I like giving hugs and I like receiving hugs, but I like my hugs to be of a certain type and I give hugs of a certain type. I'm more high-maintenance than you thought, aren't I? I'm not? Rude.
Anyway, if I know you well and you try to pull one over on me that is not my preference, I will make you redo it. Basically, huggers fall into four categories, as you can see by the Venn diagram I created over at GraphJam.
I am most definitely a squeezer. A light squeezer. I have family that are also squeezers, but they're tight squeezers. After a hug from them, you check the pavement for organs they may have squeezed right out of you. (One time I found part of my spleen after a hug at a family picnic and had no clue what to do with it afterwards. I just threw it away and, surprisingly, have done well without it.) You also check for broken bones.
What I'm not is a patter or a smoother. No way, Jose. Or, as my grandmother has been known to say, "No way, Josie". I'm thinking she's thinking that's how you pronounce Jose?
No, you'll receive no back pats or smooths from me.
I'm not a fan of light touches.
I'm not a fan of someone tapping me lightly on the shoulder either. Icky, icky, icky. I will have to smooth that out with my hand once the tap is finished. Essentially, I'm wiping off tap-tap-tap residue on my shoulder. I like a firm hand placed on my shoulder or something. Or just call my name. Call it loudly, though, because I've got that lovely hearing loss thing going on.
Emily Maynard, the Bachelorette, is a smoother. You obviously know I watch the show since I wrote posts about why I'd be an awful bachelorette and why I'd also be an awful contestant on "The Bachelor". I've watched her give MANY hugs and she's smoothing backs out left and right. I'm pretty sure Emily, and other smoothers like her, think they are adding an extra dose of love to their hugs with their smoothing ways. If you give me a hug this way, I will appreciate it, but I will remember that you are a smoother.
Smoothing distracts me. I will wonder for a while after the hug if you meant the smoothing as a "there, there" or just as an extra dose of love.
Back patters make me feel like I'm being burped. Maybe all that friendly patting takes me back to days of babyhood when I had awful gas I couldn't get rid of on my own, so my mother had to pat the heck out of my back until I felt better. Maybe I'm also remembering days back then when I didn't have gas and she was still patting away anyway. It's not like I could have said, "LADY! I'M FINE! I DON'T HAVE GAS!!"
Back patters also seem to rush the hug. I don't want to stand in an embrace forever. Don't misunderstand me. I just want a genuine let's-hug-it-out moment without all the extraneous hand motions- patting or smoothing.
As for the show-off, they're patting and smoothing and squeezing all at once, which is absolutely impressive. That person wants you to remember you've been hugged by them. If the show-off would hug just a moment longer, you might feel like you've been given a mini-massage, which, let's be honest, would be kind of nice. I bet that Chinese masseuse that got a little frisky with me that one time is a major show-off hugger.
So, let's hear it. Which one are you?
Quick sidenote: I have a giveaway going on for a $25 Amazon gift card and 6-month trial to KidsEmail.org. Click here if you are interested in either one.
_____________________________
And now...
Anna and I were only going to do this link-up once or twice a month when we started, but we wanted to see what the response was like before we made a decision. That first week, so many of you linked up and there has been a steady flow of people sharing their funny ever since. We both seriously laugh out loud at your posts all the time and really appreciate that you make "Finding the Funny" a little part of your life!
Most Clicked Links from Last Week
#1 - I Never Wish My Kids Knew... The Mom of the Year#2 - I Take the Pill. Shhhh... Confessions of the ID
#3 - Now she wants a Hamster? Where's the cat? ODNT
#4 - I'm Not Sexy. And I Know It. The Spin Cycle
#5 - My Top 10 Fears for the Summer The Healthy Mom
See the Favorites!
Pish Posh is sharing her FIVE favorite posts from last week's party.
Visit Pish Posh to see if you were one of her favorites!
29 comments:
I'm a "stand there while the other person hugs me."
I'm a light squeezer...but I might get carried away if it is a friend I haven't seen in a while.
My dad is a tight squeezer and a he adds a lift and spin in there. Talk about SHOWOFF! :P
I'm a light squeezer while maintaining bodies in a strict A-frame formation. No body touching, thank you. Unless it's my kids, whom I squish mercilessly. Or my husband - I'll often pretend to hump his leg a little bit after a hug. Because I'm classy.
So. I just leaned over and hugged Twin B to find out what kind I am. Kel? I am MORTIFIED to say that I am a borderline show-off! Before I knew it, I was simultaneously squeezing AND patting the boy. Then...I caught myself mid-smooth. #HelpMe
I am a boob smoosher.
