My (Embarrassing) 7-Item Bucket List


Pretty sure I came up with the term “bucket list” in the fourth grade.   If I am remembering correctly, I think I mentioned it to someone when we were supposed to be learning about the Texas state bird about my great idea of listing everything you want to accomplish in your life before you kick the bucket.  I am almost CERTAIN I whispered it to someone and that person whispered it to someone who told someone else until someone really influential heard about it all these years later and made a movie using the concept.   Naturally, I developed a bucket list around the time I came up with the idea (a long, long, long, long time ago) and, as a result, have already crossed every single thing off.  I never DREAMED  I would have accomplished each of these goals alreadyand that a movie would be made using MY idea.  Can life really be this good?

Here’s my list:

#1: Get into a fight in the 5th grade with a friend over sharing a bowl of pickle slices that requires your first and last trip to the principal’s office.  Cry a lot once you arrive.

#2: At 17 years of age, point to a street sign with the name of your date and marvel at how cute it is to see his name on a street sign only to have him tell you “That’s not my name.”  Also? You have no way to cover up for your mistake because you can’t remember his name even after thinking really hard.

#3: In college, accidentally tap your gigantic backpack on the door of the bus so that it will trigger it open and the driver will yell at you in front of everyone to GET OFF THE BUS!  Meekly say no.

#4: Lose your hearing and put yourself in many embarrassing situations throughout your life as a result.  (See “Gay Awareness”.)

#5: Walk around the kitchen while cooking and wonder out loud who tracked sand in the house with an irritated tone in your voice.  Moments later, look into your left hand to see yourself carrying around a salt shaker upside down.

#6:  Accidentally open the bathroom door when your older male house guest is nanoseconds away from stepping into the shower.

#7: Be clueless about your surroundings, such as where your waiter is located, and get knocked in the face with the ege of a hot plate of Mexican food while eating with your girlfriends.  Touch your face for the rest of the week while stating, “Wow, that really hurt.  How come I am so stupid?”

Although my list doesn’t have anything impressive like, “Be able to quote nursery rhymes in Urdu and Swahili while juggling really small monkeys”, I am proud to say that I accomplished everything on that list!

What does your list look like?
A couple of more things…
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