Today, we salute YOU, Ms. Luby's-Cafeteria-Worker-And-Food-Scooper

Each month I try to salute an "Underappreciated Lady of Industry" (formerly called "Real Women of Genius") with a song.  The previous ladies that have been honored include Ms. Salad-Bar-Stocker-Lady, Ms. Wal-Mart-Greeter-And-Receipt-Highlighter and Ms. Tortilla-Chip-Basket-And-Tea Refiller.  These songs only make sense if you are familiar with the Budweiser "Real Men of Genius" songs with which I'm sure most of you are well acquainted! Patiently waiting on the sidelines for her turn has been...

www.phlegmfatale.blogspot.com
Ms. Luby's-Cafeteria-Worker-And-Food-Scooper.

She could have thrown a fit, broken dishes against the wall, yelled obscenities at me like Ms. Tollbooth-Operator-And-Change-Maker (who, as you can see, has NOT been featured yet because of that sassy attitude) when I came to frequent her restaurant for having to wait months for her debut, but...the Luby's lady didn't.  She is a lady of class and one to be admired.

Growing up, we always went to the same Luby's and had the same lady roll around to our table with her cart of tea, water, sugar, napkins and small snakes dipped in honey and rolled in pecans.  (If you caught that last part, you are definitely reading this post and have been designated to receive all of my valuables when I die.  Be sure to mention that part below if you want some sparkly diamonds).  I always wondered if she wanted to be the lady who cut my fried fish in half for the LouAnn Platter or if she coveted her position on the floor refilling tea.  I think she loved that tea job.  She was always smiling anyway.  Maybe it was because I followed her around tickling her right in her fleshy armpits.  I don't know.  All I know is, it's Luby's turn!

Kelley's Break Room presents...

"Unappreciated Ladies of Industry"

(Unappreciated Ladies of Induuuuusstreeee-eeee!!!)

Today we salute, YOU, Ms. Luby's-Cafeteria-Worker-and-Food-Scooper

(Ms. Luby's-Cafeteria-Worker-and-Food-Scoo-oooooper!!!!!!!)

It's another day with your head under the hot heat lamps while your hands swelter in the sauna made by the plastic gloves, but you don't care.  You don't care because scooping up beans, squash, potatoes and Salisbury steak is the game and, after all, Ms. Luby's-Cafeteria-Worker-and-Food-Scooper is your name. 

(Don't you go be confusing me with Ms. Picadilly!!!!!)

You pride yourself in how quickly you can plop a dollop of tartar sauce by the fried fish while simultaneously passing it to the left without dropping eye contact with your customer because you know it all comes down to how quickly that line moves and all eyes are on you.  That is why it burns you up when that little girl...that old lady...the teenager on her phone...and that wrinkled old man...can't....decide...what...they...want.

(These-slow-people-'bout-to-get-pelted-with-some-old-hard-dinner-rolls)

You enjoy your job because you used to call yourself a "people person" and turnip greens used to just call your name, but the stress...and the heat lamp burn...sometimes becomes too much.  You have begged and begged to be moved to the jello and salad area at the beginning of the line because of the cooler temperatures and also because of the fact that nobody hardly ever wants salad.  Their eyes are glued to the liver and onions, which absolutely would allow you to have that much needed break.  But, nope...your manager wants you right in front of the steamin' macaroni and cheese...that always needs to be refilled.

(Doesn't anybody ever want any of those dang, healthy-for-you steamed CAAAAAA-HAAAAARROTTTTTS?!?!?)
So, crack open a new package of sauna gloves, Ms. Luby's-Cafeteria-Worker-and-Food-Scooper, and know that your smile and efficiency are the REAL reason people return to Luby's again...and again...and again...and again (also, that sweet tea hits the spot, as does that red jello...and that chocolate pudding...).

Ms. Luby's-Cafeteria-Worker-and-Food Scoooooooooooper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.blisstree.com/

P.S. I know that the Lunch Lady above is a school cafeteria worker, but how could I NOT include her lovely picture?  She would've switched over to Luby's if it hadn't been for the school hours she loved so much.  By the way, if you love a song about Sloppy Joes, Slop-Sloppy Joes and navybeansnavybeansnavybeansnavybeans as much as me, you might ask Santa to buy this for you:










Help me get rid of this blasted tree!


