#1: Get into a fight in the 5th grade with a friend over sharing a bowl of pickle slices that requires your first and last trip to the principal’s office. Cry a lot once you arrive.
#2: At 17 years of age, point to a street sign with the name of your date and marvel at how cute it is to see his name on a street sign only to have him tell you “That’s not my name.” Also? You have no way to cover up for your mistake because you can’t remember his name even after thinking really hard.
#3: In college, accidentally tap your gigantic backpack on the door of the bus so that it will trigger it open and the driver will yell at you in front of everyone to GET OFF THE BUS! Meekly say no.
#4: Lose your hearing and put yourself in many embarrassing situations throughout your life as a result. (See “Gay Awareness”.)
#5: Walk around the kitchen while cooking and wonder out loud who tracked sand in the house with an irritated tone in your voice. Moments later, look into your left hand to see yourself carrying around a salt shaker upside down.
#6: Accidentally open the bathroom door when your older male house guest is nanoseconds away from stepping into the shower.
#7: Be clueless about your surroundings, such as where your waiter is located, and get knocked in the face with the ege of a hot plate of Mexican food while eating with your girlfriends. Touch your face for the rest of the week while stating, “Wow, that really hurt. How come I am so stupid?”
Although my list doesn’t have anything impressive like, “Be able to quote nursery rhymes in Urdu and Swahili while juggling really small monkeys”, I am proud to say that I accomplished everything on that list!
***The iPad 2 Giveaway starts tomorrow and will end on August 28th. Please check back for more details***