My love for Orange Julius began when I was but a child. The mall I grew up going to all the time had the lovely, foamy, sweet, frothy, beautiful, tasty and delicious orange drink. If my mother would have asked me if I wanted to keep all of my teeth or get an Orange Julius at the age of 8, I would have slurped that thing down with teeny-tiny dentures in a heartbeat. At some point, the drinks stopped coming. I am not sure at what point the Orange Julius went away leaving me with a gaping hole in my heart, but I know it happened. I have been on a search for a steady stream of cups of Orange Julius (sometimes affectionately called "O.J.") to fill this Orange Julius-shaped hole between my pulmonary valve and the left ventricle but just below the left atrium of my heart for at least the past 25 years.
Twenty-five stinkin' years.
Chasing after a drink.
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| These cops apparently want some O.J., too. |
Call me an OrangeJuliusaholic to my face and I won't even get out my nunchucks. You'd be right. I've only been able to have about 5-7 drinks in the past 25 years, though. What kind of -aholic only indulges in the thing they love 5-7 times in 25 years?? I know O.J. is at The Riverwalk Mall in San Antonio and I have also seen him in Atlanta. I actually make sure to center our San Antonio trips around Orange Julius (take THAT, Alamo! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!). When I think of those Orange Julius visits, I usually see butterflies, big smiles, rainbows and mariachi bands (that last one happens only when I think of my San Antonio fling) surrounding myself as I drink, drink, drink drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink it all up.
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| My son falling in love with O.J. in San Antonio. |
So, you can only imagine how excited I was when I passed by a Dairy Queen in a country town about an hour from our house this past weekend and saw the words "ORANGE JULIUS" on the front of the building. I was wedged between two car seats in the backseat, so I wasn't able to propel myself out of the side window. My husband and my mother-in-law were in the front seats. I was trying to get my Go-Go-Gadget legs to stomp on the brakes, but the dang things must have needed WD-40. They were no help. Although I immediately began to hysterically cry and flail back and forth, the car kept barreling forward farther and farther away from my foamy, orange love. My rational mind knew we were trying to reach our destination on a time schedule. We were already lost and running late, but my Orange Julius-crazy mind wasn't paying attention. After my attempts to cut a hole in the roof of the car with my son's C3PO figurine failed (it turns out it is no substitute for a chainsaw), I whimpered silently in the back seat totally preoccupied with how we would encounter that mirage again.
We never did.
That is why it came to THIS at a DQ near my house yesterday:
"Welcome to Dairy Queen. What can I get you?"
"Well, I know I don't see anything about Orange Julius on your menu, but I was wondering if you sell any Orange Julius products?"
"Huh?"
"Well, I was driving past a Dairy Queen the other day and saw an 'Orange Julius' sign on the store. I wondered if this store also sold Orange Julius drinks."
"What is an Orange Julius?"
"You've never heard of an Orange Julius?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...I have no idea what you are talking about."
**Cue loud wailing and gnashing of teeth**
Please tell me as you sit here in the Break Room , you've heard of an Orange Julius before, haven't you??
I was out of the parking lot in seconds. Seconds, my friend. In front of the drive-through menu was a bumbling idiot one second and a puff of smoke and tire treads the next. I am hoping she thought our interaction was really all a bad dream. I know it was for me. The lengths one addicted to something will go to knows no bounds. She probably realizes that people have strange food addictions due to all of the people coming in to Dairy Queen to buy a Dilly Bar. Dilly Bar. Dilly Bar. Dilly Bar. Dilly Bar. Dilly Bar. Dilly Bar. This was her first encounter with an Orange Julius addict, apparently. I hate that I had to bring her with me to that ugly place all because of O.J. All I can tell you is that this OrangeJuliusaholic is BACK ON THE STREETS looking for that mirage and it ain't pretty. Look out!
45 comments:
Oh my orangey syrupy heavens.
You crack me up...