Are you supplyin' the Marlboros? The beer?

I never post on the weekend, but this tree got me so upset, I had to post.  I am starting a petition to get this tree chopped down RIGHT HERE in the Break Room.  It is obnoxious and is absolutely a fire hazard, not to mention a bad influence for the children.  I see him every time I go to Target.  I used to feel sorry for him because he was all alone in the parking lot, but now?  Now I want to chop down his sorry behind.  All he does is smoke and cuss all day and put our community at risk for a wildfire.  The ashes he flicks on the parking lot are another thing that CHAPS MAH HIDE!  Have you ever seen the amount of ashes a tree-sized cigarette can produce??  Guess what cleans up that mess?  YOUR TAX DOLLARS!  He doesn't even have a job to pay for his dang cigarettes (not to mention legs to go and buy them. Someone's supplyin' 'em and, believe me, I'mma find out who!).  If you care about the safety and welfare of the children, will you PLEASE sign my petition to help clean up our parking lots?  Just write your name down in that comment section below and help me get that tree either chopped down or moved to another part of town.    If you aren't doing it for you, at least do it for the kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiids!!!!!!!!





Top 8 Reasons I Don't Participate in Black Friday





#1 I like to sleep.















http://www.geardiary.com/

#2 I would have to pee as soon as I got into this line and for every 30 minutes after that due to being so anxious and nervous over losing my place in line if I step out of it to pee.  Plus, I'd have only two options: that grassy hill or the behind the bumper of that white VW bug...or that tan SUV...or maybe by the shoes of the lady in the red sweatshirt...



http://www.syracuse.com/

#3 I don't need jeans that bad.  Let these ladies have their pick of the Lee litter...and let that man in the orange hat have that turkey fryer to himself.





http://www.atomiculture.blogspot.com/

#4 I'd stand in that blasted line for HOURS, get my pinky toe crushed by a big, sweaty stranger and nearly die of thirst only to have that man hand the very last coveted flippin' Big Foot to the lady next to me.  



http://www.digitaltrends.com/

#5 No, ma'am.  I am not a fan of hyperventilation and I feel it coming on...right now...heeheeheeheehee...


 
#6 I enjoy it when my 2-year-old and 6-year-old sons cry and cry and wail and moan and cry and cry like newborns starved of milk when they realize the toy they've wanted their entire long, long lives could not be secured because I did not participate in Black Friday


http://www.geardiary.com/
#7 I probably would run into the store like these crazy nutcases, reach the back at record speed, forget what I came in there to buy in all the chaos, slow to a relaxed stroll and feel stupid for getting up so early just to peruse the shampoo and conditioner aisle.


#8 I like to sleep.


Were you out there?
Tell us, tell us...what was it like?








Help me with my pajama collection, pretty please?

St. Louis Cathedral
Well, I said I wasn't going to post again until Monday, November 29th, but you know I just can't stay away.  Thank you all for the anniversary wishes last week!  Some of you said you hoped I did something fun for my anniversary outside of the Break Room.  We did!  My husband and I went to New Orleans for three days.  Some of you may be groaning and asking why in the world we would want to go to NOLA.  I think it is a great place to visit.  It's the closest American city to us with so much history.  I won't bore you with the things we did and places we saw, however.

I am posting because I need your help.  My mother-in-law will be coming to visit after Thanksgiving.  This means that I need to step up my pajama collection.  I have been agonizing over which pajamas to wear around the house while she is here.  I must give up some of my former choices and need your help in making new ones.  What do you think?

Do you think my MIL will approve of these lovely footed ones?

I have never seen an episode of "Bananas in Pajamas" but am pretty sure the person that created the show was heavily influenced by illegal substances.  I am thinking my MIL would approve of these pajamas, too.


I could totally abandon the footed pajamas and just roam freely in some muumuus.  I found this lovely lady on the left on the blog Slimbolala: Posts, Pictures & Pointless Ephemera and it totally cracked me up!  This is how he said he remembers the ladies in New Orleans where he grew up.  I didn't see any of those ladies in NOLA, unfortunately.  Hold on...  I'm still laughing at "I knew you when you was just a baby".  Haaaaa!!  Okay, back to the muumuus I need you to help me decide between.


