How To Gift Wrap A Snake

If you are like me, you are just about finished buying all the various snakes you plan on giving out as Christmas gifts this weekend.  You have rounded out your assortment of garter snakes, copperheads, King Cobras and rattlesnakes and finally are sitting down to wrap them all.  You know that your kids, grandmother, Great Aunt Ethel, cousin Bill and the newest addition to the family, 3-year-old Molly, would be sorely disappointed to open a package and finding anything less than a live and well snake.  It crossed your mind once to tranquilize the sucker and give it to them all limp and lifeless, but then they would think it was dead on Christmas morning!  Who wants a dead snake?  NO ONE!  So, that is why I have decided to come to your rescue with tips on how to gift wrap a snake.



Before we go any further, I truly cannot take all of the credit for these ideas.  As I wrestled a python so I could slap a big red bow on his head just yesterday, I was getting quite frustrated and turned to my personal Facebook page for help.  Many clever people had good ideas on how to gift wrap a snake to perfection. You'll see those smart contributors' name with each idea.


#1: Use the wrapping paper tube (Chris H.)

The issue here isn't the exposed head of a poisonous snake.  The issue is that, DUH, they'll see what they're getting for Christmas before they open it up!  Christmas is about surprises and there is no surprise here. (Also, during our gift wrapping trials, he kept slithering out of the dingdang tube.)  My friend, Aimee, suggested stuffing the snake inside it and then wrapping the ends with ribbon so that it resembles a giant Tootsie Roll.  A snake-stuffed Tootsie Roll!  Can you think of anything more pleasant than that??


#2: Festive Rubbermaid container (Courtney)
This is a great idea, because you can just mix the tiny snake in with food that you have prepared for the Christmas feast or food that you want to share with a friend.  At first, they won't even know a snake is in there!  Hahaha!!  They'll reach their hand inside and, BAM, they'll know instantly that something in there has teeth.  The last time they checked, it sure wasn't the green beans!  So, yeah, this offers an element of surprise and, as Courtney from Just Plain Jayne mentioned on Facebook, guaranteed freshness!



#3: Stuff it into a pillowcase (Gabriella)

Now obviously, you have the option to just stuff that King Cobra deep in the pillowcase and call it a day.  If you would like the King Cobra to have a chance to check out the sights, by all means, let him.  Just know that his head might give it away that the rest of his body is inside that sweet pillowcase and the element of surprise will be lost on your friend or family member.  It really is your call.  (That cute pillowcase can be found here.)



#4: Make it a glitter-y snake! (Eliza)
Eliza suggests not evey worrying about "gift wrapping" the snake, but covering it with glue and then sprinkling it with glitter.  Really, this is an efficient way and festive way of presenting your gift.  As before, they'll defnitely know what the gift is once they see his black slippery tongue, but they would find out soon enough anyways, right??  I love that the glitter is matched with the King Rattlesnake here.  He is ready to party!  Actually, I insist that if you give the rattlesnake, you go with this gift wrap option.




#5: Show him Rosie or Whoopi's picture (Adrian)
Adrian said that if you just show the snake a picture of Rosie or Whoopi, he'll immediately lose the will to fight and you can essentially wrap him in anything.  If you are more of a cute wrapping paper person or you just love gift bags with lots of tissue paper, this may be the way to go this Christmas.  This method can also be used to place the snake in a stocking, though it would have to be a rather large stocking to fit this python, amirite?  Thanks, Adrian, for that tip!


Susan from Susan in the Boonies chimed in that one could keep the snake in place with thumbtacks, but what a mess that would be!  Also, how painful for the docile and kind snake.  No, no...tacks won't do.  Meredith and Greg suggested killing the sweet creature, but, as I mentioned at the beginning, everyone looks forward to a nice, live snake at Christmastime!  Where is the Christmas spirit here, Meredith and Greg??

Back to gift-wrapping...as you can plainly see, there really are so many different ways to gift wrap a snake.  You need not be worried over how to present this perfect gift to your loved ones this year. Now, go get you some eggnog and relax!


