The D-CUPcake


Groupon rules our lives.  If Groupon comes out with “Making Underwear Out of Crushed Glass and Splintered Toothpicks” class, my sister and I would probably buy it and take the class as soon as possible.  We’d send several e-mails back and forth trying to find a time to fit in the class designed to teach us how to make toothpick underwear into our schedule.  We then would patiently wait until Groupon came out with a class teaching us how to make bras out of bear teeth and then sign up really quickly for that one, too.  (After sending lots of e-mails back and forth.)
So, you can only imagine how we jumped at the Groupon “Cupcakes & Cocktails”, a how-to-decorate-cupcakes class by Sugar Bunch Creations.  We were given four cupcakes to decorate. We received a little lesson for the first three and then we were supposed to design our own look for the fourth one, which would be judged by our ten classmates. Apparently, this contest is supposed to mock the one they have in the Food Network show “Cupcake Wars”, which I have never seen.  The designer of the winning cupcake during our little class would be eligible for an all-expenses paid trip to Belize and by all-expenses paid trip to Belize I mean a very large pixie stick full of nothing but powdery grape sugar.
One of the cupcakes we were asked to design was suppose to resemble a chrysanthemum.  Here is a real chrysanthemum for you “I don’t own a stinkin’ greenhouse.  Do I look like a gardener or what?  Does it look like I have a degree in Bob Villa?” types:
The real deal.

Because I probably looked like an incompetent freakshow who appeared more interested in getting refills of my Moscato versus decorating my cupcake right, I had a shortage of the marshmallows that we were supposed to be turning into petals.  My instructor had pity on me and told me to add a dollop of icing in the middle to add some beauty to my heinous creation. I don’t think she used the word “heinous” but I can’t be sure.  Maybe she said “pitiful piece of cupcake crap”, but, again, I’m not positive. 
My Pitiful Piece of Cupcake Crap (a.k.a. The Cavity Cupcake)…..

looks like it has ugly teeth desperate for a filling for flower petals.

My sister, the very creative one who has done amazing things with invitations, announcements, party decorations, etc., was, of course, a pro at making pretty cupcakes.  Her chrysanthemum actually looked  like one.  It looked so real, I tried to pick it and put it in a vase.  You should have seen how people yelled “IT’S NOT REAL, YOU WORTHLESS HUMAN BEING!”, like I wouldn’t have figured out it wasn’t really a flower once I stuck it in a vase and it didn’t grow any bigger after a couple of weeks

I got a little better at designing cupcakes as the night went on and I created this one during our fondant lesson.  The only reason I added the star was because every one around me was making fancy shapes with their fondant and all I had done was spread a big piece over my cupcake and wrote a note on it.  I succumbed to the pressure.  I couldn’t be having the lady across the table from me making a rendition of the Mona Lisa riding Ichabod Crane’s horse against the backdrop of Van Gogh’s Starry Night all out of fondant while I just scribbled something on a blank white slate.  So, I added the  “Lift Here” star. 

For my husband.

(This is the part where you wail loudly over that sweet note to my husband
 and blow your nose loudly into a tissue while waving us away.)

At the very end, as I said before, we were supposed to design our own cupcake that would be judged by the rest of the class.  There were ten of us there.  Our design was supposed to center around the question “What do you wish for?”  My sister had a baby theme on hers, Erika had a princess crown on hers, some lady had something we couldn’t make out on hers and I had…

 We had to design the whole cupcake and decorate in TEN minutes.  Maybe if I had had more time I would have drawn the earth with children of all nationalities holding hands and linked around the whole thing.  Instead, I put two large mounds of icing and covered it with a red top.  You could look at this in many ways- perhaps I made it impulsively in support of breast cancer research, maybe it is a bathing suit top and I’m longing for summer again, maybe I need to make a trip to Victoria Secret’s soon or maybe I dream of looking like Dolly Parton.   I’m not really sure what I was thinking. (Remember the Moscato?) 
The point?  I WON!  I finally WON something!  I was the winner!  I felt like a success story.  I went from The Cavity Cupcake to the winning “D-Cupcake” in less than an hour.  Surely they’re going to make a Lifetime movie about me, I kept thinking.  Maybe a book deal is in my future at least?  Perhaps an interview with Barbara Walters or a Hollywood star with my name and handprints on it?  Something?  ANYTHING?!
(Still waiting to hear from someone.)
What would you have put on your cupcake to answer the question: “What do you wish for”?
***If you live in Houston, you should totally check this place out.  The website for Sugar Bunch Candy Creations, a company that also specializes in candy buffets and “edible party favors”, can be found here.  They also have a Facebook page that can be found here.  FYI, I was in NO way compensated for this post.  I’m just sharing it because we loved the time we had at their place!***


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