My Top 7 Social Media Tips Wrapped Up In Fortune Cookies

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Those of us who invest a lot of our time each week into social media, whether it’s blogging, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Globbittron (totally made that up) or Zinnerista (that one, too), we may find ourselves getting disappointed every now and then. Perhaps we expected more from our efforts by this point or maybe we feel unappreciated, forgotten, not heard or like we have toilet paper stuck on the bottom of our shoes. (Actually, that last one isn’t a feeling, it’s the truth. Can you take care of that really quickly?)

I’m thinking if we social media types realized that we were sometimes all in the same boat, more or less, we’d feel better. If we realized that sometimes we all feel like what we’ve written reeks of pteryodactyl breath or rhino gas, we would give ourselves a break. We would just keep forging ahead and keep writing. In my attempt to get us to stop crying and contorting our face in a really unattractive way, *I started a fortune cookie business called Social Media Fortune Cookies. (I know. It is an extremely creative cookie name.) My top 7 cookies, out of the tons I slaved over baking and out of the tons of little slips of paper I slaved over typing (those little dadgum rectangles are hard to fit into a typewriter just right), are below.

*bold-faced lie

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We can pore over every detail of a blog post before we hit “send” and STILL miss a typo. So, this is to say that typos happen to us all. Some more than others. I’m looking at you, Reynold.

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Future versions of this cookie will have “Facebook status updates”, “blogs”, “the funny papers”, “your tattoos” and “The Greensheet”  instead of “tweets”. No matter which one it may be, sometimes we spend too much time doing it. Get some sleep, son! 

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This is totally my motto. I know that people don’t love everything I write on my blog, on my Facebook page and in my Twitter account, but…I really don’t care. That much. I mean, I care, but I write what I want to write ultimately, even if some of it smells like the Miami Heat’s armpits after their game last night combined with a few armpits from the Oklahoma City Thunder.

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We get hung up on likes, retweets, comments and stars (for those that favorite tweets on Twitter and use Favstar- a whole other topic).  We also get hung up on followers. Combine it all together and it still doesn’t even come close to measuring our worth as people, amirite?

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Though we may mean it MOST of the time, look me in the eye and tell me you haven’t written “LOL” when you didn’t actually laugh out loud. Come on now, folks! You can write LOL if you want, too, though, especially if you write it about anything I write. Hee, hee. Kidding, of coursenotreally.

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Actually, he wants the whole thing. If you don’t have a kid, that lady next to you totally wants a bite. Really, both just want you to give them some eye contact. We could probably all afford to take a social media break every now and then and, like, throw a ball to our kids. Or dogs. Or that co-worker in accounting who is fond of a good pick-up game of hot potato using a tennis ball from the bottom of one of her walker’s legs.
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If you are one of those that sprint to the dryer as soon as it finishes, then yay you. If you’re like me, you have some clothes in the dryer and they’ve been there for two days now. GET THAT MESS OUT!

That’s it for the cookies. For now. I realize they weren’t all related to social media and weren’t all really “tips”, but must I refer you to cookie #3? I’ll be rolling out more Social Media Fortune Cookies in the near future, but don’t look for them at any store near you because I’m making this all up, of course.  You never know, though, I just may bust out a little fortune cookie side business in the future at a busy intersection near you and go by the name Kelfucius.

Just so you know, these little cookies were inspired by the “Blog Tips” gathering movement over at The SITS Girls website.  You should totally go visit their place to see all of the fancy little tricks bloggers have up their puffy pink sleeves.

*Fortune cookie image from here.

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