You know what insults my intelligence and the intelligence of all of our children? Easter egg hunts. From the majority of Easter egg hunts I've been involved in lately, there is no hunting involved. All you see are children being held behind a line like crazy Black Friday shoppers in front of an open field littered with pastel plastic ovals. Those Easter egg hunts should be renamed "The-pick-up-the-dang-Easter-egg-that's-sitting-in-plain-sight-to-everyone-for-miles-around-before-Jerry-Jr.-steps-on-your-dang-hand-game". Some area churches even stuff the Easter bunny into a helicopter so he can drop off a ton of egg grenades from way up in the air. The helicopter, although fascinating I suppose, does not provide any more of a "hunting" experience to the whole shindig as Eddie Sue can see just where the egg fell. Really, in the helicopter-assisted Easter egg hunts, the children ultimately look like they are racing each other because they are desperate for water and those Meals Ready To Eat packs (MREs) to drop out of the aircraft and into their skinny arms. It took me a minute to figure out that the children in the picture above were not in the middle of Afghanistan awaiting just that. Obviously, in modern-day Easter egg hunts eggs are sprinkled all over acreage of grass because if you let hundreds of candy-crazed kids loose in a forest where they could REALLY hunt for eggs under rocks, behind trees, underneath snakes, in the middle of a patch of poison ivy, at the brink of a waterfall or inside bears' mouths, you might lose an Easter egg or something.
Given that my sons have competed in many easy Easter egg hunts, we like to make things a little more difficult at our family Easter egg hunt at home. We don't let our children go to sleep at night until they have found them all. We start the hunt at 6 a.m. Easter morning. So that you will not join the hundreds in dumbing down our children, conduct YOUR own Easter egg hunt at home, peruse the list our 10 Hiding Spots For Easter Eggs That Improve Your Kid's IQ below and pick a few (or add your own!).
Right inside the exhaust pipe of your vehicle
Their toy box
Inside someone's pillow case
Underneath the patio deck
In the gutters
Anywhere in the attic
In someone else's shoes
In a real bird nest
Underneath the ashes in the fireplace
The egg carton inside your refrigerator
If you care about your kids' future, you'll take my advice! Don't do it for me. Do it for their IQ!!
For those that live in Houston that want something besides Easter candy, and especially those that live in Katy, you will not want to pass up the latest Juice In The City deal. There are a couple of days left to get it. It is for a really, really cute bakery called Ooh Laa Laa on Westheimer. For only $5, you can get $20 worth of yummy signature cupcakes, cakes, pies, cookies, pastries, coffees, teas, smoothies and more! There is even a cupcake bar there so that you and your kids can decorate your own. Cute idea, right?? I'll take my kids to that bar! If you don't want to make the trip inside their adorable store for sweets to eat, coffee and the unique gifts they offer, you can get them to deliver to you. They make really fun cupcake towers and dessert platters for parties. They even have a Drive-Thru! Go HERE to get your deal!
Who in the heck is KELLEY and why is her head so dadgum big in this sidebar? Is she a giant?
I sit in that orange chair up on the right, clean out exploded Lean Cuisines out of the Break Room microwave and re-stock the Cokes. If you want to know more about me, click on my right cheek or in-between my eyebrows.