I am addicted to these orange donuts that I used to eat as a kid. I found a coffee shop that sells them but it's in a town 2 hours away. While on a road trip I google mapped the shop and made my husband make a 45 minute detour to get one or a dozen. My mouth watered...my heart leapt...then we get there and they were all "A what? Oh we don't serve donuts anymore" what kind of coffee shop doesn't sell donuts?! Donuts!!!
Dude, while I am sure this Orange Julius of which you speak is about 24 different kinds of awesome, when I am at the 'Queen, my drug of choice is the vanilla cone dipped in chocolate, so that it forms a hard shell. I salivate at the thought. Occasionally I jones for a Blizzard (now in a smaller size!) but most always it is the ice cream.
My condolences on OJ. Maybe the cup didn't fit, so they had to acquit?
OMG I LOVE ORANGE JULIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Point made. I believe that's me in that car with you chasing down those Orange Juliuses. They have them at a mall 45 minutes from me and I have been known in weaker days to travel to that mall and get me some. I can't find them either. Our town has a Dairy Queen, I'ma go check it out and see if they have it.
Go-Go Gadget legs?
Oh, Kelley, that left an indelible impression on my cranium. I felt your pain as you writhed in the backseat of the car. You have quite the way with words, my friend.
ps - I've noted that the Dairy Queen at the local mall carries Orange Julius products. I now understand that it is very, very, very, very, very....very wrong that I have never consumed one. Today? I will go and have one for you. And perhaps look into having one shipped to Texas. xo
I hear you ... i LOVE Orange Julius! Such good childhood memories PLUS they're just plain yummy!
We still have one at a mall less than 30 minutes away. I'd suggest moving closer to the drink you crave. It's totally a legitimate reason to uproot your family.
My mom once made Orange Julius at home. It was just as good as the store's version. I don't remember the ingredients, but this one sounds like it's worth a try. http://paulmayne.org/blog/2005/10/orange-julius-recipe/
I love Orange Julius, too. Our mall had it's own Orange Julius stand, but got rid of it last year. I was devastated!!! Thankfully, the DQ in the food court is now serving Orange Julius. *wipes brow*
bahahahaha! you're hilarious! YES! I KNOW ALL ABOUT ORANGE JULIUS! We used to have one at the mall I practically lived in, when I was very young. It's funny, just as you said, one day it was there and the next day it was gone. I remember that orange foam and how it tasted sooooo good! I feel your pain.
Oh, man, I haven't been in years! I also got food poisoning there, so I just stick to the yummy frozen goodness.
I have heard of it but have never had it.
SIGH, sad, miss my childhood, sad sighs. O.J. why have you forsaken me? What kind of world do we live in that our children don't know what an Orange Julius is?
I will make this my life's quest to find the elusive O.J.
After I pick myself up off the floor and clean up this puddle I just made while reading this.
Hmm, we had Orange Juliie (plural of "Julius," of course) in the Northeast but I thought the went bankrupt because they all disappeared. I had a great idea for a drink-and-salad meal: An Orange Julius Caesar Salad. Very healthy. Also, kudos Kelley, you're the first grown woman I've ever encountered who used the word "nunchucks!" Your family has their hands full, no doubt. Great post! (PS And I'm not just saying this to avoid being nunchucked)
Oh the humanity! How dare they not know!?!?!
I love Orange Julius. The last time I got one, I just got one for me and told my boys that they wouldn't like it as I slurped happily away.
Um, I had just got them some cookies, so they didn't need another treat.
But, I don't like to share.
Until today, I had completely forgotten about Orange Julius - but oh, how I did love those drinks in my youth. (What's IN them, I don't want to know. A little Orange? A little Julius? Sometimes it's better not to ask questions.)
And now, I pretty much want to spend my day finding an Orange Julius around here.
But I'm also a little afraid of disappointment. Like when you tell your kids how AWESOME the "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" specials are and then you see them and they...ummmmm....kind of suck.
