Each month I try to salute an "Underappreciated Lady of Industry" (formerly called "Real Women of Genius") with a song. The previous ladies that have been honored include Ms. Salad-Bar-Stocker-Lady, Ms. Wal-Mart-Greeter-And-Receipt-Highlighter and Ms. Tortilla-Chip-Basket-And-Tea Refiller. These songs only make sense if you are familiar with the Budweiser "Real Men of Genius" songs with which I'm sure most of you are well acquainted! Patiently waiting on the sidelines for her turn has been...
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| www.phlegmfatale.blogspot.com |
Ms. Luby's-Cafeteria-Worker-And-Food-Scooper.
She could have thrown a fit, broken dishes against the wall, yelled obscenities at me like Ms. Tollbooth-Operator-And-Change-Maker (who, as you can see, has NOT been featured yet because of that sassy attitude) when I came to frequent her restaurant for having to wait months for her debut, but...the Luby's lady didn't. She is a lady of class and one to be admired.
Growing up, we always went to the same Luby's and had the same lady roll around to our table with her cart of tea, water, sugar, napkins and small snakes dipped in honey and rolled in pecans. (If you caught that last part, you are definitely reading this post and have been designated to receive all of my valuables when I die. Be sure to mention that part below if you want some sparkly diamonds). I always wondered if she wanted to be the lady who cut my fried fish in half for the LouAnn Platter or if she coveted her position on the floor refilling tea. I think she loved that tea job. She was always smiling anyway. Maybe it was because I followed her around tickling her right in her fleshy armpits. I don't know. All I know is, it's Luby's turn!
Kelley's Break Room presents...
"Unappreciated Ladies of Industry"
(Unappreciated Ladies of Induuuuusstreeee-eeee!!!)
Today we salute, YOU, Ms. Luby's-Cafeteria-Worker-and-Food-Scooper
(Ms. Luby's-Cafeteria-Worker-and-Food-Scoo-oooooper!!!!!!!)
It's another day with your head under the hot heat lamps while your hands swelter in the sauna made by the plastic gloves, but you don't care. You don't care because scooping up beans, squash, potatoes and Salisbury steak is the game and, after all, Ms. Luby's-Cafeteria-Worker-and-Food-Scooper is your name.
(Don't you go be confusing me with Ms. Picadilly!!!!!)
You pride yourself in how quickly you can plop a dollop of tartar sauce by the fried fish while simultaneously passing it to the left without dropping eye contact with your customer because you know it all comes down to how quickly that line moves and all eyes are on you. That is why it burns you up when that little girl...that old lady...the teenager on her phone...and that wrinkled old man...can't....decide...what...they...want.
(These-slow-people-'bout-to-get-pelted-with-some-old-hard-dinner-rolls)
You enjoy your job because you used to call yourself a "people person" and turnip greens used to just call your name, but the stress...and the heat lamp burn...sometimes becomes too much. You have begged and begged to be moved to the jello and salad area at the beginning of the line because of the cooler temperatures and also because of the fact that nobody hardly ever wants salad. Their eyes are glued to the liver and onions, which absolutely would allow you to have that much needed break. But, nope...your manager wants you right in front of the steamin' macaroni and cheese...that always needs to be refilled.
(Doesn't anybody ever want any of those dang, healthy-for-you steamed CAAAAAA-HAAAAARROTTTTTS?!?!?)
So, crack open a new package of sauna gloves, Ms. Luby's-Cafeteria-Worker-and-Food-Scooper, and know that your smile and efficiency are the REAL reason people return to Luby's again...and again...and again...and again (also, that sweet tea hits the spot, as does that red jello...and that chocolate pudding...).
Ms. Luby's-Cafeteria-Worker-and-Food Scoooooooooooper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| http://www.blisstree.com/ P.S. I know that the Lunch Lady above is a school cafeteria worker, but how could I NOT include her lovely picture? She would've switched over to Luby's if it hadn't been for the school hours she loved so much. By the way, if you love a song about Sloppy Joes, Slop-Sloppy Joes and navybeansnavybeansnavybeansnavybeans as much as me, you might ask Santa to buy this for you:  |
48 comments:
No Luby's here! We Mormons do love the buffets, but they are all self-serve around here.
whoot for good food workers!!
Snakes dipped in honey then rolled in pecans - yummm! ;)
If I were her I would totally pelt the slow people with the old dinner rolls. In fact, I might start carrying them around to throw at slow people myself! :D
Wow. I don't know what Utahns would do if they got help at the buffet. Probably never go home... Scooping their own Mac and Cheese is what keeps them fit and trim.
The toy is hilarious. I almost peed on myself. If you'd like to see some early Adam Sandler songs, watch Mixed Nuts. It's my fave Christmas movie!
Small snakes dipped in honey and rolled in pecans?
That is just all kinds of awesome.
What??? Are you telling me there are people that actually scoop your food for you??? Where have I been???
Hats off the the super scooper ladies!! I need to find me one!
I sooo need a scooper here! Instead I am forced to balance and scoop food onto three plates while trying to get the kids to decide what the hell they want and simultaneously avoid the glares of all the people I am holding up in line. Sigh...
