by The 21st Century Mrs.
We all know that no one loves Pepto-Bismol more than Kelley, but here are some amazing facts you probably don’t know about her favorite over-the-counter drug.
#1: A Full Bottle of Pepto-Bismol is a Tremendously Effective Weapon
The next time you notice a burglar crawling through your dining room window, reach for Pepto-Bismol.
With the right amount of aim and force, everyone’s favorite antacid is a mean crime fighter.
#2 Pepto-Bismol Make Slip-N-Slides Even Better
Parents, you’re always looking for new and different ways to keep your kids from getting cholera. This summer, look no further than Pepto-Bismol.
Just add a few gallons of Pepto-Bismol to your water supply and turn on the hose!
Nothing says: “Get off my lawn, Giardia” like a yellow, plastic tarp covered in hot-pink, strangely mint-scented Pepto-Bismol.
#3: Pepto-Bismol is a Terrible Easter-Egg Filler
I suspect this is the kind of lesson Kelley had to learn the hard way, but Pepto-Bismol is not the kind of thing that can be contained by ordinary plastic Easter eggs.
#4: Pepto-Bismol is Flame-Resistant
After doing a little research, I uncovered a little-known fact about the Pepto-Bismol: you can hold a culinary blowtorch to a tablespoon of Pepto-Bismol and the Pepto-Bismol will remain unharmed. (Seriously. I checked.)
Given Pepto-Bismol’s seeming indifference to fire, I would like to recommend changing the game “Rock, Paper, Scissors” to something more like “Fire, Pepto-Bismol, Napalm”, where Pepto-Bismol covers Fire, and Napalm kills everything in a 10-mile radius.
I would also like to recommend that you keep some Pepto-Bismol handy in the event that you are confronted by fire.
Just a little Pepto-Bismol could turn this:
Into this:
#5: Every Night Kelley Serenades Pepto-Bismol with Jessica Simpson Songs
No research was necessary to verify this fact.
BONUS FACT: Did you know Pepto-Bismol was invented in 1901—17 years before penicillin was discovered? Way to be older and wiser, Pepto-Bismol.
That was funny stuff, right?? I think I might frame that one picture of me hugging the Pepto-Bismol and put it right in my kitchen. It was not long ago when I came across my guest poster for today, the 21st century mrs, because it was not that long ago that she started blogging. I was immediately drawn into her world of humor and illustrations. Posts like "The Five Kinds of Co-Workers I Wish Would Cease To Exist" and others like it always make me laugh out loud. So, when I asked if she would like to guest post on my blog and draw something that would make me giggle and she accepted, I ran down the street shaking my tambourine and kicking over mailboxes out of sheer joy. When she asked me what I would like for her to write about, I gave her no guidelines as I knew she would come up with something very funny on her own. You can only imagine how high my happiness level escalated when she came up with a post about PEPTO-BISMOL, my very favorite medication in the whole entire world! My very first post on this blog was all about the heavenly pink liquid. I know after reading that hilarious post up there, you will want to follow her on Facebook, Twitter, her blog and then will want to celebrate with an ice cold glass of Pepto. Cheers!
46 comments:
I knew that it could be used as a weapon because I have actually thrown a bottle of it at someone before. But I did not know about the others. I am curious to know about the slip and slide one.
I wonder if it has ever been used in a big tub for two women to wrestle in. Hmm... I doubt it since banana pudding wrestling sounds better than Pepto-Bismol wrestling.
I stand in awe of Pepto-Bismol. And I'm trying not to think about its name too much. Because it's weird.
Excellent guest post. But then, the Mrs. is always excellent.
Pepto and I are Besties. I even carry a bottle in my purse. But I wised up and got the tablets.
Additional Bonus Fact:
Pepto makes my vomit bright pink.
It has never once settled my stomach, but it has changed a rumbly tummy into a neon pink chucking stomach instead. Thanks for that pepto.
I am just glad you were responsible with this post and didn't actually suggest that anyone ingest Pepto-Bismol, which comes from the Latin, abysmal, which is exactly how it tastes.
Hilarious as always!
Thanks to this post, I'll be stocking my shelves I mean, how did I ever get by without Pepto-Bismol before? Whew, I'm glad I read this!
is it so sad that i enjoy the kids chewables?!
This lady is freaking FUN-NEY! Must go and see more of her stuff.