I'm kind of with Lady Goo Goo Gaga, except I just kind of hope my body language indicates that a hug shouldn't be an option. No touchy. But if it's family and I'm obligated--MOM--then I'm more of a light squeezer. If they linger, I might give a couple of pats just to kind of wake them up and hurry things along.
I'm a body crusher hugger- but only if I REALLY like you. Otherwise, I'm just awkward. Also, I don't like surprise hugs. Or hugs that turn into cheek kisses.
What kind of people do I know????
I am a total stand there and feel awkward hugger as well. With my close family I am a total snuggler, squeezer, love you up-er, but with friends and distant family, I really feel weird pressing my body up against you. (Now how can you wiggle that into your diagram?)
Before I got to the part where you mentioned Emily, I was thinking to myself, "the way Emily hugs sure does annoy me!"
It's been bugging me from the start! She smooths and pats and it is almost like she is hugging a child. That would drive me crazy lol!
I think I"m just a mild back squeezer. Not too light, not too hard. Perfect actually ;)
I'm a light squeezer. And I still think your post on the Chinese foot massage is THE funniest post I've ever read!
You forgot my class, the awkward hugger. Those of us who will do anything we can to avoid a hug until it is forced upon us and then get in and out as quick as possible. Not unlike, a ninja.
I'm a squeezer. And it can't linger too long, unless it's MIL who is saying goodbye to go back to her own state. I'll let her linger a bit longer. There's some smoothing going on there, too. PS.. I love that you make your friends do it over again. I'm gonna start doing that. That's fabulous!
Squeezer for sure.
Unless it's someone I don't really want to hug then I am an A-Frame Patter.
If I'm feeling super flirty I'm a from behind hugger bc boys like boobs on their back. Fact.
I'm a deer in the headlights, wanting to escape, but not sure how to go about it. I abhor hugs, unless they're from my kids. If cornered by a hugger, I prefer a light squeeze.
I hate a...um...person who rubs. Even if it's not in a hugging context. I want to knock them down and run away. The between-the-shoulders rub incites me to violence.
My kids refer to glomping - a mix of a hug and a tackle ;)
I'm a squeezer( lightly) with family.
And a barely touchable squeezer with everyone else.
I'm like Alison with the crushing. Or the awkward. lol
I always think of the scene with Billy Mack and his manager in Love Actually at those awkward hug moments.
We must come from the same stock of huggers. My family are definitely squeezers, if you are ever hugged by my brothers you'll be skinner and taller when they're through!
Yep I'm a squeezer!
I belong to the largest group--back patters, at least with guys. Sometimes with a female I'll give a very light squeeze.
I don't like light touches either. Yucky yucky yuck.
I'm a squeeze hugger but not with men not my husband. I'm Mexican so there is always hugging and a kiss on the cheek greeting. Boob smashing in that instance is just way too much. I don't wanna confuse my cousins. :)
This is hysterical! And makes me wonder...I'm kind of panicking that I might be a Patter, which means I've be inadvertently burping people for years...oh crap, must work on this...
I'm a squeezer. I don't mind the occasional pat, but the smoother weirds me out.
It really depends on who I'm hugging...
if it's someone close, I'm a squeezer :p
to someone older than me, I'm usually a smoother
and to someone I don't know that well, I'm a patter :p
I'm a total squisher when it comes to the diva. But anyone else, I'm ashamed to admit, I'm a little tap-tap light hugger. Unless I've had a little too much wine. In that case, I'll squishy hug anyone. :)
--I'm a rubber. I like rubbing arms, backs, and I will not say what else. Just kidding.
Anyhow, I have a great story about rubbing....My girlfreind is a Pastor's Wife, so she greets the congregation when they come into the church. A woman comes in and my friend rubs her tummy (idiot) and says, "Oooooh, when are you due?" and the woman says "Well, I'm not pregnant." My friend is so embarrassed and humiliated that she does not know what to do...so.....she just continues to rub her tummy.
Haaa Xxx
Oh, I squeeze.
I squeeze hard.
Not to brag, but I've been told I give excellent hug.
I don't want to make you sad with my comment, but I love REAL HUGS from people because we didnt' get them growing up.
My mother was clinically depressed and didn't talk to us, so, yeah, ummm...
I love real hugs.
I pat. And one of my daughters totally says, "Momma! That hurts!" So that's not good!
And then when I go out from the hug I'm a big arm squeezer. I do love to squeeze arms. Especially on guys! I have this thing about arms.
::sheepish::
So hilarious this post.
Post a Comment
Comments make me feel like I'm not talking to the wall. Don't get me wrong. I love talking to walls. Some of my best friends are walls. Still, I like hearing from you, so thanks!