Funny Flab Facts & “Tampax To The Max!”

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I’ve got two things for you today- the winner of this round of Captcha Balderdash and a funny, funny short story.  Game stuff first…  There were so, so many funny definitions, no doubt.  I know it must have been hard to choose your favorite!  Kelley (beautiful name, right?) of Kelley Simpson Photography won for her hilarious definition of  FLABULATE :

“This word describes the action or process that takes place in one’s legs while running or vigorously exercising. The extra fat, flab, or any other non-muscular mass on one’s legs begins to shake, slam, jiggle, and slap against itself. It usually occurs while running in a public place or while wearing shorts. Imagine running down the street and feeling the fat on your legs moving faster than your feet causing pain in your legs and butt area. This effect can often cause the feeling of bruising in one’s rear end and hamstring area. The jarring motion of flabulation has been known to cause severe wedgies and commonly deters one from running any longer perpetuating the flab production and in turn creating bigger flabulation problems. If a person continues to run or exercise through the flabulation pain, the effects of it will eventually diminish and no longer be a problem… or so I’ve heard.”

So funny and so true!!  YAY, KELLEY!! I think many of us could relate… 

Kelley’s photography business is based out of Rancho Santa Margarita, CA.  According to her “about me” page, she worked in law enforcement for 21 years but had to retire from it due to a hand injury.  She found her new place in photography and really has a gift for it!  Please stop by Kelley’s place, enjoy her beautiful pictures on her website and say hello on her blog by clicking here.

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Now…the short story…

Men, it has to do with tampons, but…please don’t go anywhere.  It’s not going to get graphic!  This “Tampax To The Max” billiard tournament skit from SNL absolutely makes me laugh out loud every time.  Not only do I love the dialogue, Greg Stinks’ (on the right) hair-do makes me giggle all by itself…

A few years ago, I worked with my friend, Gail, at M. D. Anderson Cancer Center.  When we weren’t seeing patients, we would sit next to each other in our office and giggle about funny things that happened that day.  Although there is nothing funny about cancer, of course, we still managed to laugh about things we did, said or saw.  It was sometimes hard to get any work done.  As our lunch hour was wrapping up, I saw Gail get up, discreetly grab a tampon from her desk and scurry off to the ladies room.  I just kept clickclickclickclickclickclicking away on my computer.

Five minutes passed.

Clickclickclickclick.

Maybe six.

Then Gail reappeared and switched something out in her purse.

She had accidentally grabbed string cheese.

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