The Truth Comes Out, Homies

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Okay, first things first…everyone gather around in a big group hug.  For everyone that played “Five Big, Fat Lies and…the Truth” with me either in the comments section or mentally (I know there are a lotttttttt of lurkers out there!), THANKS, MAN!!!  Most every comment had a least some truth in it, EXCEPT FOR THE MOCK TURTLENECKS STATMENT, FOR GOODNESS SAKES (I said I had an extensive collection).  The statement that was ABSOLUTELY TRUE, however, was guessed correctly by the following really, really, really, really, really smart people:

Lisa (my sister!!) with Social-o-logy
My dear friend, Tiffany (no blog)
Momma Kiss (Happy Birthday!!!)
(Go visit their sites…but after you’re finished reading mine, a’ight?)




It’s not so hard to believe anymore, is it? 



Alllll of these homies knew that I knew just about ALL the words to almost every song on Warren G.’s 1994 album, “G Funk Era”.  Back in 1994, this CD was alllllllllll up in the CD player of my hand-me-down-humility-building 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera.  Regulaaaatorrrrs, MOUNT UP!!!  It was a clear dark night, a clear white moon, Warren G. was on the streets trying to consume…” was often heard coming out of my speakers.  I know the girls that guessed this as my truth could probably sing along.  Am I right or am I right?  If you want to hear more (and you know you do), click here.  I know there are a range of ages that read this blog, so I will let it pass if you don’t know it.  “Regulate” was my song back in 1994 (my second year in college).  I just felt all invincible, tough and urban-like with my girfriends as we all became Warren G. himself for a few minutes.  The crazy thing is that I could listen to Warren G. one minute and then decide I needed a Anne Murray “Could I Have This Dance?” fix an hour or so later.  I know.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me either.

 

IMPORTANT SIDENOTE: That fake mink, the Louis Vuitton and the necklace all aren’t mine.  Everything I own is from Target.

Some of you STILL deserve to win, however, because you practically guessed correctly.  If it weren’t for my sly, dishonest ways, you would have been right!  A Family of Looneys, Finding the Humor, Momma Made It Look Easy, Monkey Man, Lex Loci Lori, Snips and Snails (who is the mother of beautiful Andrew on my sidebar), Mojo Mama Blog, All Work and No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something, Kludgy Mom, Knee Deep in Mommahood, Confessions of a Closet Hoarder and Life by Chocolate: Robyn Alana Engel’s Blog all said the following was TRUE:
“At a party in college, I tried to impress someone by lying and saying that I could play the heck out of a harmonica. Within seconds, a harmonica was in my hand and I was surrounded by interested partygoers waiting for me to belt out some B.B. King tunes. I faked that I was sick to avoid further humiliation.”
 All of that was true EXCEPT that it was a GUITAR I pretended to know how to play, not a harmonica.  If I really could play a harmonica and that story was true above, I sure wouldn’t be playing someone else’s harmonica.  Icky.  To be fair, I wasn’t trying to all-out LIE.  I had strummed a guitar a few times and maybe mentioned that I had done that to my new friend when it was perceived that I said I could actually play a song.  Seeing how impressed the person was by this statement of mine, I didn’t immediately retract it.  All of sudden, that blasted guitar was in my hands…  I’m sure I was really craving some of my beloved Pepto Bismol at that point.
And because I just know you are DYING to know…

My favorite female comedian is Kristen Wiig, not Ellen DeGeneres.  Looooooove her.  One of my favorite skits is where she impersonates KLG.


I DO love to impersonate Lily Tomlin characters, love The Mandrell Sisters television show and would totally drop everything, including my neighbor’s tiny dog, if The Carol Burnett Show came on TV.  Monkey Man said I was too young to know these shows.  It’s true that I wasn’t in my prime when these were on TV, but I remember them all.  I’m 35 years old, so I’m not sure how old I was when they were on-air.  Six months old?  Daaaaaaaang.  I have a good memory.



Lastly, I did discover quite late that “awallago” meant “a while ago”, but I probably realized it circa 1985.  It dawned on me all of sudden with a “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, they’re saying ‘a WHILE ago’.  Now that I’ve figured this out, NOTHING’s gettin’ pass me, people!!”  I could probably write a whole Jeff Foxworthy-esque post about the things Southern people say.



So, that’s it.  Now comes the fun part where I pass this fun little game on to 3 other people.  Kimberly from All Work and No PLay Makes Mommy Go Something Something gave it to me and now I am passing it on to…Momma Kiss, The Kludgy Mom and Life by Chocolate: Robyn Alana Engel’s Blog.  Play only if you want to, of course!
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Pssst…did you notice my “favicon” of an orange chair in that very top bar of your computer?  I won it from Angela over at “Striking Keys” and I love it!  Thanks, Angela!!!

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