If you go into a busy Subway around lunch time, you will find yourself waiting in line for a while. Those Sandwich Artists can only slice into fresh bread and pile on the meat and vegetables so fast. THEY’RE NOT ROBOTS! So, to make your time there a bit more pleasant and productive, here are some ideas:
#1 Do what @cheeseboy22 does: “Whenever I go to Subway, when they ask if I would like my sandwich toasted, I say yes & then I raise my cup of Coke & say, “To my sandwich!”
#2 Order the same exact thing the person in front of you is ordering at the exact same moment. This makes it extra confusing for the “sandwich artist” and annoys the person in front of you all at the same time. It is a win-win.
Stranger: “I’d like tur-“
Stranger: “Okay. That was weird. Ummm…I’d also like let- “
Stranger: “…and toma—“
#3 Start launching chips to unsuspecting customers eating their Meatball Subs all over the store while yelling, “CHIPS ON DA HOUSE!!!” When management approaches you after Cool Ranch Doritos, Cheetos and Sun Chips have knocked several people on the side of their heads, faint.
#4 Ask when construction will begin on the indoor kids’ playground.
#5 Order “the special” and then start talking on your cell phone. When the Subway lady impatiently asks, “What special? What are you even talking about? What do you want on your sandwich??”, start laughing really loud and hard like you are talking to Jerry Seinfeld or something. When she asks you again, nonchalantly say “Oh, I’m sorry. A Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Thanks!” and go back to laughing with your friend on the phone.
#6 Ask the people around you if they want to start a shoulder massage chain.
#7 When they refuse, start up a game of “Telephone” where you whisper a sentence into the person’s ear in front of you and then he whispers it in the ear of the person in front of him, etc. The last person then has to say the sentence he or she thought they heard out loud. Start the game off with, “Schlotzsky’s is better.”
It’s Finding the Funny time! Anna and I love that you come back each week to spread your funny around. If you haven’t jumped in before, it is obviously easy to do. Just make sure that you put the title of your post in the “name” section in the link-up form. Also, if you refer to it on Twitter, please use the hashtag #findingthefunny. Thanks!
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#3 – What Else is a Penis For? Untypically Jia
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