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| Are you supplyin' the Marlboros? The beer? |
I never post on the weekend, but this tree got me so upset, I had to post. I am starting a petition to get this tree chopped down RIGHT HERE in the Break Room. It is obnoxious and is absolutely a fire hazard, not to mention a bad influence for the children. I see him every time I go to Target. I used to feel sorry for him because he was all alone in the parking lot, but now? Now I want to chop down his sorry behind. All he does is smoke and cuss all day and put our community at risk for a wildfire. The ashes he flicks on the parking lot are another thing that CHAPS MAH HIDE! Have you ever seen the amount of ashes a tree-sized cigarette can produce?? Guess what cleans up that mess? YOUR TAX DOLLARS! He doesn't even have a job to pay for his dang cigarettes (not to mention legs to go and buy them. Someone's supplyin' 'em and, believe me, I'mma find out who!). If you care about the safety and welfare of the children, will you PLEASE sign my petition to help clean up our parking lots? Just write your name down in that comment section below and help me get that tree either chopped down or moved to another part of town. If you aren't doing it for you, at least do it for the kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiids!!!!!!!!
18 comments:
I did not know you lived in Crosby. Wow.
Lol!! Can't believe that hasn't been run over at least ten times. In 20 years that's going to be the premium shade parking. I'd carve your initials on it so you can claim your stake early. Slide it some beer and maybe it won't allow bird deposits on your car.
He looks like he might be a child molester too.
ROFL!!
That's it! Where's my ax!
Chaps mah hide. Love that expression. That is a pretty pitiful tree, I'll admit it. But instead of trying to KILL it, Kelley, maybe you should try compassion, huh? Let's put it into rehab. Maybe a foster photosynthesis family?
I hear cases of spontaneous combustion are common in your area.
Is this for real? If yes, add my name to any petition. If not, you sure had me fooled. He really does look like a lazy bleepin' bleep.
I'm loving Tarja's suggestion of a foster photosynthesis family.
xoRobyn
You got my vote for turning it into a nice spiral notebook or two.
I would like to know where he got that king sized beer?!
tck tck tck. Damn shame.
Where's the trailer?
Ok ok, it's me, I admit it, I'm supplying him with smokes and he's slowly supplying me with the Christmas spirit...I'm sorry, I know it's wrong, but if I don't get some spirit soon, I'll be stringing my husband up by the Christmas lights and opening all the gifts before the kids wake up Christmas morning!
PS: have I told you lately how fricken hilarious you are, and what a brilliant mind you have? You do.
I'm confused?
The tree smokes?
I'm slow I guess and guess what I'm a brunette
I totally blame it on his environment. Growing up in an asphalt jungle would be hard on any acorn. Before you judge him you should put yourself in his soil and be in his roots for awhile. Imagine leaning there day after day at a slant because no one loved you enough to stake you down to make sure you grew straight. Imagine choking on fumes from soccer moms gas gussling SUV's everyday. Watching people carry in their small dogs but leave their kids in the car!! (The horror!!) Like any other teenager this misguided sapling just needs a little love.
Next time you go to Tar-ge to pick up some Gla-de remember to pick up some miracle grow for this poor little tree. He also wanted me to tell you Kelley that he knows it's you who is letting your boys pee on him when you think no one is looking!!!
Poor tree. I would have run him over, I have a really hard time noticing things in my rear-view like bldgings and buses...let alone a tiny tree. I think some Xmas lights would do him some good.
This is genius. Homeless alcoholic trees clogging up parking lots is no bueno.
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