Saving The Faceless Baby

0

In 1996, I worked at an afterschool daycare with my friends, Mari & Cristy, and my boyfriend (now husband), Chris.  We also worked with a sweet lady named Carmen.  Carmen had a thick accent and it was difficult to understand her sometimes.  You never wanted to be deep inside the “games closet” when Carmen came in, because she would talk to you for a long time and block the exit out of the closet.  You’d essentially be trapped in there well after you collected Connect Four, Yahtzee and Guess Who listening to Carmen tell you a story that you couldn’t understand but that she obviously thought was hilarious. 

“And then I asdfkjaspodfuasgddjasdufsaldjfsaldjfskfdsadf ellos ellas verdad.  So, I said sadlfl;ajdsejtlas….HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!”

“Really?  I can’t believe that!  You know what?  I’ve got to get going.  These kids are really dying to play Guess Who and there are all, like, unattended in ther…”

“Then I told her I didn’t wasdfkas;kdfjasljd;askjdlsajd;jgsaldjfasjflasjsa tambien.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

You could only smile and nod for so long before you wanted to fake your demise.  The thing was, Carmen would have been able to save you and then you would have to listen to her unintelligible stories again.

Carmen was CPR-certified.

 

I know this because we all became CPR-certified with her.

When I think back to times I’ve laughed really hard that I was crying, THIS story definitely comes to mind.  Carmen was doing her best, as we all were, to keep up with the instructor and his many “simple” rules for how to remember CPR.  We knew the very first thing to do was to locate someone by LOOKING THEM IN THE EYE and then proceed to work your CPR magic.

Carmen went first.
“QUICK!  YOU!  CALL NIGH-WAH-WAH!!”
 
Then she goes down and almost face plants on this:
All of this came back to me last night as I renewed my CPR certification.  The one thing that all CPR courses want to stress to you is that it is EASY.  The steps to remember are so SIMPLE, but every time I get re-certified, there are a hundred new updates.  To save you the time you will certainly spend Googling all of these updates after reading this post, I thought I’d just tell you about four of them right now.
 
 
 
These pertain to adults, so wipe the faceless baby image from your mind now.
#1: You no longer compress 1 1/2 to 2 inches while singing “Don’t Break My Heart, My Ache-y Breaky Heart” as loud as you possibly can. 
NOW: Compress 2 inches (no singing).

#2: You no longer compress 100 times a minute while telling a knock-knock joke to the person you are saving to try to keep the mood light. 
NOW: Compress AT LEAST 100 times in a minute (no jokes).

#3: You no longer apply the A-B-C (airway-breathing-circulation) principle while tilting your head to the left and clicking your tongue. 
NOW: It’s C-A-B now, folks, as in circulation-airway-breathing.  To help you remember, just think CAB, as in The Yellow Cab.  If you see someone that needs CPR, call a CAB! 

#4: You no longer “look, listen and feel for breathing”.
 NOW: Get busy!  If that person looks a lifeless, bust out your face mask and get to puffing and pushing.  You have no time to waste.  If you hear them breathing again, don’t stop.  You aren’t not supposed to look, listen or feel for breathing anymore, remember?  Just keep going until she knocks you out with her shoe.

There are about 800 more updates, but I can see you looking at your watch. 

__________________________________________________________
Today’s JUICE IN THE CITY Deal
Houston/The Woodlands

In Old Town Spring, there is a cute store called The Cottage that carries women’s and children’s clothing, toys and gifts.  Today’s deal is for $20 worth of merchandise for only $10.  I absolutely LOVE Old Town Spring, so will take any excuse to walk around the quaint houses and shops for a chance to buy something unique.  If you are interested in this deal, which will be available today and tomorrow (the 4th & 5th),  go HERE!

Share.

Leave A Reply