And my husband is outside still packing stuff into our “pod” and UHaul truck at 10:45 at night while I’m engaging in a little social media, which I have grossly neglected. Feeling a bit guilty, but only a bit because he slept in later than me this morning. (I have actually neglected social media so much recently that my Twitter followers are hitchhiking their way off my page as we speak.)
Right now my world is moving, finding a house, packing, figuring out how to load tape into a tape “gun”, being torn between packing dishes or popping bubble wrap the entire day, telling my sons they can’t ride their bikes all the livelong day and eating bad food because all of our dishes, pots and pans have been packed. That’s my excuse for shoving several onion rings into my mouth less than 2 hours ago, anyway. So, since I’m sort of the moving expert at the moment, you’ll take my word for it when I tell you about some things you don’t want to find when you’re moving, such as…
|All of these have to be moved tomorrow. Most of the ones in this picture are Christmas decorations. Oopsy-daisies.|
…a constable walking up your driveway because your 4-year-old and 7-year-old sons called 911. Not long ago, I showed them on my Pottery Barn rotary phone how to call 911. I did this on this phone because there was no need to push “talk” or “power” or anything fancy. So, they decided to try it out. It worked. My 4-year-old thought the constable was coming to arrest him for calling 911.
|This is where it all went down. It’s sort of a fake rotary phone that works.|
…yourself in the dark pod with a flashlight at 11:00 at night looking for the small black toolbox that you accidentally packed when your husband asked you to leave it out. You say that you did leave it out, but can’t find it, so you go to look for it. You come back in the house a few times with gadgets that you are told aren’t the right gadget, so you keep looking and finally find it on the floor of the pod hidden behind another box. Technically, it was left out because it wasn’t in a box. Your husband said that doesn’t count and that it wasn’t left out enough. You tell him that you are going to find a big box and pack him in it if he keeps talking about that blasted toobox.
…a ridiculed piano crying in the corner feeling unloved and really, really, really heavy. You try to console it and let her know that she is too dadgum heavy but that you love her just like she is… You assure her that you will play her again one day, even though you average a piano song about 2 or 3 times a year. You tell her that maybe your sons will learn to play her and that they may become the next Justin Timberlake or Jamie Foxx on the piano. You tell her she will be a celebrity in the upright piano world. None of it matters because she overheard your husband say he wishes she would fall into a deep lake.
Yeah, you don’t want to find those things, right? Especially that distraught piano. That’s heavy stuff. The topic is heavy. I don’t mean the piano is hea… Oh, hold on, y’all. She heard me and she’s crying again.
(That piano needs some counseling.)
Before I run off and start shoving Tupperware and Rubbermaid (who, by the way, are threatening to beat the living plastic out of each other soon) into boxes, I wanted to tell you that Linda from It All Started With Paint is debuting my post “The Very Frisky Masseuse: Should I Press Charges? (Kidding. Sort of.)” over at her blog today. If you have not read it or have not visited Linda’s blog before, you might want to do that! You can learn about masseusesseseseseses that get fresh while also being inspired by Linda’s awesome decorating talents. I wish I could move to her house…
It’s also “Finding the Funny” today, so link up your new or old humor posts! We would love to laugh at your stuff! I promise that I will be back to reading the posts and leaving comments as soon as I move out of this house! I seriously miss your faces.
Most Clicked Links from Last Week
#1 – I Almost Crapped My Pants in an Elevator. Twice. Let Me Start By Saying…
#2 – Hillbilly Hygiene: Commonplace Crazy Commonplace Crazy
#3 – This blog is so awesome it farts unicorns Wub Boo Mommy
#4 – Stuff People Say To New Moms Stroller Parking Only
#5 – Birthday Bargain Just Keep Swimming