I was caught in a lie!

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When I was about 7 years old, my grandmother’s sister asked me to tell her about my house. I thought to myself that if she had to ask me these questions, she must have never been to my house. I saw before me a perfect opportunity to make something up! I remember telling her that it was a two-story house that was VERY large. The truth was, I can remember sitting in a certain spot in our front hallway and being very proud that I could see every room in the house with the exception of my parents’ room. How I loved convincing someone that my house was gigantic. As I took a breath and probably started to describe the gardens or in-ground pool or something (ours was the very glamorous above-ground), she cut me off.

“Now, Kelley, are you telling me the truth?”

“Yes.”

“Kelley?”

This is when I started to cry. What a bad liar. I guess I’m not surprised that I caught my oldest son at about 3-years-old stirring the cake mix and sneaking frequent bites of it as he stirred. I didn’t catch him in the act. I saw his face. It was like his mouth, from just under his nose to the bottom of his chin, had been dunked in chocolate cake batter.

“Have you been eating that cake mix?”, I asked.

“No.”

“You haven’t had one bite?”

“No.”

It really made me laugh. He was so young that I don’t think he quite grasped what lying was all about. He had just turned 3. He is still not good at hiding evidence when he tries to be sneaky. He has gone into the bathroom with a box of Lucky Charms (to pick out all of the marshmallows, of course!) and left the box in there afterwards. He’ll leave a chair wherever he moved it to reach something he wasn’t supposed to touch. I’m obviously not going to teach him how to cover his tracks better!

Before you begin to think we are a bunch of depraved, hopeless liars over here, I assure you that is not the case. I hate hiding things from anyone. I typically tell too much. It is better to me to just blurt it out and receive any backlash right away then to wait for it later. One area that I’m not always the most honest is my location during a route. If I am running late somewhere, my family or my husband always like to ask the dreaded question “WHERE ARE YOU?” I hate that question. Here’s how I answer it:

*If I have just left the house: “I’m on my way!”

*If I’m halfway there: “I’m almost to (name a street still SEVERAL minutes ahead)”.

*If I’m almost there: “I’m right around the corner.”

Notice I never say “I’m at the corner of Street A and Street B”, because I will ALWAYS hear “You are just at Street A & Street B?! You were supposed to have left a long time ago!” I honestly think they’d be happiest if I just coughed up my longitude and latitude points already. Now that my husband has installed a new app on our phones, he will know my exact location at all times. Ahhhh!!! (Actually, it’s fine. I have nothing to hide!). It is a GPS device in each of our phones. I won’t be able to be vague anymore!!! Thank goodness everyone else in my family has flip phones still.

Do you have a fun story about being caught in a lie or “half-truth” when you were younger? I’m assuming if you’ve been caught recently, it probably wasn’t fun, but I could be wrong!

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