There has been sadness in my life this week. I know sadness is nothing new. Lots of things are sad, but, as you might have read in my "about the janitor" page, I don't typically focus on sadness in this blog. I don't really want to do it now either.
But I am.
My uncle passed away yesterday.
The uncle that used to count my freckles to see how many boys I had kissed when I was, like, seven years old. It used to be make my face turn bright red.
The uncle that always called me Kel-Kel. I loved that.
The uncle that always had wise words for me. He would laugh and laugh and then get real serious with some wisdom.
The uncle that loved to hold my baby boys. He'd put them on his stomach and they'd sleep there so peacefully.
The uncle that I loved to hug.
The uncle that wasn't feeling good for many years, but it still breaks my heart that he is gone. It breaks my heart that I didn't call more. That I didn't visit more. He lived in Florida with my aunt and cousins. We are in Texas. Still, I could have called more.
I didn't.
That breaks my heart. This morning when I rolled over to snuggle with my warm husband, my heart broke for my aunt who cannot snuggle with her husband anymore. She can't feel his warmth anymore. There is no more warmth.
There are no more phone calls and words of wisdom to be spoken directly to his sons. To his grandkids. To his many brothers and sisters. The out loud kind. The ones he has spoken already will stay with them inside. I know that. I'm grateful for that.
I know death is natural. I know it is a normal part of life. I know we will all die. I have a deep faith and know that this is not the end.
Still, it breaks my heart.
This weekend, I will travel with some family to Florida. My sons and husband will stay behind for various reasons. I know they would all love to be there to support my aunt, but, for this time, it is best that I go on my own. I know it is just a few days that we will be apart, but...my heart breaks over leaving them, too.
So, as you might imagine, tears have stung my eyes on many occasions over the past couple of days. Hot tears. Tears that spring up out of nowhere.
My heart hurts. My heart hurts over other people's hearts hurting worse.
So, no silliness in the Break Room today. I am sorry. I will be back with laughter in my voice next week.
Love on the ones you love this weekend. Squeeze them extra tight. Call them and tell them so. Let them know you appreciate them.
(I appreciate all of you. Thank you for reading.)
43 comments:
I'm so sorry Kelly.
It seems like everywhere you turn lately there is sadness and so many questions, so my "Why X?" or "If I had only..."
It stinks that we have to experience this pain, but in the end, we can use it to help us appreciate what wonderful blessings we do have--family, friends and the opportunity to heal with those we love, whether with a hug, a laugh or just a quiet nod of acknowledgment that this too shall pass.
Again, my thoughts are with you my friend.
Just so you know:
Uncles know
He knew
No extra calls rqd.
He loved you and your family with or without them cause that's what made him HIM.
(Hug)
I'm so sorry for the loss of your uncle, Kelley. And for the sadness of the other tragic deaths. Truly sorry.
Hugs.
I'm so very sorry for your loss, my friend. I wish I could give you a hug.
Words aren't enough, but they're all I've got.
Oh Kelly, I am so sorry to hear about your uncle. He sounds like a lovely man. I am praying for your family.
My heart hurts for you friend.
so very sorry for your loss. *HUG*
I lost my Uncle a year and a half ago...my family could not go to the funeral for various reasons either. Reading this made me cry, because it is the exact words I said about my Uncle, my only Uncle. He was special. I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you over this weekend. xxoo
That makes my heart hurt to hear it. Even funny ladies need time to tend to sad things and recover. My condolences, Kelley.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
This was so profoundly moving. I no words can't help, but please know how sorry I am for your loss, but also how happy I am you had someone like your uncle in your life. That's a huge blessing. I am praying for you and yours in this difficult time.
I'm so sorry for your loss, he sounded like a very special man.
Hugs to you, Kelley. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.
I am so sorry for your loss my friend. Sending you (((hugs)))
I'm truly sorry for the loss of your uncle. But you wait - he WILL remain around you! You may not realize it at first or recognize what you THINK you are imagining. But all of a sudden you will FEEL his presence & KNOW. As for the young man who killed his family - my heart aches for him - because SOMETHING has redirected his wiring so badly for him to even contemplate - much less, carry OUT - such horrors. I'll be thinking of you, Kelley, & when things are calmer and settled, and you are feeling like facing the world again, I hope we can get together. Sending hugs in your direction!
Your uncle sounds in so many ways like my uncles, so I can only imagine your sadness. And it's even harder when you're hurting for others, too. I'm sorry your husband and boys can't go with you, but I hope you're able to really enjoy your time soaking in the family members who are able to go, bc you know that while it's a terribly sad time, there will also be laughter and memories and hugs and much love.
