|These aren’t Bill’s glasses. I found
these hanging out alone in a tree in
New Orleans. Are they yours?
Bill lifts up his newspaper, but doesn’t find his glasses there. He walks over to the end table in the living room, still no glasses.
“Doris, have you seen my glasses?”
“No, Bill. I haven’t seen them. Let me help you look for them. I know what it’s like to lose things and I absolutely hate it. I hate that you can’t find yours. We’ll find ’em!”
Bill and Doris begin frantically looking everywhere. Doris checks the kitchen counter. Bill goes into his bedroom and checks the nightstand. They both look over every inch of the living room where Bill saw his glasses last.
Thirty to forty minutes of searching continues. It may have possibly been 5 straight hours of searching. Unsuccessful searching.
Finally, they face each other in exasperation.
Bill stares at Doris.
Doris stares back.
“Are you wearing my glasses?’
“No, Bill! Hahahahahahah!!!!! No, no, no, no, no, no no…these are mine.”
“No, Doris. Doris, those are my glasses. You are wearing my glasses. I couldn’t find my glasses because they are on your face.”
“Are you sure? Why would I wear your glasses? I have my own glasses. No, Bill I think these are mine. I can see fine out of them!”
Sighs heavily. “Yes, Doris, but…those are glasses made for men. They’re mine.”
She slowly takes them off.
**I will do what Doris did someday. Mark my words. And pray for me. Also, don’t stick me in the nursing home right afterwards.**
If you are interested in becoming involved with Juice in the City, a fun company that sources local deals in your area, please read the post by Gigi from Kludgy Mom regarding some upcoming opportunities. In my area (hello Houstonians!), Iron Cross Gym in Richmond is offering a month of gymnastics for $30 for your little one. Perhaps if Doris’s mom had given her the gift of gymnastics when she was young, she would have been a quicker thinker and more aware of her surroundings. Thanks to gymnastics lessons when I was young, I am now able to do a a round-off flip-flop topped off with a Russian the first thing every morning and I never lose my glasses (I had LASIK). Don’t you want to give such a gift to your child? Do you want her to wear someone else’s glasses when they are old? Don’t you see the obvious connection here?? Go HERE for your deal.