Nothing against the holiday classics. But their mouths only move in two directions. And they never look like they're actually saying "Santa."
But I'm sure an Orange Julius would still be delicious.
It just has to be.
First you make me doubt my pronunciation, now you make me doubt the quality of my childhood?
This has been a tough week in the Break Room.
I love Orange Julius too! We used to have one in the mall when I was a kid! Man do I miss those drinks! Lucky me, my mom loved them too, so every time we went to the mall we got an O.J.!
I have heard of it. You are not alone. I haven't seen one in years, though. If I find one, I'll pack it in dry ice and mail it to you.
I lived on Orange Julius in high school. It's been about that long since I've had one. SOOOO yummy.
I've never hallucinated about seeing one, though!
Oddly enough, this past Friday, I introduced my son to the WONDER of the Orange Julius at a nearby mall (1 hr away)
He has been asking when we will be going to get more roughly every 17.6 seconds since he took the final sip of his first O.J. and then asked if he could finish mine.
I would find a supplier for DQ and pretend you own a franchise... You can probably order the stuff by the BARREL!
I grew up in Chicago near an Orange Julius and I totally get your addiction. Charming!
Orange Julius was my OTHER reason for going to the mall on Friday nights. First of course were the BOYS! Constantly drinking an O.J. and having a straw in my mouth that I would twirl around sudductively to all the boys worked like a charm...either that or they just assumed I was a slut :)
Dilly bar, did I just hear dilly bar, dilly bar, dilly bar what does that have to do with Orange Julius I want a dilly bar!
Besides Orange Julius has updated their drinks..Yeah baby, we're talking smoothies in a variety of fruits, yeah, smoothies, smoothies, smoothies, crap now I want a smoothie and a dilly bar!
So I figured I'd be a smartass and go to OJ website and find out what's in your neighborhood. Well the O Julie locator site is down and when you try to dig deeper it goes to DQ....WTF? Conspiracy or joke? Did you try the DQ OJ or chicken out for fear it would come with peanuts in the bottom and chocolate swirled throughout?
Were you ululating whilst trying to pry yourself from between those carseats to get to the Orange Julius?
This is one of your BEST, Kelley! The picture of the white bronco / OJ drink? Brilliant. And yeah, I'm familiar with your "orange, foamy love." I grew up OVERSEAS and it is my love too. Man, you brought back the memories for me big time.
And now. I'm totally jonesing for one. I might be getting the shakes and the cold sweats. Thanks.
Pretty sure every mall here in Utah has an O.J. I stop and buy one every day. In fact, I am drinking one right now. It's delicious.
Post made me laugh all the way through.
Orange Julius is my FAVORITE drink in the universe, and always will be. Always.
In heaven, there are spouting 3 foot in the air, Orange Julius fountains.
When I was 15 (A long, long time ago) I worked for a Bakery which sold Orange Julius's. On Sunday morning's I would be the first one there to get the ovens fired up and such and I use to help myself to glass after glass of the wonderful stuff. Was I stealing? That's what a business gets for giving a 15-year-old a key to there store! Good post, Kelley!
I loved the Orange Julius. You know what's good too? Those orange milkshakes McDonalds has at Halloween time. Nothing like an OJ except it's orange. But it tastes like a creamsicle, pure deliciousness.
So, I had to come over here, even though I'm on a blog break, to tell you I had my first dream about another blogger last night and it was you! You had a band called, Kelly's Break Room, of course. And no one knew you were a rock star on the side. You hid this fact very well from the rest of the blog world. I discovered your rock star status when I went to a Kings of Leon concert and you were the opening act. Afterwards, I went backstage and admired your white pants with appliqued flowers on them. I asked you to give them to me, which you did very obligingly. You had an extra pair of jeans with you, I guess. The next thing I know, we were in Geometry class together and you immediately started dissecting triangles and measuring their angles and I was like, "Whoa, this is too much for me." Which is the only realistic part of the dream, by the way. And as you were busy dissecting triangles and I was just sitting there, overwhelmed by Math, the teacher handed out our grades in the class. You had an A. I had a 32, which of course, is a bigtime F.
