Moustached Women & You

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Please, everyone come on in to the Break Room for our meeting.  So glad you could make it!  There is some space to sit on the floor in front of the vending machine and close to really sweaty Gabe.  Gabe is the new custodian soley responsible for dusting off that lone orange chair you see at the top right of the Break Room.  Please give Gabe a warm welcome, but wash your hands thoroughly after giving him a high five!  Rest assured, we will fire Gabe as soon possible.  Welcome, Gabe!

On today’s meeting agenda are THREE things that I wanted to let you know…

#1: My post with Nickelodeon’s ParentsConnect is up this week and is called “13 Baby Names With Weird Meanings”.  If you are interested in reading it, click HERE.
#2: The smoke alarm in our bedroom chirps ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT.  My husband has changed the battery but this doesn’t fix the problem.  It is probably an electrical issue.  It chirps twice a minute.  We somehow live with it, but when people come over they can’t believe we live with that annoying chirping all the time.   This is when I open the trapdoor below them.  I don’t like people questioning my decisions.  The trapdoor always, always, always gets stuck which humiliates me and forces me confront my anger issue.  My impulsive actions make me feel really silly for getting so angry.  I try my best to play off “I was trying to shove you into my deep, dark, underground dungeon equipped with only 1/4 of a Vitamin Water, 3 marshmallows, some baby wipes and a ton of sappy Nicholas Sparks books”, but it never works.  They never buy it.  I have lost many friends over that smoke alarm.   I know this is an awkward story to share in our work Break Room, but I am hoping to receive your sympathy, a few potted plants, a ton of quarters for that vending machine and lots of gift cards.

#3: Juice in the City in Houston is partnering with Medispa and Nails on the Southwest Freeway to provide $90 worth of Elos Hair Removal for only $45.  If you are quite hairy and it’s getting scary, you better buy your Juice In The City deal in a harry.  (Don’t you want to throw a pie in my face right now?)  Seriously, you better “harry” and get your deal HERE because there are only 100 of these deals and these people below have already bought them:

http://www.womenwithmoustaches.com/

I lied. 

They love their moustaches.

MEETING ADJOURNED!

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