Babies and toddlers have the CUTEST diapers decorated with Elmo, Mickey Mouse, flowers and even Caillou, but, tell me, what do the elderly get on (not IN!) their Depends, hmmm?! NOTHING. A big fat nothing. Day in and day out they slide into their big, stark white (not for long), plain, plain, PLAIN gigantic diaper with absolutely no flair. So, the point of this post is to make my case and then offer a solution.
First, let's preview what the youngest among us are privileged enough to have displayed on the outside of their absorbent, piddle-and-poo-catching garments:
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They even get to wear diapers that look like jeans!!
FYI, babies that are brought up wearing denim diapers grow up to wear pajama jeans. Not taking a stand either way on the pajama jeans. Just trying to keep it real (and make a subtle statement about pajama jeans).
But, back to the point of this post, WHY, I ask you, do those who depend on Depends not have more exciting options? This is 2011!
THAT HAS ALL CHANGED.
We've polled old people across the land to figure out what they love most and stuck it on the front of their adult diaper. This is just the beginning, folks. I am allowing you to get on the ground floor with this one and chime in with your suggestions on patterns and features that will make these Dependz (with a "z" to demonstrate a different flair, if you will) the talk of every Bingo hall, nursing home, mall walking club and church function out there. We are so excited to finally show you our first 4 styles for women! Men styles are still in the planning phase.
 |
| Older people love to get their cruise ship on, but don't you know those rough waters can make a lady leak? Even after she steps down from the ship and snuggles back under the afghan in her favorite chair, she'll want to remember her days on the water while her Dependz catches all that water she recently drank. |
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| Your grandmother is going to yell "BINGO!!!" when she runs into these babies at her local grocery store. |
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| Fox News can make an older person's heart sing, so I fully expect some "Hallelujah"s to spring forth from behind a walker when these are spotted on the CVS shelves. |
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| I think we all know an older lady or two who loves her some Angela Lansbury in "Murder, She Wrote". Let her take Angie with her to the bathroom! You know this list could go on FOREVER. We only have enough manpower and money to begin these four styles, but, like I said, we are always open for suggestions. Like, just the other day, a friend on Facebook named Adrian made shared these helpful words that we are exploring in our warehouse right now:
Thanks, Adrian! With enough help, we can finally make a stand for the elderly, or actually ANYONE who has to depend on adult diapers, and let manufacturers know that we've had enough of those huge white, plain pants. WE WANT PICTURES! And maybe even pockets! |
80 comments:
I REALLY needed that laugh!
Just freakin' hilarious, Kelley! Cargo Depends! I am rolling over here :)
Oh, Kelley, you have OUTDONE yourself this time....
You? Are hilarious!
I hope I die before I start regularly pissing my own pants. Is that insensitive?
I'd really like to roll around in your mind one day, it'd be all sorts of fun in there! This was hilarious.
Ok, this cracked me up. I saw a show last night about a grown person in their 20's who was addicted to living as a baby, including wearing adult diapers as a choice, not because of necessity. He would flip about this!
I'll take the Angela Lansbury depends, please. That is, when I'm old enough to need them. Anyhow, we share the same name so it's really a no-brainer.
Brilliant! You know those t-shirts that make you look skinny and you are wearing a bathing suit...what about one that has the illusion you are wearing a thong. That can be for the "Sexy and Single" line. Also one that has a fake tattoo on the top in the back in case they bend over and it shows...then it would be...wow she's sporting a cool tattoo saying "I'd rather be cruizin"..rather than OMG she's wearing Depends. The possibilities are endless.
Oh, I got one for ya! You can't forget Judge Judy! The old ladies really "depend" on her for their daily entertainment!
Ha! I think the only one missing is Depends with Activia.
That is freaking hilarious. Depends with bingo on them. Love it!!!
I don't think I could have laughed any louder!
As a person who often times as to put Depends on other people, I would really appreciate some designs on them. It would be great entertainment.
