“How To Ruin A Picture Day Shirt” by a 3-year-old boy


***I’m getting all Mommy Blogger on you with this story.  Don’t get me wrong.  That is a great type of blogger to be, it’s just that I’m typically writing other types of posts. I originally wrote this one for another website, but decided to keep it here.  I thought you might enjoy reading it.***

A few months ago, my mom wanted to get picture taken of me and my brother. She loves doing that!  I don’t get it.  Anyway, one day when I was playing with my trains, she starts getting all stressed and the next thing I know, she’s chasing my brother and me trying to brush our hair and saying things like “You need to brush your teeth!” and “Don’t eat anything else!” and “We need to leave in 2 minutes to get your pictures taken!”

When she put on my fancy shirt with a collar and buttons that she searched and searched for in every store around (while chasing me out of clothing racks) so that it matched my brother’s EXACTLY, it hit me that these were the pictures where a man sticks a huge black thing in my face while he yells out, “SMILE!  LOOK OVER HERE!  GIVE ME A BIG GRIN!” over and over. (Mom mostly says, “Don’t scrunch up your face like that.  Give a REAL smile!”).  Oh, great.

Because I am such a big boy, just before leaving to see Mr. Picture Taker (“Get in the car!  We have to leave in 30 seconds!”), I decided I should wash my hands at the kitchen sink where mommy had been cleaning some vegetables earlier. Mom has kid soap for me to use in my special bathroom, but I wanted to show her that I could use the BIG sink that she uses sometimes. At my house, there is a bar with stools in front of the kitchen sink. All I have to do is climb on the stool, reach over the bar and turn on the faucet. Since she was so busy convincing my brother to wear the fancy shirt that matched mine, I started to wash my hands all by myself!

I streeeeeeeeeetched across the counter and washed them REALLY fast.  I didn’t even move ANYTHING out of my way!  By the look on Mommy’s face, though, maybe I should have at least moved this:

(Mommy actually managed to wash most of the tomato juice off the front of my shirt.  We didn’t see the tomato splatter on the sides and the back until we were there at the photo shoot.  She said something about being happy about Photoshop.)


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