Much love to you, my friend. I'll be praying for you, your family, and your friends.
I'm so very sorry for your loss and for the pain you're feeling. Your uncle sounds like an amazing and loving man.
And the other situation is so unbelievably tragic and incredibly sad.
Thank you for the reminder to appreciate our loved ones and all they bring to our lives. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs and love to you, Kelley. It's going to be a tough time right now, but you have lots of people who care about you.
Kelley, I'm so sorry about your uncle. He sounds like a really special guy. I hope when you go back for the services that you get some comfort being among others who loved him too.
The sadness in the world makes you want to hold tight to the ones you love, and do good for others to try and balance it out.
I hope you have a safe trip and my heart goes out to you and your family.
I am so sorry that you have lost your Uncle, he sounds like a really wonderful guy.
We had our own Columbine here a few weeks ago, incredibly tragic. My son's school is practicing a Lockdown today. It's not supposed to be like this.
Safe travels to you and your family as you make your way to Florida.
i'm so sorry for your loss. will be thinking of you and your family.
It's hard to lose special people like that. How nice that you and your aunt will be able to comfort one another.
I hope your heart is happy again soon. Hugs for you....
So sorry for your loss Kelley. I never know what to say about things like this, but this whole post and specifically the end struck me. My mom lost a close friend recently and it made me realize that I need to visit her more. And after I read your post I'm going to make it a point to see as many friends and family as possible while I'm there, to reconnect with and appreciate everyone in my life. I know you'll do the same with yours.
Take all the time you need with this. When you're ready to laugh again we'll be here. All the best!
Hugs and love for all. Be safe sweetie.
Oh Kelley I'm so sorry.
Sorry for your family's loss and the tragedy that has touched those close to you.
Biggest of hugs to you.
I'm sorry...
I'm so sorry, Kelley, on the loss of your uncle. I hope you have a safe trip & get to enjoy at least a little of it while you catch up with family you haven't seen in a while.
I hadn't heard about the tragedy in Waller, but I have read up on it now. So sad. He obviously didn't realize the impact his actions would have on him. But at least he experienced remorse BEFORE he killed anyone at the school.
Oh honey. I am so so SO sorry. He sounds like a wonderful man.
Know that my thoughts are with you during this time.
xoxo
I am so sorry for your loss.
Be sad.
You will find funny again soon. :)
sorry to hear that Kelley *warm hug*
time will heal the heart
I'm so sorry for your loss. and for your friends' loss. Hugs. Take care.
So much pain...so much loss... my heart aches from it. I am so sorry you're in the thick of such grieving, Kelley. (((hugs))) from me to you.
I'm so sorry about your uncle. I was super blessed with some great uncles, too. This made me cry a little and made me remember my funny, loving uncles who always tried to make me smarter and happier.
How sad for so many.
I'm sorry, Kelley.
Heart pain sucks . SUCKS.
I hate it.
And I hate that you are feeling it right now.
We will always be here, don't worry about us.
--Kelley,
I remember when Kay was murdered, I walked around for months saying "My Heart Hurts. My heart Hurts...." & it still does. It always will....ALWAYS.
I know that Death is Part of life & I love God, But damn it, IT HURTS and it SUCKS and it is painful.
I am soooo sorry about your beautiful uncle ( the one who counted your freckles ) so very sorry.
Thinking of you ...and loving you right now.
Xx
I'm so sorry for your loss, Kelley. My heart is aching for you right now. You expressed your emotions so succinctly. I felt every word. Take your time, to grieve, to reflect, to re-group. When you're ready, you'll be back.
I've been following what happened in Waller, and I find it so disturbing and so incredibly sad.
Many hugs to you!
Aww, so sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for your heart.
I'm so sorry Kelley. I know there are no words to fix any of this for you but I am so, so sorry for you.
So sorry. So glad that he was wonderful enough to miss like that.
I'm so sorry for your loss...will keep you and your family in my thoughts....
Oh Kelley I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle.
He sounds like a great guy.
My thoughts are with you and your family...
Kelley,
So sorry for your loss. It's never easy when you lose someone you love. Whether it is quick or you know it is coming. Death all around sucks. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way!
Oh Kelly, I'm just now reading this. I'm so sorry.
Oh, I am so sorry about your uncle. I am sending you a big, virtual hug.
Post a Comment
Comments make me feel like I'm not talking to the wall. Don't get me wrong. I love talking to walls. Some of my best friends are walls. Still, I like hearing from you, so thanks!