MUUMUU #1: Homer Simpson's Muumuu


MUUMUU #2: A simple, nice, floral number


MUUMUU #3: A matching set for the MIL & me

I took the picture of the two ladies above at McDonald's one day at lunch.  I know someone I know must know them, so I cropped the picture a bit.  Maybe I can ask for the pattern and get a matching set for my MIL and me.  I could lay it out on her bed as a welcome-to-our-home gift!  What do you think?

Seriously, Break Roomers, you can see I've got some tough decisions to make.  As always, your input will be extremely valued!

Happy Thanksgiving!!









A little Thanksgiving rap anyone?


During the two weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, Gigi over at Kludgy Mom has been featuring Thanksgiving-related posts that were submitted by many of her readers.  All of the submissions were compiled into an e-book that can be found by clicking on that lovely picture on the left.   Initially, all of the posts were submitted with the idea that the best three would be picked to appear on her blog and the rest would be featured in the The Thanksgiving Table e-book.  Since there were so many great posts, Gigi found it very difficult, actually impossible, to pick only three, so all of the posts are being featured on her site in the order submitted.  Because I am such a procastinator, I was one of the last submissions.   I submitted a Thanksgiving rap.  The "on-air" date for my little ditty is not until December 3rd. 

Soooo...if you are in the dingdingdingduhduhdingding, dingdingdingduhduhdingding...Ice, Ice Baby mood NOW and want to hear some Thanksgiving lyrics to the tune of "Alright stop, collaborate and listen...", click on the e-book above and turn to page 44 for some "Nice, Nice Gravy".  Even if rhymes about Pilgrims aren't your thang, you will definitely enjoy the fun stories and great recipes found within the pages of The Thanksgiving Table.




Embarrassing Moments...and a few other things

Come on in!  Ummmm....I am only going to be here for a few minutes because I need to make my way over to The Meditative Mom's site, but feel free to make yourself at home.  I am guest posting over at there, you see, with a story about my most embarrassing moment involving my HORRID hearing and those three little words...  I need to get over to her site soon because I want to meet and greet people.  And hand out cookies and punch.  Because we are blog homies, I put a stash away for you.  I hope her dogs didn't get to it... 

Before I go, I wanted to tell you a few things:

#1 My husband and I celebrate 11 years of marriage tomorrow, November 20th!  Yay!  Eleven years!  Actually, I'm really celebrating for my husband's sake because he has to live with me.  Lucky dog.

#2 I have been meaning to thank Rashelle Workman over at No. 2 Pencil Stat for the nice "Irresistible Blog Award" she passed my way a week or so ago.  She is a fiction writer whose book, Distorted, is set to be published in June 2011.  Her novel is about five people helping "a young woman decide between following her heart and losing her soul."  Congratulations, Rashelle!  Because their blogs make me smile consistently, I am passing this award on to Joey at Big Teeth & Clouds, Stephanie S. at A Day in the Life of a Grad Student's Wife and Kimberly with All Work and No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something

#3 Aren't sloths just adorable?  Don't you just want to take him home and let him sleep beside your bed in a sleeping bag?  Feed him Lucky Charms in the morning?  Brush his hair every day?  Actually, I'm having a bit of dilemma here.  I can't decide between  Sloth A or Sloth B.  Which one? 

Sloth A?


Sloth B?

"Sloth"...from The Goonies...  *Sigh*

Thanks for your help!  Now click on the "Instant Transporter Button" below to be whisked to my embarrassing post over at The Meditative Mom's site in seconds!

_________________________________________________________

Also, be sure to check out...
The Blogging Mavens Series:


Introduction from Christina at A Closet Writer- 11/15
Writing Mechanics from Missy with Wonder, Friend- 11/16
Using Twitter to Grow Your Blog from Liz at A Belle, A Bean & A Dog- 11/18
Finding Pleasure in Your Work from Crystal at Crystal & Company- 11/19
Taking Your Blog to the Next Level with Holly at June Cleaver Nirvana- 11/20


Developing Creative Content for Your Blog


Almost weekly I am asked "Where do you come up with this stuff that you write??"  It is mostly by people with straight jackets in their hands.  Each time those suckers get that dang jacket on me, I have been able to quickly slide out of it like Houdini hungry for some linguini.  I really have never sat down and told the people that ask about my secret vault of ideas and methods of conjuring up the nonsense I lash out at this blog week after week.  When Christina from A Closet Writer approached me to be one of the six "Blogging Mavens" to address the issues of developing content for blogs without a straight jacket in her hand, well, I knew it was time to come clean.  I have never written specifically about blog writing in the Break Room, so if this turn of events today is making you cranky, feel free to watch Falco's 1984 "Rock Me Amadeus" video and come back later this week.  I realize that not all of you that read this blog are actually bloggers...
Falco - Rock Me Amadeus
Uploaded by trashfan. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.



