Today, we salute YOU…Ms. Starbucks Barista Lady!!

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After posting this status update on my personal Facebook page, “Hearing what people order from Starbucks entertains me. Please entertain me. Tell me exactly what you say when you are finally standing in front of the barista”, I knew it was past time to salute the Starbucks barista girls as a part of my “Today, We Salute You…” series.  If you click on those same words in my navigation bar above, you will see that 12 ladies have been saluted so far in the Break Room.  It blows me away that it has taken me this long to get around to the Starbucks ladies!  Because I have been so, so entertained by my friends’ responses, I put them in the comments section below.  People get downright CRAZY when ordering their Starbucks.  I love it!

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***The below is sung to the tune of those popular commercials from that REALLY big beer company, which you can hear here***

Kelley’s Break Room presents…
Real Women of Genius
(Real women of geeeennniu-hus!!!)
Today we salute YOU, Ms. Starbucks-Barista-Lady.
(Ms. Starbucks-Barista-Laaaaaaahaaaydeh!!!)

It’s your turn today to work the morning shift, so you quickly put on your black shirt, your black skinny jeans and then tie your green Starbucks apron around you so fast and skilled that you sometimes wonder why you just didn’t become a ninja.  After making sure all of your face piercings are nice and secure and that your teeth are brushed, you run out the door, hop on your bike and pedal fast toward THE Starbucks in town.
(Can’t-wait-to-eat-some-pound-cake)
Within seconds, you’re behind the counter and fielding all of the coffee requests from sassy people who transform into royalty once in front of your cash register.  There is no way you are fooled by people in jeans and t-shirts.  Starbucks customers may dress casual, but once inside your store every single one of them is a prima donna. Every single one of them feels a little smarter, a little more trendy, a little more “with it” once you succumb to their demands, they get their coffee and go on their way.  That makes you smile.
(C’MON!  THROW SOMETHING IN MY TIP CUP!!!)
You marvel at yourself for being able to understand demands like, *”Grande 6 Pump Soy Chai.  No, make that a Caramel Macchiato with Soy, upside down and inside out”  and **”venti-iced-quad-shot-three-raw-sugar-upside-down-not-stirred-caramel-macchiato-with-lots-of-caramel-on-bottom” without having to ask for a repetition.  No average Jane could make it as a barista and, for that, you sometimes get a little cocky.  You can take the order AND make the coffee.  In fact, you could run this whole store all alone and know that if there was ever a “Starbucks Barista 101” class at the local junior college, you’d be the professor.

 

(Just-don’t-make-me-be-the-pastry-getter)

So, crack open a new package of those Starbucks-green plastic stirrers that fit into that spout in the plastic lids and know that YOU are the real reason we drive right past the donut shop with the black coffee for 25 cents and straight to Starbucks where we fork. it. over.  Our retirement fund may have all been spent on your delicious coffee and a whoopie pie or two, but, for your smile and expertise (and strange tattoos that we like to stare at every morning), it will all have been worth it.
Ms. Starbucks Barista Lady!!!!!!!!!!!!

(not her below)

Not a lady, but one of my favorite Starbucks
employees ever.  He let me take a picture of his official Starbucks
ski cap that had been embroidered with handcuffs by his very own mother.

*My friend Stephanie’s order.
**My friend Kim’s order.

(I would LOVE to hear exactly what you say when you are standing in front of the barista, even if you wear the “Coffee. Black.” badge.)

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