Ha ha this is so hilarious! I love the one with the cruise ship LOL!
LMBO I think they should make some with the picture of bikini panties in the front and a thong in the back. Just because a person wears Depends doesn't mean you can't be sexy :-)
Too funny! If I ever need diapers someday, they'd better be cool ones like these.
Lol! Totally 100% awesome and hilarious. How about some really obnoxious celebrity- because who wouldn't want to relieve themselves on them?
Genius!!!!!!!!!
Hilarious, Kelley!
You are so funny and creative! I have never seen pajama jeans. I agree, seniors should have fun Depends. I can imagine them walking around shouting "Bingo!" at opportune times (e.g., when their Depends fills up).
Be well.
xoRobyn
PS I've been having post feed probs for months but I'm still actively blogging, even if my posts aren't showing in your reader. =)
Those are seriously excellent ideas KKelley! If I were a corporate marketing exec, I'd monitor The Break Room for some ideas that might make me millions... You need to figure out how to make money of these schemes!
Oh, how I want me some of those "Murder, She Wrote" Dependz.
Not because I *need* them, mind you. Just because I love me some Angela Lansbury.
ps - Loved your hypothesis about pajama jeans and denim Pampers. Apples and trees, you know...
You have given me the best chuckle I've had today (and it's only 10h00 where I am!)...these are such good ideas you might even find yourself nominated to run for Senate!
Thank you for visiting me &, not only that, for following me as well!
Chuck Norris .... hummingbirds .... random words like "davenport" and "britches" ... my grandma's would have said "I stop for all garage sales!"
PS. I, myself, would wear the BINGO ones.
Oh My Gosh! Too funny! ROFLMBO!
I could have used dependz during my walk last weekend. would have reduced the port-o-potty disgustingness. i'd prefer mine decorated with mardi gras masks, though. just cuz.
I could have used dependz during my walk last weekend. would have reduced the port-o-potty disgustingness. i'd prefer mine decorated with mardi gras masks, though. just cuz.
Angela Freaking Lansbury.
With a smile.
Oh, that is priceless.
"Cabot's Cove will never be the same."
Or something like that...
Love it.
Oh my god, Angela Landsbury! Classic. Actually they're all pee-in-your-dependz hilarious.
You have such a generous spirit Kelley - always thinking of others and how to improve their lives. I applaud your effort!
In your opening paragraph what EXACTLY is the solution that you are planning to put into my Depends? Love your stuff as always! (well uh I mean your writing - you should probably keep your stuff in your Dipes! W.C.C.
I swear my mom does use the waist band to hold "things" and I am pretty sure it is a "oh so girly pink waist band. I bet Depends has been listening to you and is on the way to the really stylish diaper.
You do crack me up. Even my mom would die laughing at this one. I won't show it to her for fear it would hasten the end for her. She's a couple of months shy of 90.
TEST Will the html tag work in this post? Or will this just post with the weird stuff in there??
I don't want Angela Lansbury anywhere near my crotch. I'm just sayin.
I think i noticed 'Cars' sticking outta' the waistband of a very 'Senior' person, recently. I was inspired.
I jus' found your blog. Too, too funny. 'Scuse me whilst I go get me some more 'Cars', k?
~ Yaya
I laughed so hard at this post, and I made my husband read it! (It was the first blog post he's ever read.) But, hilarity aside, I really think you're on to something here. I think your idea is genius. And your concepts for senior diaper flair (Bingo, Cruise Line) are so creative. I could only come up with gingham and toille. Bravo!
First post of any that I have LOL at all week. Nicely done.
Is it weird that I already have Angela Landsberry stenciled on most of my boxer shorts?
L O L awesome job. I often wonder why there aren't adult underoos. I'd totally wear Ryan Reynolds on my undies. You know, the Green Lantern!!!
Did I just say that?
I just might have to invest in a set of these in a few years...
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