24 comments:

Alison@Mama Wants This said... [Reply]

DYING here. DYING.

Thanks for the useful tips! Now, how do I catch one in the first place?

ISRAEL CARRASCO said... [Reply]

This guy should have used your tips:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5n5inH9U4A&feature=related

Jen said... [Reply]

All I want to know is why in the world are you trying to wrap a snake. Have you lost your mind?

Barfly said... [Reply]

That is a wonderful talent to have. I have trouble just keeping my little snake it's wrapping paper. Lets just say I have to "adjust" it quite a bit.

Kimberly said... [Reply]

I really think that you should make a guest appearance on Martha Stewart.
I bet that prude doesn't have your ninja like skills of wrapping a snake.
She'd be so proud.

Eva Gallant said... [Reply]

What kind of drugs are you on, girl? I want some!

Susan in the Boonies said... [Reply]

I still say using thumbtacks to fasten the wrapping paper to the snake is worth a shot. And if it's a little bloody? Well...that's why God made Tide-To-Go.

Your poor family.

You'll miss them when they're gone.

But first, you'll get to watch them swell up really big, and change colors, so, it's not a total loss.

Shelly said... [Reply]

Oh, my goosebumps have goosebumps! Snakes and I aren't really tight, but those are very clever ideas. I just hope I never have to use one...

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said... [Reply]

Have you tried lots of alcohol? Whether you drink it or the snake drinks I think you'll be happy with the results.

Saimi said... [Reply]

Now who woulda thought, I mean snakes for Christmas?....there you go it's going on my top 10 gifts to give out and now I have a reference on how to wrap them!!

Thank you Kelley you're the BEST!

Emmy said... [Reply]

Oh thank you! You saved my Christmas. I had no idea how I was going to get that snake my daughter wants wrapped up.

Paige Kellerman said... [Reply]

You're one brave momma! At first I thought you were talking about a toy snake, and then my heart fell out of my butt. If I unwrapped a snake, on Christmas, it'd be my last Christmas... Thanks for the laugh..er trauma. I need to go lay down.

My Inner Chick said... [Reply]

--Kelley,
I can't believe you posted this...talk about luck.
It is exsactly what i've been searching for.
Whew, I can finally sleep tonight. X

paula said... [Reply]

I just love your sense of humor. If I gave anyone a snake for xmas alive or dead - I would be a dead wife as my husband has an insane phobia of snakes! But good info to keep in mind - you just never know! Might come in handy for some other slimy creature.

Lazarus said... [Reply]

Dear KKelley,

OK, now I'm worried about you.

Sincerely,

Your concerned friend Lazarus :)

AudreyO said... [Reply]

I'm laughing...I give gifts unwrapped every single year LOL.

Jamie said... [Reply]

Good tips indeed. I only had to figure out how to
wrap a Russian tortoise. He was easy to catch but hard to keep quiet. Good luck.

Seriously Though said... [Reply]

This is such a great idea. I think I'll run to the nearest snake store (yes, there's one in my town!) and buy my loved one snakes. I think it would bring a lot of fresh, new excitement to the gift opening experience.

Cindi said... [Reply]

ROFL! I'll keep this in mind when purchasing dangerous animals for Christmas. Got any ideas for black bears? LoL

Leigh Ann @ Genie in a Blog said... [Reply]

What's weird is that I had a dream last night that I was being suffocated by a python. It wasn't a Christmasy python though. Pity.

In Real Life said... [Reply]

Yikes! Snakes! :)

Jessica said... [Reply]

Hilarious!

How could you have forgotten glitter? And pipe cleaners? And where does the gift tag go??

A Beer for the Shower said... [Reply]

Nice suggestions, all! Though I personally would opt for the 'hose reel' approach.

Natalie said... [Reply]

LOL I'm glad I know this now...I'm sure it will come in handy :)

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Comments make me feel like I'm not talking to the wall. Don't get me wrong. I love talking to walls. Some of my best friends are walls. Still, I like hearing from you, so thanks!

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