Are you still here?  HIGH FIVE, MAN!  Okay, the Blogging Mavens are comprised of the five lovely ladies (plus me) pictured in that nifty little box at the top of the page who are joining together for a week-long "blogging basics" series.  Each day we are addressing a different topic regarding blogging.  Missy with Wonder, Friend wrote a very informative yet entertaining post yesterday about grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc.  Over the next three days, Liz, Crystal and Holly will be addressing other issues related to blog writing that you will not want to miss!  You can find their awesome blogs by clicking on their names above.  But today, class, we are talking about developing creative content for your blog.  Although it may be obvious, I believe in order to do this, you must...

Be true to your THEME

Before you can begin to generate content for your blog, you have to decide what type of blog you want to write- humor, health, fitness, sports, parenting, etc.  I am drawn to blogs that are consistent in the type of information they provide.  I know I can always turn to The Flying Chalupa, The Blog O' Cheese and Not Worth Mentioning for funny and original content.  I know that I'm Gonna Kill Him will amaze and entertain me with her wonderful and humorous writing about her husband.  Fun stories about raising children, great recipes and blogging tips will always be found at Kludgy Mom's place.  There are so many blogs out there that I love reading each week because I know what I can expect to find there.   Before you can create great content for your blog, you need to decide upon your overall theme. 

Be true to your AUDIENCE


If you are familiar with your theme, then you are likely familiar with your audience.  Who is reading your blog?  Who is it that you want to read your blog?  Do you want mothers, fathers, singles, men, women, 'tweens, grandparents, bagggage checkers, taxi drivers, pizza deliverers or florists to read your blog?  Think of them when you type out your post.  I have often heard or read about bloggers saying that they will just write whatever it is they want and if people like it, great.  If they don't, great.  I obviously believe you should be true to yourself when writing and write about topics and ideas that are reflective of your interests.  However, if you want people to return to your blog, you should give a rat's rear about your audience and pay close attention to the comments you receive on your blog.  Which type of posts attract most of your readers and comments?  The key to great content is tailoring your post to fit your audience.

Be true to your BOUNDARIES

It is important to make a deal with yourself about topics, issues or people you will or will not cover on your blog.  For example, I have strong opinions when it comes to faith, politics, raising children, economics and the like.  Not long after starting this blog, I decided that I did not want to broach these topics on my blog, though I am not opposed to engaging in conversations about them elsewhere.  In addition, I decided that I would not share really personal stories about people that I love, including my parents, sister, husband and children unless the story fit in with the theme of my blog and was approved by them first.  Deciding upon boundaries for your blog helps it be more consistent and also helps you narrow your focus when choosing a topic.

Be SPONTANEOUS!

Once you've focused by being true to your theme, audience and boundaries, it is easier to think freely about writing topics.  When I say to be spontaneous, I mean that you should not be afraid to explore a topic that pops into your head that might seem too silly or ridiculous or difficult at the beginning.  As I mentioned earlier, people often ask me where I come up with the stuff I choose to write about.  Like most, when thinking about writing topics I reflect on common life experiences, current events, etc. but when some random idea pops up like manatee magnetic dolls, I go with it! 

Although you have probably heard it before, you should definitely write ideas down as they come to you.  If you are driving down a busy interstate, for goodness sakes, stop the car in the middle of the lane and scribble your idea down before it's gone!  Those blasted ideas sometimes choose to creep up on you while you are doing the strangest things, like cutting your grass with scissors, launching water balloons full of red paint onto the side of your neighbor's house, hiding from store employees in the toilet paper aisle, etc. so be ready, for cryin' out loud.  Be ready!

