Well, I know someone that did something similar to that guy back when I was in college in 1995. With the fame that guy received after that movie and now all of the episodes of “I Survived” that I never, ever miss on the Biography channel, this girl I know is trying to get famous off her story now.
She will never get all famous by me just telling her story here in the Break Room, but I thought I would at least give her a shot. Honestly, I don’t want her to get too famous because I don’t like her. At all. The incident that she is hoping propels her to super stardom happened right in my house. It’s just that if she’s famous over something that happened at my house, I’m hoping that I will get a piece of the pie, too, you know? Maybe an interview on the OWN channel or something? MAYBE I WILL GET TO BE ON “I SURVIVED”, TOO????
Before we go any further, let me show you her picture. In the snapshot below, she is singing the Diana Ross song that she adapted to tell her story. And, yes, she is singing the nasty lyrics about me.
Here she is:
Isn’t she ridiculous? Have you EVER seen a mouse with diamond studs? Word on the streets is that the mice community absolutely loves her song and are tripping over their four feet left and right buying her single. They’re too stupid to know Diana Ross did the song first. They think Fran Mouse (now “P!nk”, which, again, the stupid mice don’t know already exists) up there came up with the lyrics all by herself. They’re throwing money at her like it’s their own and not stolen from the houses they infest day after day. P!nk doesn’t care. P!nk pockets that money anyway.
The short story is this: Fran Mouse (there is only one P!nk to me) tried to get in the pantry of our apartment where my roommate and I had laid some of those sticky traps. We had suspicions that Fran and her kind were scurrying about in there when we weren’t looking. One morning we got up and saw evidence that Fran Mouse had been on a sticky trap…and had escaped. Fur. Bl– You know what? I don’t want to even go into it. You could be eating some oatmeal while reading this for all I know. I want to be the LAST person to ruin your oatmeal-eating experience.
But, yeah, Fran Mouse escaped. Her instincts for survival kicked in making her realize it was better to lose a paw (Oh, no! Your oatmeal!) than to sit on that dang trap until my roommate or I found her. Amazingly, she healed and is still around 17 years later trying to tell her story.
If she wants to get FILTHY rich, she’s already halfway there.
It’s that time of the week again! Anna and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE reading your funny stuff. Anything you link up will show up here and over at Anna’s blog, “My Life and Kids”. It’s always fun to see new faces and awesome to see people returning week after week. You can link up anything you’ve written recently or in the past. If you talk about it on Twitter, please use the hashtag #findingthefunny. Thanks, y’all!
Most Clicked Links from Last Week
#1 – The Scare in the Laundry Room Random Handprints
#2 – Extreme(ly Depressing) Makeover Confessions of the ID
#3 – That Kind of Day Melissa Camara Wilkins
#4 – My Marriage Proposal Abby Has Issues
#5 – TIE – Spring Break Now & Then: 12 Similarities Honest Mom
#5 – TIE – Why Husbands Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Have Hobbies Hollow Tree Ventures