7 Ways To Make Ordering at Subway More Fun


If you go into a busy Subway around lunch time, you will find yourself waiting in line for a while.  Those Sandwich Artists can only slice into fresh bread and pile on the meat and vegetables so fast.  THEY'RE NOT ROBOTS!  So, to make your time there a bit  more pleasant and productive, here are some ideas:

#1  Do what @cheeseboy22 does: "Whenever I go to Subway, when they ask if I would like my sandwich toasted, I say yes & then I raise my cup of Coke & say, "To my sandwich!"

#2  Order the same exact thing the person in front of you is ordering at the exact same moment.  This makes it extra confusing for the "sandwich artist" and annoys the person in front of you all at the same time.  It is a win-win.

Stranger: "I'd like tur-"
You: "Turkey."

Stranger: "Okay.  That was weird.  Ummm...I'd also like let- "

Stranger: "...and toma---"

#3  Start launching chips to unsuspecting customers eating their Meatball Subs all over the store while yelling, "CHIPS ON DA HOUSE!!!"  When management approaches you after Cool Ranch Doritos, Cheetos and Sun Chips have knocked several people on the side of their heads, faint.

#4  Ask when construction will begin on the indoor kids' playground.

#5  Order "the special" and then start talking on your cell phone.  When the Subway lady impatiently asks, "What special?  What are you even talking about? What do you want on your sandwich??", start laughing really loud and hard like you are talking to Jerry Seinfeld or something.  When she asks you again, nonchalantly say "Oh, I'm sorry.  A Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Thanks!" and go back to laughing with your friend on the phone.

#6  Ask the people around you if they want to start a shoulder massage chain.

#7  When they refuse, start up a game of "Telephone" where you whisper a sentence into the person's ear in front of you and then he whispers it in the ear of the person in front of him, etc.  The last person then has to say the sentence he or she thought they heard out loud.  Start the game off with, "Schlotzsky's is better."


I have a post up at NickMom today that I just discovered, so I'm squeezing in a link to it here.  The title is "Rules of Connect Four, as told by my 3-year-old".  You know I will want to give you a hug, a high five and the other half of my BFF necklace if you click on that link. 

And now...

It's Finding the Funny time!  Anna and I love that you come back each week to spread your funny around.  If you haven't jumped in before, it is obviously easy to do.  Just make sure that you put the title of your post in the "name" section in the link-up form.  Also, if you refer to it on Twitter, please use the hashtag #findingthefunny.  Thanks!

Most Clicked Links from Last Week

#1 - The Loss of My Size 0 Butt... And My Dignity My Suitcase Full of Tricks

#2 - Hubby's 10 things a Man should know about Women Confessions of a Semi-Domesticated Mama

#3 - What Else is a Penis For? Untypically Jia

#4 - Baby's First Inappropriate St. Patrick's Day! Random Handprints

#5 - I Smell Abby Has Issues


THE FLINT SKINNY said... [Reply]

This was awesome all the way through. And then you mentioned Schlotzsky's, taking it to a whole new heavenly level. I haven't heard that funny name (serious sandwich) in at least a decade.

Saimi said... [Reply]

HA!! you got it down sista!! Our humble little Subway has the best sandwich artiest around and really knows how to pack a sub. We give her a generous tip to keep her in our favor!

Abby said... [Reply]

NOOO!!! Schlotzsky's completely left our city/state a few years ago and I had finally repressed the mourning over it until you mentioned it again...sigh.

I don't eat out except when I travel, but next time I'm toasting ALL THE THINGS.

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said... [Reply]

I always like to ask to speak to Jared and when they say he's not there, I insist that they leave a message for me.

The subject matter of message is always about how Jared and I plan on holding up a bank later that day.

Natalie said... [Reply]

I'm totally going to use one of these next time I go!