But what about the side effects - like turning your tongue black. You know how the morning after a heavy dose of Pepto, you brush your teeth then spit out that brackish blackened toothpaste foam? It now doubt cleans the pipes in the sink like so much Liquid Plumber. Look that up in your Pepto fact book.
I have no words, just pure and utter adoration! Lol!
It is always so much fun to read your posts.
you are way better at providing information then WebMD or Wikipedia for sure
Only a very creative woman like yourself could turn Pepto-Bismol into pure entertainment. My favorite graphic is the one above you caressing Pepto.
xoRobyn
color me speechless. ha! you crack me up!
This is the greatest tribute to Pepto Bismol ever created.
EVER.
I gave Pepto Bismol to my daughter once. It turned her tongue black. I freaked out and googled pepto bismol black tongue. Turns out the bismuth can react with sulfur in the saliva. Poor kid didn't want to go to school with a black tongue. So I brushed it with the only thing I thought would get rid of it..vodka...
Of course I didn't let her swallow it and I made her rinse her mouth out. It totally worked.
I thought it was genius of me to do that, but I may be the only one to think that...
In the name of all things flaming gay...I mean flaming pink...this cracked me up.
Oh wow. That was such a funny post! I always wondered about your free pepto-bismol thing. I'm not a pepto girl myself, but I haven't had it since I was a kid....maybe it's time to revisit the pink stuff?
Jesus I'm shaking the couch I'm laughing so hard. Flame resistant indeed!!!! Awesome to the max.
"Let's do this fire!" is just about my favorite thing I've seen all week. I feel safer knowing that it is in the house.
I'm with Mommy Shorts. The "Let's Do This" made my day.
I never thought to put it on the slip n slide ;)
Ah, we all know how I feel about my Mrs.
And how only she could drag me into a #murderparty.
She is awesome stuff.
I don't even know what to say. So flippin' funny!
This is fabulous!!!!! Totally laughed my ass off. 21 Century MRS., can you write 5 more reasons so I can laugh my thighs off?
LOVE me some 21stCentury Mrs! She always brings the funny.
I bet you cannot correctly guess how many times a day I say "let's do this fire!"
You really should have been an art director! I HAVE to know ... what program do you use to create all of your fabulous art??? I especially love the pepto smudges on the slip & slide boy's shirt. You MUST crack up at yourself when you are creating these!
You're a born comedian, do you know that?
(And I do know this drug, after my 3 years something of living in the US. And, having a terrible stomach ache just when I was attending a GREAT photography workshop in Seattle. (I nursed the stuff all weekend...)
Thanks for checking in on my blog. I appreciate knowing somebody out there is reading my posts. :-)
LOVE it! I had no idea it was flame resistant. wow - what is in that stuff?! lol
Hugging the Pepto Bismol? Perfectly fine.
SPOONING with the Pepto-Bismol? Grotesquely inappropriate.
Just givin' ya a framework, here.
Truth?
I have never been much of a Pepto-Bismol fan.
But the illustrations may have just helped me turn a corner. Brilliant.
So good! Nice work, 21.
I only reconsider life choices when attacked by Immodium thus far.
Great illustrations, very funny post and thanks for introducing us to your guest blogger KKelley, very nice!
I loved this.
And the drawings.
Now I want Pepto-Bismol. Even though it makes me gag.
I love this! Pink is my favorite color, and I hates me a rumbly tummy, so yeah. I guess Pepto Bismol + Clare = LOVE.
She's so funny! I especially love the line: "Let's do this fire!" I'm still laughing!
"Let's do this, fire!" - hahahaha! This post made me want to get out my tambourine too! Fan-freakin-tastic.
Pepto has never once actually worked for me. But I have never used it for these other uses. It's about time I started. Especially since I have joined the volunteer fire department. The guys are going to love me for this one.
Always love your drawings. THE BEST!
Wait, so if Pepto-Bismol covers Fire, and Napalm kills everything in a 10-mile radius, then...nothing kills Napalm? Maybe this needs to have a Spock element like on The Big Bang Theory. I'm not sure how exactly Spock could beat Napalm (because I am so not a Trekkie) but I suspect he could.
Also? That Pepto-Bismol slip 'n' slide kinda makes me want to ralf.
Did you know pepto bismol's not sold outside of the US? And I'm worried I'm on some interpol list for being a pepto mule? Apparently other countries still think of it as a veterinary drug only. pshaw.
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