With that said, I believe everyone deals with writer's block from time to time.  The question is...are you going to karate chop that block?  Huh?  Huh?  One of my favorite blogs, Hyperbole and a Half, wrote a recent post about generating content for her blog that you can find hereAlso helpful is the awesome "Idea Bank" that you can find over at Kludgy Mom.  Gigi hosted a six-week blogging series which produced this awesome collection of writing topics.   Even if you don't choose a particular topic from the list, going through it may trigger another idea that you like better.  It will surely help the creative juices flow.  Bottoms up, bottoms up, you better grab a cup- you're about to tear your blog up! (It all comes back to hip-hop with me...)

So, that's it.  That's all I got for you today.  I hope you found the post to be helpful!  To help you remember my tips, I developed a little handy acronym- TABS- Theme, Audience, Boundaries & Spontaneity.  There are options here, however.  Don't despair!  If you are more of the violent type, go with STAB.  If you like flying, blood-sucking animals, go with BATS.  Maybe you don't like acronyms that make words, so go with ATBS.  Maybe you don't like acronyms at all, so just forget I said anything...


Toss in your $50 (you think I'm settling for 2 cents, homie?) and let us know what inspires YOUR creative writing!


Who wants a manatee doll for Christmas, huh?

http://www.jeffsweather.com/
As many of you know, I live in the Houston-area where the air is pristine.  Equally pristine are our waters that tumble through the Ship Channel and past refinery after chemical plant after refinery after chemical plant.  In this warm body of water floated a manatee several years ago.  Manatees are also called "sea cows" apparently.  I wonder if the first manatee to be called a "sea cow" yelled back with, "WHO YOU CALLIN' A COW, YOU UGLY HUMAN?"  Back to the a manatee in the Ship Channel...he was all alone.  A single manatee.  A one-man-bandatee.  Manatees are not native to this area.  They live off the coast of Florida, 800 miles to the east, or off the Yucatan peninsula, 600 miles to the south.  With all the two headed fish, three-headed snakes and one-eyed turtles, well, there's just no room for the cows, the cows that go moo (we're Tiegra & Bunny and we like to moo).  This cow wasn't going moo.  This cow was going boo-hoo where's my food?  Apparently, wildlife officials were hoping to feed this large beast some iceberg lettuce as the manatee eats 50 pounds of aquatic plants a day.  Back then I was wishing I could've been one of those wildlife officials trying to entice a huge sea animal with my Cobb Salad. 
"Here, manateemanateemanatee, heeeeeeeerrrrrrreeeeee, manateemanateemanatee...  Mama's got some reaaaaaallll nahs lettuce fer ya.  Come own, come own...don't be shy nay-yow.  You in Texas nay-yow.  We goan treatchew like family.  You lahk ray-yunch?"


http://www.flickr.com/photos/nakrnsm/3668714872/

I honestly think about that manatee every time I cross over the large Ship Channel bridge.   Officials believed that manatee had been swirled about in hurricane waters and set off on a cock-eyed course towards Houston.  I just know one day he was enjoying a tostada & margarita con su familia en la Yucatan Peninsula and the next day he's all, "WHOOOAAAAAA, donde esta mi familia, hombres?  I'm getting deeeeeeesy. WHOOOAAA, yo soy in Tejas con los pescados con DOS CABEZAS???"  Poor lonely manatee.  He probably felt like changing his name to insanatee.  Ever since that story came out, I will occasionally think about those manatees and comes up with names for all of their relatives.  My dad and I first laughed about our imaginary manatee family when the story came out.  It's my dad's fault I'm not dealing with a full deck.

Against my better judgment and my husband's strong "NEXT TOPIC" advice when I brought up my post idea, I present to you our family of manatees below.  Just in time for Christmas, you will be able to buy my magnetic Manatee doll collection.  Pictured below are the two large manatees you can choose from to receive RIGHT to your mailbox.  Listed beside these beautiful creatures are the different manatee characters with their respective accessories.  You can buy each character separately for $10 or the WHOLE SET for $40, but you gotta act fast! 

http://www.boats-florida.com/

The grandmother: NANATEE
She will come with a gray wig & knitting needles that will strap easily over her flippers.

The conservative cousin: HANATEE
A suit jacket & red tie will magnetically attach to the upper half of his body.  On the lower half will be a pair of manatee jeans, as the only the top half will be visible during his Fox News broadcasts, of course.

