Ms. Super-Sophisticated-Wine-Know-It-All-Lady

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Kelley’s Break Room presents…

(sang to the tune of that REALLY big beer company’s famous line of commercials)

Real Women of Genius
(Real women of geeeennniu-hus!!!)

Today we salute YOU, Ms. Super-Sophisticated-Wine-Know-It-All-Lady!
(Ms. Super-Sophisticated-Wine-Know-It-All-Lady!!)

It’s 5 p.m. and time to step into your White House Black Market number for a full work day at your fancy schmancy wine bar to deal with another gaggle of giggling women celebrating “Girls’ Night Out” or a bachelorette party with their boas and funny glasses and whatnot.  You refresh your lip gloss, put on the most genuine smile you can muster and prepare yourself to deal with wine question after wine question after wine question after wine question after wine question.  If you’ve heard “Which wine goes best with Cheez-It?” you’ve heard it a hundred times.  Still, you smile sweetly & quote something about Cabernet Sauvignon, though you know Ms. Tipsy Tush didn’t hear it right. 
(This-isn’t-France)

You grit your teeth while pouring the tipsy lady and her friend, Ms. I-Don’t-Get-Out-Much, two nice glasses of the fruity red wine and then begin your spiel about the different types of vino.  All the ladies have their glossed over eyes glued on you and nod their heads quickly up and down when you say “fruity”, “dry”, “bouquet”, “mellow” and even when you drop the big word, “piquant”, into their happy little laps. 
(SOMEBODY HAND ME A DICTIONAREHHHH!!!!!)

When it comes time to taste the various wines, you see to it that all the lovely ladies have a wine spit bucket nearby.  When you hear “You want me to spit this OUT?” or “I thought this was an ice bucket.  HAHAHA!!!!!”, you don’t even flinch.  With your typical grace & style, you explain the cause & effect of drinking TONS of wine along with a dinner of 5 slices of cheese and 2 crackers and driving home later that night. 
(Somebodeh-get-Lushy-Lucy’s-keys)

So, crack open that $275,000 bottle of Shipwrecked 1907 Heidsieck, the most expensive wine in the world that to us probably tastes much like the boxed wine we bought at Target last week, Ms. Super-Sophisticated-Wine-Know-It-All-Lady, and know that you are the REAL reason we feel like wine connoisseurs when we absolutely shouldn’t. 

 
Ms. Super-Sophisticated-Wine-Know-It-All-Layhayyydehhhh!!!!!
*sommelier, if you are a bit too big for your britches


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For my fellow Houstonians: I can guarantee that you will find super nice people, wonderful tasting MEALS (not only cheese and crackers, people!), including sandwiches, flatbreads, pizza, salads and more, as well as a place to socialize “with sophistication and elegance” at Drix Wine Bar in the Katy and South Mason areas. For only $5, you get $10 worth of whatever is on the menu.  This would be a great time to check out the fun place and schedule your next Girls’ Night Out!  Click HERE to get your deal.



Random shout-out: Hi, Jennie in ND & Josh in TX!!  Thanks for reading & letting me know the Break Room serves as your “water cooler”. 🙂

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