Why can’t I get myself together??

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Some of you may have already read this post. It was featured on Studio 30 Plus on Friday. They asked that I wait a day before posting it to my site, so…here it is!  Instead of focusing on a new post here, I wanted to read YOUR stuff.  I hope you all had a good weekend!

I am notorious for losing things. I always have been. When I was younger, my mom would follow me around the house as I searched for something while saying, “Why can’t you get yourself together??”  I heard it all the time.  If I were a rapper, I’d be the Notorious G. I. T. (Girl In Trouble With Someone Because She Lost Something Again). I know my acronym didn’t match up, but only the first three letters rhymed with B. I. G. I never miss a chance to make a reference to a famous rapper. Are you following me here?

Let’s move on.

A couple of weeks ago, I finished reading “Sarah’s Key” by Tatiana de Rosnay. The book was very moving. Very sad. It was definitely a good read. The book was turned into a movie and was showing at only two locations in my very large city in Texas. When I had last checked, one of the locations was near our house and the other one was across town about 40 miles away. My husband just about considers “40 miles away” to be a suburb in Indonesia.

My plan was to see this movie with my mother-in-law on the weekend, but when I checked the listings again, it was only at one location. In Indonesia. Dagnabbit. She was game when the movie was closer, but now… Nope, she was out.

Sooooo, the wheels started turning in my head. A date! I could convince my husband to take me on a date to see it!

“Where is this movie again?”

“Oh, you won’t know any of the actors’ names. Some French people.”

“No, WHERE is this movie again?”

“Oh! It’s set in Paris! Don’t you just love Paris??”

“No, Kelley, where do we have to drive to see the movie?”

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It’s near Greenway Plaza.”

“Greenway Plaza?! That is 40 miles from here. You want to go alllllllllllllllllllll the way down to that side of town to see this movie? Just wait for it to come out on DVD. You don’t rush to see movies like this in the theater. Blockbusters, yes, but not this one. Blockbusters are like “Braveheart” and “Saving Private Ryan”, not ‘Sarah’s Key’. Give your car a break, Kelley. It’s begging for mercy!”

“Pleeeeeeeeeeease??? I really want to see it! Don’t you care about spending time with your wife at all?”

“Don’t give me that.”

“‘Well?”

“I do have a gift card for a Regal Cinema theater. Is that theater a Regal Cinema? If it is, we can go, I guess. What is this movie about again?”

“sfjawpsadkaidgaslktj. Okay! I’ll check on Regal Cinema.”

(Husband fervently prays that this theater is NOT a Regal Cinema.)

“YAY!!! It’s a Regal Cinema!! We can go see the movie now. Yay!!!! We can eat before and then go see it. I’m so excited!”

He just looks at me. He eventually gets ready and we leave. On the way, I thought I’d show him how proficient I was with technology and tried to buy our tickets with my Fandango app on my iPhone. For some reason, the code didn’t work. It was decided I would go and purchase the tickets inside.

We were running late, but arrived faster than I thought we would. The next thing I knew, I’ve been catapulted from the car and urged to buy the tickets inside with the gift card. Having that gift card was the main reason I was able to convince my husband to see the movie in the first place. I secretly thanked the gift card for making this date possible. Such a sweet one, that gift card.

I arrived in line to buy the tickets.

I couldn’t find the gift card.

And as I inch closer and closer and closer and closer and CLOSER to the ticket man, I’m not having any luck.

WHERE IS IT?!?! While inching closer and closer and closer, I checked my pockets 800 times AT LEAST. I ransacked my purse like a front door man checking for smuggled goods at a concert. As I am checking for that dingdang gift card in the armpit of the person in front of me, it suddenly becomes my turn.

(Thankfully, during my unfruitful searches for the gift card, I DID find my debit card that had been missing for a over a week in a crazy pocket of my wallet. Get over here, you little debit card. No more hiding like that! You scared mommy!)

As the ticket man stares impatiently at me, I sigh heavily, fork over my life savings and my first born for two movie tickets, thank God I had cash and prayed that my husband wouldn’t ask if the movie people accepted the gift card.

He showed up finally, got his ticket, asked me what the movie was about AGAIN and then we headed into the dark theater to watch it.

Sweet relief! He didn’t ask me if they accepted the gift card before the movie started! He won’t ever know that I lost the gift card! He won’t give me that look that says, “Why can’t you keep up with anything?!” I got away with it!!!!

“Did they accept the gift card?”, he asked me as we walked out of the movie.

Why?? Why does he remember to ask about everything?? Why can’t I get away with losing something just once?

(FYI, we found the gift card about a week later stuck in a weird spot under the passenger seat. Of course.)

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