“If you don’t know me by now (a song for my cleaners)”, not by Simply Red

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I’m not tight with my cleaners anymore.  The cleaners I used to have, well…we were close.  It’s just not the same at the new place.  I love it, though, because I can get in and out of there really quickly, but they lose my stuff and always ask the same questions, like  “DO YOU WANT STARCH ON HIS SHIRTS?” and “DO YOU WANT TO PICK UP YOUR CLOTHES, TOO?” (my favorite question ever- I usually respond that if the clothes are having a good time and are behaving themselves, they can stay a little longer). 

Knowing that we’ll never have the relationship that I enjoyed at my old cleaners, I found myself gazing out of the window of my car as I sat in the drive-through the other day and began singing this song by Simply Red to them below…just with different lyrics. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I got to the really emotional parts and remembered by old cleaners lady.  I caused quite a scene.  Customers were plugging their ears while yelling, “MAKE HER STOP!!!” Since the cleaners people never had even heard of Simply Red or this song in their entire lives and since the cry baby customers were plugging their ears, the cleaners people all grabbed wire hangers and poked me with them until I decided to drive off.

It went a little something like this…

If you don’t know me by now
you will never, ever, ever know me
oooooooooooooooo-oooooooooooo-ooo-oooo-ooooooo
All the things….

that’ve been cleaned by yoooou
you should understand me
after all, I’m paying you
you should know the difference
between me and Mr. Wong
I should be given nothing
that belongs in Mr. Wong’s home.
Ooooohhhhh, don’t get so excited!
When I say you didn’t clean my clothes right.
How am I gonna tell the father of my children
that his nice work shirt is pink and not white. OH!
If you don’t know me by now
(if you don’t know me!)
You will never, ever, ever know me
oooooooooooooooo-oooooooooooo-ooo-oooo-ooooooo
We’ve all got
our own funny mooooooods
I’ve got mine
Mr. Cleaners, you’ve got yours, too.
Just listen to me…as I trust my clothes to you
as long as we’ve been doing business together
that should be so eeeeeaaaaasy to do.

THERE’S SOMETHING THAT YOU SHOULD REMEMBER

or I might as well just say goodbye!!

I said no starch ANYWHERE!!!
How come you can’t get that right? OH!

If you don’t know me by now
You will never, ever, ever know me
oooooooooooooooo-oooooooooooo-ooo-oooo-ooooooo

(The end. You’re welcome.)
Do you ever sing at your cleaners?

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