Finding the Funny: Who's coming with me to Nashville to sing El Virus?

Welcome to our annual Break Room meeting! I asked all of you to bring your own chairs and you did! You are all so awesome. Such good listeners, all of you. If it were up to me, I'd give you all a promotion. Actually, it is up to me. (Sometimes I forget that this is actually a full-blown corporation.) Sooooo, I'm promoting you all to one of these positions: CEO, CFO, CDO, CYO, CGO, CTO, CRO (Caw! Caw!), CZO, CAO, C3PO, CLO, CNO, CXO (Chief Xylophone Officer. Duh.) and COO-COO. Take your pick! You should see the increase in your paychecks never. Welcome aboard!

Okay, let's get to business. We need to discuss FOUR things:

#1 Wally: I have been meaning to introduce you to him for the longest time. His primary responsibility is to order Pepto Bismol for the Break Room refrigerator. If you see him in the hallways, give him a high five! He's totally lame, but it would be nice if you invited him to lunch every now and then.

Lame Wally.  Source




#2 El Virus: I'm not sure if you have received a copy of my new version of Oak Ridge's boys 1981 hit, Elvira. We, as fellow Break Roomers, will be learning the song and will be performing it in front of the Oak Ridge Boys at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville this summer. We don't have anything set in stone yet, because, well, who really sets anything in stone anymore (we're not cavemen!), and the Oak Ridge Boys have no clue we exist, but don't think I'm giving up on this dream. Still waiting to be called back. It should happen any day now. I put the call in late last year, so I'm thinking it could be any day now when that phone rings. Practice those lines, y'all. There are only a few of them. Don't embarrass me. Oh! Our outfits will be khakis and very, very cheaply made orange and green polos- the Break Room colors, of course. I'm not rich, folks. This performance could change all of that, though. For all of us.

If you need a refresher on the tune, click that arrow:

                      


(That dude right there, the one that sings first, kind of looks a white Lionel Richie or maybe more like the Hall & Oates guy, right? You know, the one that never sang? The one that was like Rosie to Sophia Grace from The Ellen Show? Poor Rosie just sways to the music, kind of like that Hall & Oates dude did back in the day...)

Okay, back to business. Here are the lines you'll need to memorize to El Virus to be belted out either at the Grand Ole Opry or Dollywood, if our first venue turns us down:

Eyes that look like they're seeing seven, lips that are beggin' for wine
I'm a little girl that sure enough has a big headache on my mind
I get a funny feelin' up and down my spine
'Cause I know that El Virus is mine

So, I'm singing El Virus, El Virus
My head's on fire, El Virus
Giddy up Oom Poppa Oom Poppa OW OW!!
Giddy up Oom Poppa Oom Poppa OW  OW!!
I've (OH!!) got the shivers & I'm in pain!

Tonight I was eating at the Hungry House Cafe
And I said, "I'm eatin' all the food that I can!"
Then I started to jump and holler and had to run without payin' my dollars
'cause I started feeling really awful, got sick & had to find a trash can.

So, I'm singing El Virus, El Virus
My head's on fire, El Virus
Giddy up Oom Poppa Oom Poppa OW OW!!
Giddy up Oom Poppa Oom Poppa OW OW!!
I've (OH!!) got the shivers & I'm in pain!

Any men or deep-voiced women willing to take the solo on the "giddy up oom poppa oom poppa ow ow" lines? This is your chance to really shine, so don't let it pass you by.





#3 5 Words Every Mother Wants to Hear: I wrote this article for Parent Society. Some of you may be writing for them as well. I just had to tell you that, as of right now, over 800 people have shared it on Facebook. I am blown away. I have never had anything shared that much before. If you haven't read it yet and want to do that, you can click here.




#4 My Life and Kids Community: This is my most important announcement! I am joining 10 other bloggers in the "My Life and Kids Community" as a community leader. The widget for it is in the right-hand column. See it? Anna is the blogger behind "My Life and Kids" and is my co-host for "Finding the Funny". Today marks the kick-off for it! We are excited, as this community will be very interactive and full of fun discussions and whatnot. It will be a place that we all can get together to chat it up, especially those who love the funny. All of the community leaders make me giggle. It can be a place for you to meet new bloggers and for others to discover your awesomenessnessness. I hope you will consider joining us just because you wanna, but, as an incentive, we are giving away a $50 Amazon gift card. It is very easy to enter the giveaway. See that nifty little box below? That's how you enter. The mandatory entry is to join the community, but then you get an additional entry for each community leader's Facebook page you "like". Simple, amirite?


a Rafflecopter giveaway


Okay, that's it for the meeting. You all were exceptional. Please, walk over to the table behind that gigantic vending machine up there with the very, very, very, very large Coke in it and help yourself to a Lorna Doone.




____________________________________________

 And now...we want to read your funny.  New funny. Old funny. Any kind of funny. We would love to read it and go "hee, hee, hee" or "ha, ha, ha" or "ho, ho, ho" (for those that laugh like Santa). So, get to the stinkin' linkin'. Please.




Most Clicked Links from Last Week

#1 - Mother Earth will NOT Be Friending You on Facebook Random Handprints

#2 - Ladies Trim Your Bushes HouseTalkN

#3 - When Tea Parties Go Very Very Wrong Let Me Start By Saying...

#4 - Dollar Store? No More! Another Cookie Please

#5 - And I Thought Things Were Going So Well Melissa Camara Wilkins



10 comments:

robyn said... [Reply]

Great article at Parent Society - loved it!

Paige Kellerman said... [Reply]

I'm disturbed that Wally's phone is so disproportionate to the rest of his body. But, if he hasn't complained, we'll pretend he doesn't notice. Headed over to read your article!

In Real Life said... [Reply]

I just read your parent society article, it's awesome! :)
I had a similar situation in a grocery store line up, it was a long line and my son who was 18 months at the time was hot, tired, and cranky...he took a HUGE tantrum, and I could hardly blame him - but we needed those groceries. Nothing I tried calmed him down. I was feeling embarrassed, ducking those disapproving looks from other shoppers, and like a complete failure. Then a lady marched over from two lanes down and I thought, "UH OH", she's going to give me a lecture, or useless advice or something. She smiled kindly, put her hand on my shoulder, and said, "It's ok dear, we've all been there." - My eyes were stinging with tears of relief. That moment has stuck with me, I don't know if she knew what an tremendous effect her kindness has had on me.

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said... [Reply]

So it's been a few hours now since I first read this post and I just noticed that I still have that Elvira song stuck in my head. And I didn't even watch the video.

We must not let this song fall into the wrong hands.

Kim Brison said... [Reply]

Loved your article...and so excited about the community....AND thankyou for hosting finding the funny! xoxo-Kim

TV's Take said... [Reply]

You are rockin' the bloggy world! I'm strolling over to check out all your amazing work.

The Flying Chalupa said... [Reply]

I WILL take a Lorna Doone - thank you!

You are movie' on up, my friend, and I couldn't be more proud.

Also, that guy totally did look like Lionel Richie?

And also, I will perform any song with you.

ISRAEL CARRASCO said... [Reply]

You are killing it in the blog world!. Congrats. You are inspiring me to not be lazy. You are very talented. Keep it up!

Crystal Pistol said... [Reply]

700 FB shares?! Holy moley! Congrats! :)

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