Shelly said... [Reply]

I especially like #3. May have to try that this evening when I pick up our Subways after work-

In Real Life said... [Reply]

I like the toasting your sub tip! :) Now, I feel like Subway!

thoughtsappear said... [Reply]

I didn't even know what a Schlotzsky's until 2 years ago. Kiefer tried to take me there...but it had closed down.

Paula @lkg4sweetspot said... [Reply]

So funny!I think my husband does #5, but not on purpose...

Kate said... [Reply]

That Cheeseboy is crazy. I wouldn't recommend trying any of the above at the Bloomington, IL Subway right off the interstate, where last year (I'm still holding a grudge) we were served by perhaps the most hostile sandwich artist (more tempermental than a sandwich artiste, even) ever. Truly, he scared me a little. He might be working for the post office now, but I wouldn't take any chances if you're ever in Bloomington.

Also, I don't think running is bad for your knees. I had knee surgery 10+ years ago (because volleyball is bad for your knees), but my knees don't give me problems. Well, unless I fall. You know what they say...running isn't bad for your knees; falling on your knees is bad for your knees.

Paige Kellerman said... [Reply]

Still laughing at number one. I think I may have peed a little. Sharing!

Ali - My Suitcase Full of Tricks said... [Reply]

I'm literally sitting here cackling and Ryan wants to see what I'm reading. I have a request: Please go into Subway and have someone tape you doing #1. PLEASE.

Kimberly said... [Reply]

our Subway is literally a corner...so the telephone game would be really awkward...wait...that's what we're going for right?

Kim Brison said... [Reply]

That was awesome! I might actually do #4 next time I go...or make my husband, he will totally do it...I'll let you know how it goes...

Alison@Mama Wants This said... [Reply]

I'm not a Subway's fan but I'll go in and do some of these things, hah!

Jen said... [Reply]

Thank you for these awesome sandwich ordering tips. I will put them to use the next time I go to Subway.

(Do I sound like a Spam bot? Well, good that is what I was going for. Why? Because I can)


Annabelle said... [Reply]

Oh it is on!

I'm loving number 6...and the Seinfeld reference.

Annabelle said... [Reply]

Oh it is on!

I'm loving number 6...and the Seinfeld reference.

Annabelle said... [Reply]

Oh it is on!

I'm loving number 6...and the Seinfeld reference.

My Inner Chick said... [Reply]

Do you write for SNL?

If not, you must quite your day job.... HaaaaaaaaaahAAAAAAAAaa

Make your own quiz said... [Reply]

Keep it on with this type of post.

Crystal Pistol said... [Reply]

I like the one where you faint after throwing chips. I also laughed heartily at saying words the same time as the other guy... tomato

Kai said... [Reply]

OMG, Kelley! It's 7 A.M. Thursday & I'm JUST now getting to actually READ yesterday's blogs. My housemate said he could hear me laughing all the way outside when he was watering his peas. And I was STILL laughing so hard by the time he came in and SAID that, HIS comment, 'watering his peas' got me started again. Oooo ... I think I need coffee! HAHAHAHAHA ... GASP! NOTE: It's going to be a long time before I can go into another Subway without thinking of this & either being tempted to DO some of the 7 things OR without beginning to laugh & CONTINUING till the workers there have me 'escorted' out!

Susan in the Boonies said... [Reply]

Cheeseboy's line actually made me laugh out loud.
And "Schlotsky's is better" has potential to get messed up in some diabolically funny ways.

I want to meet you at a blogging conference and go in a restaurant with you and get thrown out with you.

Because I think we might.

But it would be so worth it to be able to tell the story later.

Dibs on blogging about it!!!!!!!!!!

Emmy said... [Reply]

Oh the chip one is hilarious! My husband hates Subway all after a time when they all but refused to let my son get a pop with his kids meal as pop doesn't come with the kid meal. Never mind the fact that a pop costs less than the apple juice or milk they were trying to force on us- if we want to give our kid a pop, we can give our kid pop!

Rachel said... [Reply]

That is just evil.

Hilariously evil.

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