic trick": One of my very favorite magic tricks involves getting a stack of cards, asking your friend or family member to "Pick a card, any card" and then asking them to put it back in the stack anywhere they please. Once all of that serious business has been taken care of, I go through the entire stack, one card at a time, while asking, "Is it this card?" (Draws a new card.) "Is it this card?" (Draws a new card.) "Is it this card?" (Draws a new card.) "Is it this card?" (Draws a new card.) "Is it this card?" (Draws a new card.) "Is it this card?" (Draws a new card.) "Is it this card?" (Draws a new...okay, you get it by now.) Eventually, you will get to their card unless they walk away or squirt you in the face with a fire extinguisher first.
*Pretend someone is playing charades when they're really not. Pick a family member, preferably one that is napping, and yell out, "I got it! I got it! You are pretending to be napping so you get out of family conversation AND the dishes! Okay, my turn!" This will go over really well, I promise. How could it not?
*Put someone on the spot (that can take a joke). When there is a lull around the table, I like to interject with, "So, Granny, are you going to show us all that dance you've been working on all week? Mom said you were working on a dance for us." It doesn't have to be a dance. You can mention a song that she's been practicing, a piano tune, her uncanny impersonation of Lady Gaga...whatever. It's great fun to see the reactions to this one.
Sometimes you don't need a prank for the laughs. One time during a very quiet, serious Thanksgiving prayer, I knew someone who let out a little, um, how shall I say it...toot. The rest of the family had to act as if nothing was heard, but it was impossible not to hear it, of course. The prayer quickly concluded, but no one mentioned it. Well, no one except the 6-month-old baby who mimicked the sound immediately afterwards with her mouth. Heh. Larious.
But, sometimes you do need a few tricks up your sleeve to get the party started. There are many other ways to make Thanksgiving Pranksgiving besides what I mentioned up there. Maybe you have some suggestions? Share! Share! Share!
So glad you guys are back to link up funny posts you have written! Remember that your link will show up here and over at My Life and Kids. Make sure you enter the name of your blog post in the "name" slot of the linking tool.
Sharing Favorites!Paige Kellerman of PaigeKellerman.com will be sharing her favorite posts all week long. Be sure to follow her to see if she gives your funny post a shout out!
Most Clicked Links from Last Week#1 - How to get your wife to have sex with you Cloudy, With a Chance of Wine
#2 - Exploding Possums and the Like La Tejana
#3 - Don't Drink the Water Funny is Family
#4 - Stupid Target Baby Wipes Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine...
#5 - The Berenstain Bears: B**** PLEASE Toulouse and Tonic