I wonder what she thinks of people like me who avoid her glass covered buffet lines at all costs. You know why? Because I have short arms, and the stuff I like is always in the back, so when I leave her glass covered buffet table, I leave little lipsticky kiss marks on her glass.
oh my. that was the ending to a slow day. thanks so much!!!
We sang slop, slop, slop, sloppy joes for the first three weeks of school.
Snakes dipped in what the hell? What restaurant are you eating in and I want Mah name in your will ;)
What a tribute! I confess I have never been to Luby's - I think I need to locate one and try it :-)
ha!ha! I love me some diamonds ;-) Amy @ http://mommetime.com/
Diamonds!! Lol I grew up going to the K&W cafeteria every Sunday after church. The same ladies were always there. I just realized I have deprived my kids of this experience. Ps: I loved the lunch lady!! CF RIP.
Okay, it's all hilarious! And while I'm reading, I keep hearing the Bud Light announcer guy's voice...is that wrong?!
Kelly - fast becoming my favorite fellow blogger. Ladies of Industry is genius and this post is hilarityousness. Those heat lamps can be brutal. Never try and sunbathe under one.
I can still hear the guy from survivor singing the background music to it. A fitting tribute to the lady of Luby's.
Bravo!!!! 10 stars for such a funny post. I was laughing so hard! But you have to be familiar with the Bud commercial to get the full effect. BTW I'm very interested in your rap video and would do all i can to make that possible. Don't back off from that now it would be classic.
You memorialized her well.
You know, I tried Luby's once and I was appalled to discover it's an a la carte operation. I like AYCE establishments like Furr's.
This cracked me up. There is no Luby's here, rather a K&S where the ladies that "work the line" are just as you have described them. There is a mean one that if you dare stall on your choice, she'll skip your ass and keep the line moving right around you while scowling at you the whole time. I love her cranky ass!
Oh and snakes dripped in honey and rolled in pecans.
Somehow I can see that lunch lady play set being really useful when we play Barbies. I'm pretty weird, I think the little mini lunch tray is really cute!
I adore that you found lunch lady action figures.
Classic. Although, I don't know about you, but cafeteria food always gives me heartburn. Is that why you like Pepto-Bismol so much?
LMAO!!! Kelley, you out-do yourself again and again. This is my FAVORITE....only because I LOOOOOOVEEEEE LUBY's and can appreciate the sarcasm. Thanks for making me laugh today. ;)
Is it called Luby's because of all the grease in the food?
OK, that? was hi-LAAAAR-ious!
So one time I went to get a massage at a spa, and guess who the masseuse was? My old elementary cafeteria lady. She was big and loud.
Definition of awkward.
Hi Sloth lover! Hope you had a nice weekend. It's really great how you honor the lunch ladies of the world. They definitely unsung heros of the incredible hot meals in our school system.
BTW, loved your ending on your comment "either way, I like it" re: whether we are all just snoops. Hilarious - that and your profile and blog link don't show up when I click your name in my comments, which means you think there are some super dubber creeps out there.
Going to the zoo tomorrow, I'll see your prehistoric slothy friend and we will give him your regards....
I want sparkly diamonds too! But I prefer my snakes dipped in agave nectar and rolled in sliced, blanched almonds, please. Thanks.
Oh, that heat lamp burn is sooo painful.
Luby's, huh? Never heard of it. Time to take a trip down south, methinks. Nicely done, Kelley.
I read the part about the small snakes dipped in honey and rolled in pecans so don't forget to include my name in the list of people who will receive your bling!
I read every single one of your words! Why wouldn't I? You are hilarious! You're a rockstar! No, you're the rockstar! Whose the rockstar! Kelley's the rockstar!
God, it's been ages since I've been to a Luby's OR a Picadilly. I wonder if they poach each other's cafeteria ladies, like "ohhh, she scoops those mashed potatoes really well, just what we need."
Plop a dollop is going to stay with me for a long while...
Lord have mercy, you can pelt me with these songs of genius any day of the week. Btw, did you say 'snake?' I remember Luby's well from my days in Austin. My dad did some real damage there. 'never dropping eye contact' - hilarious. And you know, these songs should be performed one day. At say, BlogHer. Can I be your backup?
Scoop me us baby.
Do Chipoltle next! Do it do it do it!
Now I want some fish and tartar sauce.
Oh, I feel the same way about my Luby's lady. She's like part of the family.
Hilarious! And I was totally picturing school cafeteria ladies. except for the honey-dipped snakes...waaaaaay too chi chi for our public school's budget. I bet a good, stiff drink would definitely improve attitudes on the lunch line. :)
I love sugary coated snakes served by ladies with big ole fleshy arms. Pretty much sums up my childhood too.
And, I never want to eat at a buffet again. I have no idea what a Luby's is, but it sounds fantastic for people watching...not so much for eating, though.
"Snakes dipped in honey then rolled in pecans.." Eeeewwwwww!
Those first 2 photos were frightening!
I laughed at the Moose, but I love that you spelled it "Jimmeh!"
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