The rocker: SANTANATEE
A guitar, a fedora and a big thick black moustache to situate just below his cute nose.  A CD of Sanatanatee's greatest hits will be also be included.

The biker: BANDANATEE
A red banadana will fit snugly over his brown, bald head, a black, leather jacket will adorn his back and a small motorcyle will be available on which Bandanatee can perch his extremely large body.

http://www.orlando-tours.com/
The goody-two-shoes: POLLYANNATEE
A blonde, curly wig will be available for her head along with a frilly dress and a small tape of Haley Mill's voice spouting all types of really positive messages. 


The self-absorbed aunt: VANATEE
This lovely manatee will come with a blinged out cell phone, a mirror attached to her flipper, red magnetic lips and a tape with the song, "Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me..." to play as often as you wish.

The 80's boy band: DURANDURANATEE
This manatee comes with messy hair, calls himself Simon, has a microphone strapped to his flipper and is equipped with a button that sings "Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand..." every time you push it.


Which one is Santa bringing you??

If you have other magnetic manatee doll name ideas, pass them on!  I promise you will get a cut of the HUGE profits this is bound to rake in this December!


FREE COOKIES & the Captcha Balderdash #5 Wrap-Up


Well, helllllloooooooo there!  So glad you came back!  Hugs, hugs, hugs.  And some cookies.  Grab you a cookie real quick (they are, too, real!  I didn't lie about free cookies!  Try a little harder...).   Okay, if you are anything like me, I like to heat my cookies up in the microwave so that it tastes like it just came out of the oven.  It annoys the heck out of my husband.  (HOW IT WORKS: When he walks into the room, he's full of heck.  When I heat the cookies, the heck is annoyed right out of him).  I tweeted last week that one of my favorite hobbies is to annoy my husband.  It's the truth.  I'll heat any old cookie I can find, even if it's not heatable, just because I know it'll annoy him.  He'll give me the sideways eyes.  Chips Ahoy, you're getting singed.  Oreo, prepare to burn.  Lorna Doone.  You really think I buy Lorna Doones?  Lorna Doom.  Lorna Find-Another-Room.  Lorna Get-Swept-Outta-The-Room-With-A-Broom.  Okay, anyway, as I was saying, I like to heat up my chocolate chip cookies, no doubt, so if you like your cookies the right way, please use that microwave directly behind that vending machine up there on the top left.  Go on.

Ya back already?  You know how to heat those cookies like a madman, don'tchee?  I also CANNOT have a chocolate chip cookie without some milk, so please help yourself to a glass of milk.  Oh, let me get that for you.  Did I just get you all wet with that milk?  You can't take me anywhere!  And I have NO napkins in this entire Break Room!  Just an orange chair, a vending machine & microwave.  Ridiculous.  Run around real fast and see if you can dry yourself off. 

You stink like old milk.

Oh, well.  Okay, get comfortable and prepare to marvel at the clever people that played Captcha Balderdash over the last couple of days.  I seriously was thinking about kicking it's big behind like Frankenstein's to the curb because I thought people might be thinking, "Oh, NO!!!  Not Captcha Balderdash AGAIN!!!!!!!".  Well, you maybe you did said that, but still...there were quite a few people that played and quite a few new players, too.  Yay!   I think we WILL play CB in the Break Room again, but maybe not every month.  Every other month? 

(Psst...because I try to keep this blog PG-13ish, I tweaked some of the definitions...a little...)

After reading these clever definitions, I hope you will click on your favorite ones and visit the blogs of these funny & witty people...

#1 LANNOY (Pronounced LA- Noid) by Raquel's World said: Annoyed at someone for being lazy

#2 GOSSUFFL (goss-UFF-uhl) by Sue with the Desperate Housemommy: A term which had its birthplace on the endearing TLC series, "John & Kate Plus Eight." In its original form, it was a noun used by viewers when watching scenes in which the family of ten attempted to mobilize and go somewhere as a group, usually with much commotion, crying, and bickering ("Well, would you look at that GOSSUFL up on the TV screen, Harold? That's just craziness!") However, the term morphed itself into a derogatory adjective used to describe Kate's subsequent performances on Dancing with the Stars ("Holy Moly, Patrice! That excuse for a tango was plain GOSSUFL!")

