Finding the Funny #7: Childbirth doesn't hurt, right??

 Some of you may have seen my post on Facebook or Twitter yesterday, but I have a graph up at NickMom this week called the "Giving Birth Pain Scale" that I would love for you to check out!  Because I got into some technical conversations about it on my personal Facebook page yesterday, know that a) the scale is not saying childbirth is the most painful thing you can ever experience and b) the scale is a 1-5 pain scale, not 1-10. It is a condensed, mini-pain scale.  Yes, there are far worse painful things you can experience other than childbirth, such as:
-Hugging an eel.
-Using a porcupine as a pillow.
-Fighting a T-rex over a container of chicken nuggets.
-Drinking a smoothie with strawberries, bananas and crushed glass.
-Trying to keep a ravenous lion away from slab of wildebeest.
-Filing your nails with a sawshark.
-Giving an angry mother Grizzly a high-five.
For some people, childbirth wasn't painful at all.  In fact, some find it so delightful that they may even prefer it over an afternoon of enjoying ice cream cones and walking through the zoo.  Also, some have never been able to experience childbirth and THAT is painful alone.  The graph was supposed to be lighthearted, so please don't take it too seriously!  The fact that I would develop a tongue-in-cheek painscale is not surprising, since I have a history of being a really, really big wuss:

-When I was four, I ran out of the hospital room just before I was supposed to get stitches in my eyebrow because I was afraid of the needle. 

-If I got a splinter in my finger as a child, I acted like my hand was about to be ripped off by an insane lumberjack.

-As a little girl, my dentist asked my mom to take me elsewhere because I cried too much when it came cavity-filling time.

-Around the age of 8 or 9, I literally got under a table at the doctor's office to hide from the nurse because I didn't want a shot.

-I'd practically give myself ulcers worrying about my mom or dad having to pull one of my loose teeth.

As an adult, I'm a bit better about dealing with physical pain.  Thankfully, besides childbirth (I heart you, Epidural!) and that time I stepped on a Lego, I haven't really had to deal with anything significant.  Yet.

(For those that have had to endure REAL pain or do so on a daily basis, I'm not trying to minimize what you went through or are going through.  I admire your strength!)


And now...

Finding the Funny

It is so awesome to see the crazy posts you all link up with "Finding the Funny" each week.  It makes us happy to see new faces in the mix, too!  I know we all have some humor posts up our sleeves, even if we are not specifically writers of a "humor blog".  Anna and I are so appreciative of your participation in this little link-up party and for reading some of the other posts linked up, too.  Remember when you share it on Twitter to use the hashtag #findingthefunny AND to type in the title of your post in the "name" section of the linky.  Thanks, homies!

#1 - A Dedication Let Me Start By Saying

#2 TIE - I Totally Violated my Mailman, Part 1 Confessions of a Semi-Domesticated Mama

#2 TIE - Elmo Has An Affair Take 10 With Tricia

#3 - How the Tooth Fairy Flies at Our House Random Handprints

#4 - What's That Noise? Tuffet Whimsy {The Blog}

#5 - OCCUPIED! Confessions of the Id


Alison@Mama Wants This said... [Reply]

I'm a pain wuss. So I had an epidural too and am not going to hesitate asking for another!

Kimberly said... [Reply]

Don't hate me but...
Since we only had one doctor in our city working the OB unit, I was given a double dose of epidural so that I wouldn't have the urge to push...because the doctor was busy with a c-section.
When it came time to push. I couldn't feel anything.
I didn't even know if I was pushing or not.
Don't hate me.

Michelle said... [Reply]

So, I was in induced, took doc three tries to break my water, labor for 24 hours, then a c-section. Pure insanity. So of course, we decided to have a second one. This time, sign me up for the c-section, do not pass Go, and you can keep your $200!

Fadderly said... [Reply]

I've had a few kidney stones. Can I say those hurt? Or will I get run out of Dodge? :)

Katie said... [Reply]

@Fadderly- I agree with you. My kidney stones hurt more than childbirth! In fact, the next time I have a run in with kidney stones, I am going to DEMAND and epidural!

Shelly said... [Reply]

I was so nervous about the pain with my first delivery that I wrote epidural in black marker on my wrist in case both my husband and I were incapacitated and couldn't say it!

The Empress said... [Reply]

You will hate me forever.

But I wasn't raised to be a liar.

I LOVED every freakin' minute of labor and delivery.

I had no pain.


I had no pain.

Out of body experience, I don't know.

But probably.

My kids were over 8, yeah, probably disassociation for the purpose of survival.

LOVE that you do this Finding the FUNNY.



AudreyO said... [Reply]

I got no pain meds for either of my kids, it was too late. There is just no pain like the pain of childbirth.

Susan in the Boonies said... [Reply]

Once...I had a paper cut.

You want to talk about pain...

(Did I mention that I had an epidural for EACH of my children?

Yvonne said... [Reply]

Since I've never given birth, I can't pretend to know what you go through. But I have had kidney stones and those hurt like a motha! O.M.G!!!! So, if it's anything like that, then yeah, I feel your pain. ha!

KLZ said... [Reply]

Wait, there are lumberjacks that aren't crazy? said... [Reply]

Well I thought the pain scale was funny. Honestly though I would rather go through labor again than use a porcupine as a pillow and drink a smoothie with crushed glass. At least I know I would survive, I can't say the same about high-fiving an angry mother grizzly.

Mel said... [Reply]

That T-Rex would not stand a chance if it tried coming between me and my chicken nuggets! Unless the chicken nuggets are from McDonalds, then it can have them.

Thanks for all the great links!

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