And their horses.
|“Neigh! I didn’t neigh there was a river anywhere neigh by. Why have
you neigh-ver taken me here before?! You know I love rivers!
I’m neigh-ver talking to you again! Neigh-neigh-neigh-ver!”
The alternate title for this type of rain runner is “The Sleuth”. You see, this guy or girl takes extra wide, TIP-TOED steps. The tippy-toe walk is meant to preserve their shoes, apparently, and keep them from totally sloshing through rain puddles like a barbarian. Sherlock’s legs and tip-toes prance forward while the rest of his body follows seconds later. Sherlocks probably think they’re covering a lot more ground than the rest of us in a dignfied manner and are better than us all. If you must know, I noticed my husband was a Sherlock today.
I spotted The Forrest Gump in a parking lot just today during a rainstorm. Just the thought of it makes me laugh out loud and it’s been hours ago since I saw the dude. Think back to a heavily bearded Forrest running like the wind. Now imagine him running like that through a rainy parking lot, but even faster than he was running in the movie. The Forrest Gump wants to make it to his car in record time and he will hurdle over puddles, or maybe even shopping carts, like a dingdang Olympian to get there. He wants you to notice his speed, too. He wants you to be impressed.
The Paper Head always curses herself over forgetting her umbrella. (Most Paper Heads are women.) She is always thankful when she can find a newspaper or store ads to place just so over her mop. Back in the ’80s, there were Paper Heads EVERYWHERE, as the risk of damaging one’s Aqua Net-infused bangs were just too great without the presence of that paper. Paper Heads always feel REALLY dumb for running around with an 8 x 11 shield over their heads and usually fall into the driver’s seat looking like an elephant sprayed them with her trunk.
The Hot Mess doesn’t want to run too fast (she’s afraid she’ll fall), doesn’t want to hold paper over head (and she couldn’t find any anyway), refuses to tip-toe like a stinking detective (please!) and will not just stroll through the rain like the oblivious gentleman. No, what The Hot Mess does is run SHRIEKING through the parking lot and will sometimes flutter her arms like a newborn bird. Once inside her dry car, she will continue to shriek a little and will frantically look around for a towel, which she will not find. After a few minutes, she’ll post something on Facebook about the awful rain.