#3 LARIMBI by Missy with Wonder, Friend: Lorenzo Lamas' younger, weirder brother. They keep him in the attic. There is no record of Larimbi, but if you look closely at the attic window you might see the curtain move, and you may even catch a glimpse of Larimbi's tiny, shrunken head peering back at you.

** I'd just like to say for the record that I now feel kind of bad about this definition. What did Lorenzo Lamas (or Larimbi, for that matter) ever do to me?

#3 HYPSK by Matty with Matty Thoughts: Walking with a lisp.

#4   QUERPL by Monkey Man: an off shade of purple. A queer purple. Querpl. Often used in place of Maple Surple when trying to rhyme with the word purple. See "You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd".

#5 UTEL 6 by Erin with I'm Gonna Kill Him: When a woman's uterus has seen more turnover than a Motel 6. Bed Bug infestation is likely.  Example: Erin is really tired of being a Utel 6 so she'd better remember to swallow those stupid pink pills after the birth of this next one.
#6 PROLIXCREMENT by Ellie: when some one talks and talks but you know everything they are saying is complete b.s.!  Example: He tried to make a point but I couldn't find it through all his prolixcrement!

#7 NOUSE by Melissa E. with In the Short Rows: the unknown plural of the word nice, often found grouped together with these other plural forms of words...mouses, mices, gooses, and mooses.

#8 SCONSIN by Yulia with She Suggests: Jonesin for Scones

#9 CRAPOPOLIS by "Queen" Vic with Crowning Victoria: the state of being for something not so good. IE: My living room is like crapopolis while while planning my wedding.  True Story.

#10 OUSLLY by Kimberly with All Work and No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something: French for "yes you crazy mother BLEEEEEEEEEEP" also known as "Yes silly"

#11 ESPANOLAMOMESSOR (ES SPAN OLE A MOM A SOR) by Kimberly with Fine, How Are You?: This is when a Mom teaches her child how to understand his Spanish homework by taking the book into the bathroom (w/ the laptop- doing some research) and then helping him understand as though she has spoken and known the Spanish Language all her life!

#12 SPALUSN by Copyboy with Not Worth Mentioning: I'm a spaz for lusn my brains! (He said he was still fuzzy with the rules.  Oh, Copyboy, Copyboy...)

#13 IVERRUCA by Robyn with Life by Chocolate: Robyn Alana Engel's Blog: the sudden realization that one's varicose veins resemble an unidentified yet authentic version of an Italian pasta dish. Note: this is not a happy moment.

#14 UNISERV by Wendi Aarons: A new high-grade pharmaceutical from Bristol-Meyers-Squib, Uniserv allows people to transform from their regular gender into that of an asexual, androgynous being a la David Bowie in his glitter years. Perfect for vacations to Europe and/and trips to Neverland Ranch.  (Caution: Use of Uniserv may cause shrinkage, lady boils, day sweats and an intense desire to hump garbage men's legs.)

#15 ORLOCC (Or-lock) by Melinda with Finding the Humor: The state of being stuck in Orlando's grid-lock traffic four lanes over from the exit you need for Magic Kingdom.

#16 REMELITY (Re-me-litee) by Miss Melicious: A word developed in the late 90's to describe the new breed of reality show contestants. With the influx of reality shows including, but not limited to Survivor, The Real World, and Big Brother there also came an influx of egocentric individuals. They do not live in reality...in fact they thrive in their own little world, their remelity.
#17 SPOODW (noun) by Joey with Big Teeth and Clouds: the disgusting collection of food and spittle that collects on a person's lip.  "Grandma, here's a napkin to clean off that spoodw."

#18 GRANTSTR by Tanya with Ignite Your...: Okay this is perfect, a little boy in my daughter's class, who is angelic and devilish at the same time.  "Come here you little grantstr!"

#19 SHLOPPYS by Cheeseboy with The Blog O' Cheese: The baggy sweatshirt your wife puts on at night that says, "this shop is closed for the evening. Don't even try it."   I hate those shloppys!

#20 EOLOKO by MBGITWWR with Fatacular: A danish term for an adolescent child fixated on wearing sombreros.

Which one is your favorite?  Huh?  Huh?  Which one?  Come oooooonnnn.  You've gotta have a favorite.  Which one?  Which one? 

See.  I told you I like to be annoying.  Don't you feel sorry for my husband?


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