I have no idea what any of this means, but I thought I'd share it with you since-- A. You were the first blogger to appear in my dreams. And B. To see if you could make sense of any of this. And C. To see if you really do own those white pants, because they sure were super cute and I really would like to have them or at least borrow them.
oh crap...you know i love you...but...ahem. i don't like orange julius..AHHH! i said it! i'm sorry, forgive me, but it's true. my hubs LOVES it and i can't handle it. BUT....at the grocery store by me they sell orange julius packets! have you ever tried them??
Oh yes - I am very aware of Orange Julius! We had an Orange Julius at our mall a long time ago. It has since left and I haven't seen one since. bummer
I thoroughly enjoy Orange Julias! Our mall had one as well and then for some unthinkable reason they demolished it and we no longer have one. BUT, thankfully, my grandmother has a tried and true recipe for a delicious orange julias. If you're interested, just let me know. :)
jamie{dot}firefly{at]gmail{dot}com
Okay, now I need to make Orange Juliases this weekend! Thanks so much for stopping by me little writing blog. It's become a new, fun thing for me to try. :)
I've tried making my own, but they just aren't the same. What's your secret, Julius? Why won't you tell meeee????
Oh. My. Gosh. I am *so* finding a DQ with an Orange Julius inside. I miss those things!
um, the orange julius is responsible for my 20 pound weight gain my freshman year of college. and anyone who works at a dairy queen and is all 'what's an orange julius' should be punched directly in the neck. and by a hand sporting knuckle rings. the end.
Okay.... they totally removed all of our orange juilius' from the mall... or is it orange juliui? I don't know.
BUT they have them back now, with the dairy queens and that triple berry one... OMG
Here in this house, we loved OJ. But just about the time we were old enough to realize how much we loved it, and also that we could drive ourselves to the mall to get some, they went away. And even today, we think they went away permanently. I can't believe the exist somewhere but not everywhere. Clearly there is a whole passel of 30-50 year olds who were raised on the stuff and would drop dead if one came to a town near them.
The thing I've always wondered is what on earth was in those things? How did they make them so damned good? Without being to sicky sweet gross. How did they do it???????
I'm hoping that all this talk of Orange Julius will get the owner's attention and you can tell them that here on the east coast, we'd like some, please.
I can practically taste that orange julius. Yum...
It's been a long, long time since I last had an OJ. Too long!
Somewhere buried deep in my recipe PILE (and I mean that literally) is a recipe for Orange Julius I got who knows where because I have an unnatural love the Orange Julius myself. I even dated a guy off of Match.com just because his name was Julius. I lie not.
If I ever dig it out I will share with you.
I wasn't a fan, but I get it. Blizzards were my thing and I'd have to kick your butt out of the DQ for asking for the OJ. DQ is the OG of frosty beverages!
Those drive thru attendants never get it. I like to ask the DD one if the munchkins are organic. They never laugh.
I loved Orange Julius as a kid!!! So yummy yummy! It left our mall, but one opened up a few years ago in Pittsburgh, where we did all our shopping. Of course, it opened up just as I married my husband and moved every 9 months for damn military training.
Were you talking about MY country town? Because my town has a brand new Dairy Queen with an Orange Julius sign. Sadly, I have not yet had an Orange Julius yet. But, I sure have talked about it a lot... So, maybe in honor of your post I shall have one tomorrow!!
What country town do I live in, you ask? Why, it would be so much more fun if you hop over to my blog and find out... :-)
Okay, I have to GO. I just discovered your blog, and I have to get right back to reading, and laughing, and then going back and reading ALOUD every single word you've written to my husband.
He's thrilled, let me tell ya.
You are funny, funny, funny. Can we be BFFs?
It is official- I have to go to the mall to get one now.
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