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| http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/41110273/ns/today-entertainment/ |
I was going to wait until Wednesday to announce the Captcha Balderdash winner, but I changed my mind...for various reasons that would bore you to tears. Anyway, Ricky Gervais is set to arrive at the Break Room any minute now. He had a busy night at the Golden Globes last night but agreed to come over here to hand out ONE more award. I told him that I'd pay him 3 million (grains of sand) to do it. I don't think he heard the "grains of sand" part. I actually didn't say that part out loud.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
(Opens door to the Break Room)
ME: RICKY!!! You're here already!! Wow. You actually showed up. This is AWESOME!! I am soooooooo excited!! When we're done with this whole awards thingy, can we talk for hours on end about the British version of The Office? You know...the ORIGINAL Office.
RICKY: "Alright, that'll be enough. I need to be going soon. Ahem. Ello, everybah-eh. You all look absolutely splendid. I don't hahv much time to bay hanging 'round this sih-ee blog, but Karley said she'd pay me handsomely for my time. Three mih-in dah-ahs, right, lass?
Me: Ummm...It's Kelley and I actually meant grains of sand. Three million...grainsofsand.
RICKY: Did you just say THREE MILLION GRAINS OF SAND??? I am not bluh-ee believing this rubbish. I want to bluh-ee give you a bluh-ee nose. I want to bluh-ee make your bluh-ee face all bluh-ee. After I'm bluh-ee finished, I'll drink a bluh-ee Bluh-ee Mary and another bluh-ee Bluh-ee Mary and another bluh-ee Bluh-ee Mary because I'll be so bluh-ee agitay-ed from giving you a bluh-ee nose for being so bluh-ee stupid. Actually, I'm knackered just bluh-ee thinking about the whole bluh-ee ordeal. I need to take a bluh-ee nap now. FAREWELL!
Oh, well. Good riddance, Ricky! Actually, I am very excited to be the emcee of this award show because I get to be the one to let you know that the very clear crowd favorite was none other than....
Kristen from Fine, How Are You?
Although you are all winners in my book, Kristen's definition for CLEAVUMBS received the most votes. This is not hard to believe as Kristen is seriously a funny, funny lady. I love catching up with her life via her fun, light-hearted blog (find it by clicking HERE). She defined "cleavumbs" this way:
It is in the same word family as Toe Jam, Belly Button Lint, Boogers and Sand in the eye. Cleavumbs are when you remove your bra and pieces of lunch, cookie crumbs, sweater fuzz, backs to your earrings, bobby pins, etc. come tumbling out. It is accentuated by ample cleavage.
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| The Cleavumbs Catcher Size XXXXXXXXL |
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| Think of this...in your bra. Nice, right? |
I seriously think Kristen should go ahead and let me go into business with her to develop..."The Cleavumbs Catcher". This device is basically a little tray that is inserted right in the middle of your bra. Stick with me here. Think of the tray that sits at the bottom of your toaster to catch all of the bread and Pop Tarts crumbs. Now, ladies, think of a more comfortable version of the toaster tray...in the middle of your bra. At the end of the day, you slide that try out and either throw all lunch crumbs, sweater fuzz, earring backs and bobby pins away or collect it all in a huge Ziploc bag to sort through later. Some of your cleavumbs can even be saved for a trail mix. Sounds awesome, huh?
(Congratulations, Kristen!)
Want one??
(Congratulations, Kristen!)
20 comments:
First in the Break Room, homies! All the Saltines and packets of Splenda are mine.
Firstly, Gervais could make himself a bluhhy island with 3 million grains of sand. What's he bluhhy winging about!
And I like my cleavumbs. They're useful in survival situations. Extra rations for me instead of my small children.
WOW - I feel like I should have dressed better today to receive my award! Or at least have worn two different pairs of shoes. I am however, wearing a lovely mix of clothing by the likes of Target, Levi's and Victoria Secret. Unfortunatley Vicky doesnt have a Cleavumb Catcher Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder.... YET, but when the team of Kelly&Kristen arrive with their new-fangled crumb catching wonder bra, they will no longer be a Secret! And Erin, no worries, you can "catch" the crumbs right into a convenient snack bag for later....
Thank you Kelley, you often make my day, put a smile on my face, and encourage me to try to add humor to an otherwise monotonous day sometimes...
By the way, did you get those grains of sand from your bra when you were playing in the sandbox with the kiddies?
That was an awesome one.
Congrats.
HAHAHAHA ... loved the awards ceremony! Thanks for a morning laugh.
oxoxo
Denalee
Love it! I'll take two.
I love the definition AND the business idea!!!
So funny!
And Ricky was HILARIOUS last night on the golden globes.
I could see Dolly needing one of those. Yeah, Ricky was kind of a bit off last night, huh? BTW...if you have a moment I'd love to talk to you about an opportunity.
Thanks
So are you saying that I shouldn't be eating everything that's falling into my cleavage??
Ricky's interpretation of what must be going on in Hugh Hefner's bedroom had me just about peeing my pants!
My cleaveumbs have caught a disturbing array of crap
Yeah, I'm a fan of the REAL "The Office".
And if you could hook a gal up with a cleaveumbs-catcher, I and my bra would greatly appreciate it.
"Trail mix"... *snort*...
I loved this definition... I voted for it because it was the best. Even better than MINE. lol
damn it - I thought the competition was on who got the LEAST votes. I got my tux dry cleaned and everything!!
Never mind - well done Kristen grrr...
BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN
Why American men should boycott American women
http://boycottamericanwomen.blogspot.com/
I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?
American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.
This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.
BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!
I will not pout that I didn't win this round of Balderdash. No. I WILL, however, pout that I don't have enough...uh...CLEAVE...to be worthy of collecting UMBS. Because I really think that the nifty contraption you thunk up sounds like fun, Kelley. By the by, a few more comments have trickled in for you @ my place since Friday. Thanks again for coming over to play!
First, I'd like to say that this Boycott American Women dude is seriously harshing my mellow.
Second, cleavumbs is perhaps the best word ever. I'm disgusted by the thought of cleavumbs trailmix though.
I'm bummed that I missed this round of Balderdash. But I would've lost anyways.
Only if I get the cleavage too. My boys just aren't big enough to collect trail mix. I'm making a sad face now.
I love some Doritos in my cleavumbs just this afternoon.
Of course I dug around in there, (okay, okay, it felt good!) felt myself up, found the chip, and promptly ate it.
A) Kristin is hi-LAR-ious. As is her definition.
B) Bah humbug to B.A.W. Boycott me all you want, I'm already happily married to a man who recognizes me for the wonderful gift to his world that I am. Good luck to you.
C) I could totally use a Cleavumbs catcher. Then I could hold my car keys there while I run, too.
D) I have a confession. I was going to enter a few rounds ago but my captcha word was too lame (or I was, but let's not split hairs). Later on, I got a word that would be great for captcha balderdash, so I wrote it down along with my awesome definition and saved it in my phone, which unfortunately crashed and lost my definition. Most likely as a result of my attempt at captcha balderdash. Hanging my head in shame.
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