3 Reasons Gary Busey Should Be Your Babysitter

In 1988, Gary Busey, the Oscar-winning actor, was in an unfortunate motorcycle accident.  He was not wearing a helmet and it is believed that he suffered brain damage.  Although he clearly has cognitive impairments from falling on his head, I do not think that should deter you from seeking him out as your babysitter.  As if the reasons were not obvious for picking him over the 20-year-old college student down the street who spends most of her free time practicing in her church's handbell choir, I have laid them out for you...
REASON #1: He can teach your kids extremely valuable life lessons condensed in an acronym that will undoubtedly help them later in life.  

F.U.N. = Finally Understanding Nothing

F.O.R.G.I.V.E. = Finding Ourselves Really Giving Each Other Valuable Energy

G.O.N.E. = Getting Over Negative Energy

F.A.I.T.H. = Fantastic Adventures In Trusting Him

F.R.A.U.D. = Finding Relevant Answers Under Deception

Here he is calling around town looking
for the 2-year-old that waddled off
under his watch.

 Reason #2: He gives your children incredible freedom to be themselves.

If freedom and free will mean anything to you at all, you will be happy to know that Gary will NOT watch your children closely. It is very likely that your children will be lost for days under his care, practically guaranteeing your children the opportunity to learn invaluable survival skills.  This is a priceless lesson.  So, unless you are a Communist, that should be reason enough right there.

Reason #3: He can teach your children about their endocrine systems.

Gary's knowledge of the endocrine system has been well-documented on the web.  Given his obvious knowledge of anatomy and physiology, what parent wouldn't want their child left in his care?  He is providing supervision and academic instruction all at once.  Lucky you.

Do you really need other reasons??  Yes?  Well, he is a father himself.  We all know that every father is a good father and, thus, a good babysitter.  So, there's your 4th reason.  I could come up with more but you don't have all day.  Really, I am hoping he doesn't win The Celebrity Apprentice because his schedule will be way too packed for the rest of us, if he does.  Minus his angry endocrine system outburst,  Gary seems to be a very patient, light-hearted, fun-loving man who does not take life way too seriously. I think he is a great example for all of us. 

A recent family picture from www.pumpchart.com.

 Give him a call
at 1-888-GET-BUSEY.
(But not for this Saturday night.  We're using him this Saturday night.  Thanks.)


Carri said... [Reply]

I heard that Donald Trump wants to run for president. I also heard that Gary Buesey wants to be his VP. Now that's a ticket I stand behind!

Mommy Lisa said... [Reply]

Dude - that is hilarious! p.s. I also love Eloise.

Monkey Man said... [Reply]

He is one sick puppy.

Oilfield Trash said... [Reply]


Kate said... [Reply]

I can't view the videos at work, but that family picture is freakishly hilarious.

laughingmom said... [Reply]

My kids are both teens and I still wouldn't let him near them! Very funny post!

Kristina P. said... [Reply]

He can also bring Meatloaf along to threaten the crap out of them and make them poop their pants when he yells at them.

Vivienne @ the V Spot said... [Reply]

hahahaha! What carri said! I'd be on board with that ticket.

XLMIC said... [Reply]

All I think about when I hear the name "Gary Busey" is Buford Pusser. Sorry, Kelley... even YOUR endorsement won't get him in my house ;-)

Tarja said... [Reply]

Dude, that is the most frightening picture of the Busey family I've ever seen.

I plan on calling Gary up immediately - I'm especially interesting in valuable vs. invaluable energy.

And hand bell choir? Is hilarious.

Desperate Housemommy said... [Reply]

You are so insightful. I had never even considered Gary Busey as a potential babysitter.

As an interim pastor for my church congregation? Sure.

But as a sitter? Don't know why I didn't think of that myself.

Annabelle said... [Reply]

I call dibs for accompaniment on Spring Break. Nothing says safety at the beach like Busey. He's way better than water wings.

Bless him, he's made me have to watch that damn show, just for his cra-cra-craziness.

I wish I could be his personal assistant.

W.C.Camp said... [Reply]

You forgot that Gary makes the perfect escort for Halloween night - even MASKLESS he can scare me!!

Jessica said... [Reply]

This is hilarious. He is just one more of the train-wreck people that we all can't help but watch so why not have him babysit. He would actually fit right in in my house.

Nicole said... [Reply]

Without you, what would I do for fun? Oh, wait, ding-ding-ding, hire Gary Busey to babysit and possibly reform my children into greater nightmares than they already are! That's what.

Breann said... [Reply]

To spend 5 minutes in your head... that would be such fun!
Are you SURE we can't take him for Saturday? Logan needs some sleep schooling and I am pretty sure The Busey is an awesome sleeper...

Colleen said... [Reply]

Hysterical. Of course you could probably simply put his face up there and it would be a good post. The man is fodder of funny posts. :)

Dawn said... [Reply]

Thanks for clearing up the whole motorcycle/brain damage thing... that excuse alone makes how he is okay.
Now what's his number again? My boys are acting TOO normal today.

Logical Libby said... [Reply]

Gary Busey scares me so much I have to turn the TV off if I see him. He's like a non-crispy Freddy Kruger.

Lazarus said... [Reply]

How you came up with this Kelley I'll never know, but it was muy funny, great job! By the way, K-E-L-L-E-Y = Keeping Everyone Laughing Like Eastern Yuppies. Ok, Ok, I dropped the ball on those last two words, gimme a B-R-E-A-K!!! Great post though...

Nick said... [Reply]

Very fuuny :) Gary obviously is in need of a large does of your Pepto.

A Beer for the Shower said... [Reply]

Reason enough for me to never buy a motorcycle.

Melinda said... [Reply]

Omg I so love that kooky man. I'm still catching up on Celebrity Apprentice shows I taped. You just have to love that he seems to be in his own world.

Matty said... [Reply]

Just watching him makes me CRINGE. Could-Really-Invoke-No-Good-Energy.

Deborah said... [Reply]

I'm kinda falling in love with him on CA. He's the best yes?

Lemons into Limoncello baby!

Vic said... [Reply]

he's creepy.....and i can't stand his voice!

Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him said... [Reply]

And he'd impart all kind of good oral hygiene to your kids. I bet he'd have them Crest Whitening all day long.

I'm going to give him a whirl as soon as I let Charlie Sheen go. He comes with two housekeepers. Goddesses, housekeepers, whatever.

The Empress said... [Reply]

I have always, always, ALWAYS loved his kind of crazy.

Post a Comment

Comments make me feel like I'm not talking to the wall. Don't get me wrong. I love talking to walls. Some of my best friends are walls. Still, I like hearing from you, so thanks!

Newer Posts Older Posts Home