In 1988, Gary Busey, the Oscar-winning actor, was in an unfortunate motorcycle accident. He was not wearing a helmet and it is believed that he suffered brain damage. Although he clearly has cognitive impairments from falling on his head, I do not think that should deter you from seeking him out as your babysitter. As if the reasons were not obvious for picking him over the 20-year-old college student down the street who spends most of her free time practicing in her church’s handbell choir, I have laid them out for you…
REASON #1: He can teach your kids extremely valuable life lessons condensed in an acronym that will undoubtedly help them later in life.
F.U.N. = Finally Understanding Nothing
F.O.R.G.I.V.E. = Finding Ourselves Really Giving Each Other Valuable Energy
G.O.N.E. = Getting Over Negative Energy
F.A.I.T.H. = Fantastic Adventures In Trusting Him
F.R.A.U.D. = Finding Relevant Answers Under Deception
|Here he is calling around town looking
for the 2-year-old that waddled off
under his watch.
Reason #2: He gives your children incredible freedom to be themselves.
If freedom and free will mean anything to you at all, you will be happy to know that Gary will NOT watch your children closely.
It is very likely that your children will be lost for days under his care, practically guaranteeing your children the opportunity to learn invaluable survival skills. This is a priceless lesson. So, unless you are a Communist, that should be reason enough right there.
Reason #3: He can teach your children about their endocrine systems.
Gary’s knowledge of the endocrine system has been well-documented on the web. Given his obvious knowledge of anatomy and physiology, what parent wouldn’t want their child left in his care? He is providing supervision and academic instruction all at once. Lucky you.
Do you really need other reasons?? Yes? Well, he is a father himself. We all know that every father is a good father and, thus, a good babysitter. So, there’s your 4th reason. I could come up with more but you don’t have all day. Really, I am hoping he doesn’t win The Celebrity Apprentice because his schedule will be way too packed for the rest of us, if he does. Minus his angry endocrine system outburst, Gary seems to be a very patient, light-hearted, fun-loving man who does not take life way too seriously. I think he is a great example for all of us.
|A recent family picture from www.pumpchart.com.
Give him a call
(But not for this Saturday night. We’re using him this Saturday night. Thanks.)